OCR Text |
Show VIRGINIA CITY NEWS, FRIDAY, MAY 23, 1930 The Home Censor ALL SQUARE M An old negro had been discovered stealing chickens. The owner decided to speak kindly to him. "You see," he said, it Isnt the loss of the chickens that worries me. You could always have had one If youd asked for it. What worries me is that an old fellow like you should be so sinful. Whatever will you do on judgment day when those birds are mentioned in evidence against you? The old man showed signs of anxiety. "Is dera chickens gwine to be dar? be asked. Certainly. Den ah gwine say to yo, Is dese hynh you chickens, sir? An yoll say, Yes, an Ahll say, You take em, London Tit Bits. sah, yo take em. NLY an old and trusted friend would venture to speak so frankly. A new pipe, or an old one carefully broken in with Sir Walter Raleighs favorite smoking mixture, changes everything. And why shouldnt it? Sir Walter is milder and more fragrant. And it has the hody and flavor found only in the finest of Burley, skillfully seasoned and blended. What more could we offer any pipe smoker? What more could he ask? HER PREFERENCE TUNE IN oa Th Rtltigh Revue every Friday, 10:00 to 11:00 p. m. (New York Time) network of N. B. C. over the WEAF THE FEATHERHEADS High Art PANNV, ah' UtQ. WATTLE "ENJOYING PE PNGS REALLY ."TH6 AESTHETiC TASTE ( WORTH WHILE AND SO ON r SHE'S GONE . "WHAT! -- SHE FIGURES THAT IF YOU CAM PRETEND TO LIKE THE OPERA AND MS DIZZY FUTURIST ART AMD ALL THAT; S ABOUT SWAP FINGER-BOWwiTH THE SOCIAL ELIT- E- WHY YOU CAM j Madam, do you like the Cinema?" Well, yes I do, but I believe I like the p pperinint better." L With Feeling Every life has some great sorrow, Every heart some pang of pain. And 1 have a date tomorrow With my dentist once again. Not Allowed A c man who had made a reputation as an explorer was asked to talk to a gathering of the gentler sex. He demurred. I have never talked to women, you tAv. know. Nonsense his friend replied. the men, why not the 1 You interest women ? I EVER GOT , ALL THE FUM WATCHIM WAS OPERA AM OUT OF MAKE TENOR A LITTLE FAT GgO;GOO EYES AT A TALL SKINNY THAT IF , FlCTiOM FANNY READS STRIKES PAT ME LIKE 8otAu:hof itwas nowwSTORIES SAINTw SOPRJER SMOKIN' CAR PERFUMED! -- BET--.t Io&wucoolo LATTER, BE THE IT WOULD SEE AM THE MODERN To Restore Historic Castle at Bad Koesen, Germany, is to rebuild Castle Saal-ec- k to the state in which it was when occupied by the robber barons of the Middle ages. It was in the tower of the castle that the murderers of Walter Rathneau, foreign minister, committed suicide. Because," he answered, I cant use more than half my vocabulary when I talk to women A historical society t Almost Fortune Dreary Dan Why all the close calculation, Weary? Weary Rhodes Im Just figuring how much money I would have if I got a nickel for every railroad tie Ive stepped on. mom? SHE WOULD MARRY IP'S Take NATURE REMEDY N? tonight. Youll be fit and fine by morning-tong- ue clear, headache gone, appetite back, bowels acting pleasantly, bilious attack forgotten. For constipation, too, Better than any mere laxative. At druggistt only 25c. Make the test tonight FEEL LIKE A MILLION, TAKE C Wssfern Newspaper Ualoa! ' 1 Hit Golden Dream Vanished Agitated Lover Is It true that your father has lost his fortune? His Lady Love (sighing) Yes ail is swept away, but you are left, Percy - other family and they occupy It at night. . dear! Agitated Lover Great Jupiter I should say Lam left I 1 WOULD PREFER DEATH All Pirate Scribe Im sick of this business. Every time I write an original story d some peavy, sap of a weak-minde- would-b- e author steals it Litero But those stories of yours were stolen years before you was HAD IT IN HIS SCHOOL born. Try It Once Knosit All women like a little Tries to Understand Her The Housing Problem Policeman You folks can't stay in the park all night Youll have to go home. ' Mr. Doubleup But its not our turn, We share our flat with an- officer. The ' , f - Doctor Where do you have this pain, my boy, always in your abdomen?" Willie "No, sir, always in my schooL Passing It Around The Smitten Swain Love me and the world is mine! The Baby Yamp Fine! Love me and I'll get it away from you. The malevolent have hidden teeth. Strengthened by Lydia E, Pinkhams Vegetable So you . intend to marry my son without my consent? Yes and without his If necessary. Compound I used to be as St. Paul, Minn. tired when I got up in the morning as when I went to bed. I had faint- State of Uncertainty motor in a reckless way And carefully contrive To read the paper every day To see if I'm alive! tery. Prosit Ever tell a woman she looks well preserved? Fie What would you do If I would ask you to pass your life with me? She Id laugh myself to death. SHE EOT DP t flat- Does your husband try to understand you? Yes, indeed. He always asks twice when I tell him what I want USED WHEN His Sacrifice "And to think that my son might have been prime minister. But what prevented him? He married and his wife did not want him to go In for politics." Madrid Gutierlez. At the Marriage Bureau Female Applicant Id like to marry, but only through love. Im very sorry, madam, but that department of our business was shut down long ago. ing spells and it was my age. I read a Lydia E. Pinkkam booklet and started tak- Remarkable Personality Mrs. Diggs Mrs. Slinger is a woman with a wonderful personality, dont you think, my dear? Mrs. Jabbs Goodness gracious yes I Why, that woman has buried three husbands in the last two years. The Whole Show The Sally Skirtzoff appears to be the most popular member of your Bathing Beauty ballet. The Manager Yes, she outstrips them ail. First-Night- er pal- pitation. Of course ing the Vegetable Compound three times a day. I am now a well woman. Three neighbors I of my know what it did for me so they are taking it too. I will write to any woman if Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable Compound will help her as it did me. I feel like a young woman now and I thank you. Mrs. H. C. Henry, 286 Fuller Ave., St. Paul, Minnesota. W. N. U., Salt Lake City, No. 20-19- 30. ' |