Show CHARLOTTE HARLO E A STORY ASTORY GATHERED FROM LIFE by ELIZABETH MARKUS 4 c it was in an innocent little rhyme to the effect if you wear a flower of mine I 1 will kiss tho the lips of thine I 1 felt the blood surge to tho the roots of my hair my heart beat fast I 1 was startled and I 1 did not dare to glance at him after he had whispered the words to me will you will you kiss me he asked taking my hands and his dark eyes glittered at me As I 1 made no reply he repeated the question in a passion charged tone which mado made me quiver my brain had begun to work though I 1 felt betwixt and between I 1 was conscious of where I 1 was and that if anyone would find me in such a position id be disgraced tor for lifetime I 1 dashed to the door he caught me by the sleeve and stammered something his lips were near mine to carry out his desire when appeared on the scene A flush of anguish mounted his cheeks and the tears sprung into my eyes my beloved teacher my Po loton should catch me in such an embarrassing position it was unspeakably horrible he sent ernst von to the study room and said regarding him stonily out of his slumberous brown eyes at this moment he resembled his wife strangely ill attend to you and your painful behavior later ho he ordered me emphatically into his room where I 1 had to tell him every everything t h ing every word I 1 had said and every word ernst von had bad said and how low it happened at last I 1 cried bitterly I 1 felt as if I 1 had bad committed some terrible crime this broke the spell he rose and enveloped me in his arms have many temptations my beautiful child I 1 hope I 1 can always shield you deep emotion struggled in his voice and again the magnetic shock ran through me 1 I I 1 have to go and pack my books so its all done tomorrow I 1 stammered yes go my daughter god bless you are you glad to go home he added after a short pause yes no yes I 1 scarcely knew what I 1 said and with a goodnight good night 1 I left the room 1 I was miserable I 1 packed and strapped my books and other belong ings and went to bed sobbing there was no room in me except fo for r n misery i e ry my tears streamed in su such c ah overwhelming e wh elming abundance that I 1 unconsciously ly searched for reasons for them and I 1 found that besides pelo 1 1 ton ernst von and my disgrace the sorrow of this whole life seemed to take share in them and in blurred visions mother father paul lenchen alice and moved hither and thither until I 1 fell asleep in my dream angels and fairies carried me over lands and seas to the land of sunshine to america I 1 was in flower gardens bathed in in morning orning sunshine the dew drops on the petals of the flowers were diat monds which gathered for a crown tor for me I 1 was floating down the river in a canoe and bending over to see my image in the clear water rose from the waves led me to tile the peaks of mountains ns as high as the heavens and when my feet refused lie he carried me he stood with me on the top of those mountains and as I 1 uttered rapturous words about tile the world around and beneath me his low voice said this all is yours you beautiful child when the sun sull was going down and it became chilly that 1 I shivered took me by the arm and led me to a beautiful cottage covered with rambling roses inside he enveloped ve loped me with ills his arms I 1 felt his lips on my mv longing lips in endless soft kisses A delicious magnetic shock ran through my veins for moments I 1 lay still like mesmerized suddenly I 1 awoke I 1 opened my eyes wag I 1 still under the spell 11 0 of f ab my dream or what was it on tl the io table a candle was burning and v was ras bent over me ills his face seemed very white and his eyes were unveiled A flame was leaping from them into my eyes dazed me moments escaped until I 1 found words what is the matter I 1 asked drowsily 1 I thought you called me 1 I was sleeping and I 1 feared some one was harming you my beautiful child he said straightening himself one never knows what these boys will instigate now sleep my daughter sleep its midnight and he smoothed over my head in a fatherly way but my instinct observed the light of a strange undercurrent in his face As he noiselessly left my room with the burning candle in his hand he looked to me more like an overwhelming power than a man his words and my dream had struck upon my brain spreading magic darkness I 1 tell fell asleep again the morning found me awake bright and early I 1 reflected what I 1 should do I 1 had intended to accompany I 1 the Pelo tons to church and there meet mother and go home with her but after what had happened in the night I 1 changed my plans I 1 feigned a sick headache and left their house right after breakfast to flee to mother A mothers eye is ia keen it can see through ton ten iron doors was one of mothers sayings after a kiss of greeting she checked my questions about home affairs and looked me full in the face tell me one thing charlotte did you did he did anything happen what do you mean mother I 1 tried to meet her gaze steadily and boldly did he do nothing to you mother alother I 1 dont know what you mean I 1 replied with some heal and turned away from her sullenly 1 no you wont get away from me like this she cried seizing me by the arm first you have to answer met me did he are you as pure as you were when you left me mother such a question you are the child of your father you dont only bear his name his hot Hung hungarian irian blood flows in your veins I 1 have to guard you and I 1 ask you as your mother your nearest kin on earth mother 1 I want an answer are you just is as pure as you left me speak yes I 1 said and looked frankly into her eyes what do you mean with yes that all is all right you need not worry I 1 turned to my sisters but again she had me by the sleeve charlotte next sunday take the holy communion for tile the first time can you say this in the face of your god mother please let me alone you are fierce cried I 1 depressed all and trying to free myself from her firm grip something has happened charlotte I 1 know it I 1 can see it in your eyes and after a pause of a second she walled wailed looking at me horror stricken my poor child my poor child he kissed me I 1 groaned relieved rei I that it was as out 1 I thought it the rascal now please mother don dont t torture me any more Pelo tons like a father to me you dont donit understand ile he kissed me like a father would his child mother kept on now you might think lie he means as a father but the way it always begins oh id rather lay you low it all begins innocently here read this she picked up a newspaper and held it ou out t to me inc I 1 stood and read and grew sick at heart with fright I 1 was forced to conclude that every kiss ends in a tragedy and that I 1 had made the beginning of it hero was a vital example dettmer tho the great actor the favorite of thousands dettmer my romeo had shot himself and a few hours later nora lange had blown out her brain and followed him in death they had played romeo and juliet in reality for tile the first time I 1 rea read d and un dor der stood the word affinity helplessly I 1 looked about me I 1 could not grasp it all I 1 lot the torrent of mothers anguished speech pour over me like an april shower suddenly I 1 felt with clearness how closely had been woven in the dreams of 0 my existence As in intervals mothers words wo ds reached my ears tho the way it always starts I 1 saw the tragic end of an affinity my mind was staggered I 1 sank on a chair and wept mother who thought I 1 was grief stricken over the death of dettmer spoke in consoling tones dont cry you silly child dettmer and nora lange deserved no better if you do ovil evil evil will follow you we better get ready for church now 1 I wish I 1 could stay home I 1 moaned it if it the last sunday before your confirmation id say yes replied mother gravely and we went to church XIA EBB AND FLOOD somo some roses start to bloom in may some in june some wait for a still hotter sun but some which are j planted in the hot beds of life unfold their buds sooner it was in the april of life when love had unfolded the first petals of my soul but had spread its shielding calyx leaves around me that no hot sunbeam could untimely touch me again I 1 must confess that her way of shielding me with fingers often jarred me it often set me on fire there were times when I 1 secretly felt a strong repulsion for my mother im not a little child I 1 once protested you are only a child my child mother replied imperative uy ay I 1 did not answer but she could not convince me since I 1 did no longer believe in fairies and santa claus nor in the stork theory in regards to populating tile the world I 1 no longer thought myself a child oh if mothers only knew there are times in a young life when a mother should embrace her child and say I 1 am your friend I 1 was like you when I 1 was young I 1 am like you and not you are only a child my iny child and youve got to obey instead of exercising exer elsing their paren bial authority instead of pouring floods of serious words over tile the childs soul they should laugh it off they should in a light manner try to make ridiculous any untimely sprouts of emotion but its easy to preach light heartedness how could mother be lighthearted light hearted how could she laugh life looked dark and gloomy at her h er and she thought she was doing the right thing to show it to me in its true in her colors no matter from what point a conversation between mother and me started it ended with examples of wickedness of men did you ever come in contact with an afflicted man for instance with a blind man if you did you most certainly have noticed the series of people such a man knows who are afflicted like he finally one comes com es to the pressing oppressing conclusion that half of the world is blind or going blind mother whose matrimonial life was fatally afflicted by the faithlessness of father had come to the end of trust in men and like the blind man she knew of hundreds of cases where the wives suffered like she according to her opinion all men were w ere corrupt not a one was faithful to the wife those who were had not been put to the test they had had no chance to be otherwise mother had the most extensive register imaginable of unfaithful married men to be continued |