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Show PmileAh'lf Double Up "The best way to get the most out of life is to fall in love with a great problem or a beautiful woman!" "Why not choose the latter and get both?" Definite "Afraid you're going to have insomnia? insom-nia? What are the symptoms?" "Twins" What's Left? The doctor told the film actress that she was run down and needed a change. "A change?" said she. "Do you know that during the last eighteen months I've had three husbands, four cars, three jewel robberies, eleven cooks, two divorces, and seven landlords? What other change can yu suggest?" Surprise! "Then I tried to drive round the corner." "Well, what happened?" "There wasn't one." Too Tough! Policeman (producing notebook) Name, please. Motorist (caught speeding) Aloysius Sebastian Syprian. Policeman (putting book away) Well, don't let me catch you again. Misunderstood She had visited every department depart-ment in the big shop and worried the salesmen, without buying anything. any-thing. At last one weary assistant thought a protest was due. "Pardon me, madam," he said, "are you shopping here?" "Certainly," she snapped. "What else should I be doing?" "Well, madam," he replied meekly, "I thought you were taking tak-ing an inventory." Tick Tock He was telling her his family history. "My grandfather was a poor, hardworking hard-working clockmaker. fFhen he died a few years ago he left his estate, which consisted of two hundred clocks, to my father" . 1 "How interesting" she said, "it must have been real fun winding up his estate." III ii il IsjsjJIIMIIJJalUIIULliMi l l' ill Van 7tanct5cdi Largest and Best I Located Hotel F lOOO ROOMS ft lOOO BATHS 1 j $4.00 ONE PERSON V $6.00 TWO PERSONS H0TEI I Wfl UNION SQUARE tj |