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Show THE PROGRESSIVE OPINION fMn Here!" ''FCT Private Hargrove! HPc Marion Hargrove w.M.u. bf ?f ENCE A. GOLDSMITH, back in the old battery where I was sup-posed to have learned the art of cooking for the army, ever gets his hands on this, it will provide him with amusement throughout o long, hard winter. When he reads that Private Edward Thomas Marion Lawton Hargrove, ASN 34116620, is giv-ing advice to prospective soldiers, his derisive bellow will disturb the training program in the next regiment. "My God!" he will roar. "Look who's learning who how to do what! My God! The blind lead-ing the blind!" It was once said, Sergeant Gold-smith, by the eminent vegetarian George Bernard Shqw that he who can, does; he who can't, teaches. This, dear sergeant, is my con-tribution to the army and to pos-terity. Please go away and leave us young people to our studies. asnes. You'll unpack rifles that are buried in heavy grease and you'll clean that grease off them. You'll stoke fires, you'll mop floors, and you'll put a high polish on the win-dows. You'll wonder if you've been yanked out of civil life for This. All your persecution is deliberate, calculated, systematic. It is colle-giate practice of hazing, applied to the grim and highly important task of transforming a civilian into a soldier, a boy into a man. It is the Hardening Process. You won't get depressed; you won't feel sorry for yourself. You'll just get mad as hell. You'll be breathing fire before it's over. Believe me or not, at the end of that minor ordeal, you'll be feeling good. You'll be full of spirit and energy and you will have found yourself. You'll look at the new men com-ing in to go through the same hard-ening period, and you'll look at them with a fatherly and sympathetic eye. They will be "rookies" to you, a veteran of almost a month. For practical advice, there is none better than the golden rule of the Army: "Keep your eyes ODen and the United Brotherhood of Plumbers and Steamfitters, the butt of the of-fice jokes." "Period," said Mr. Griffith, "New paragraph." "I lead a terrible, turbulent life," I wailed. "I am the man forgotten by Destiny." "If you will get your elbows oft my desk," he said, "the boy can put the mail on it. "What you need," he 'continued, sorting through a batch of letters, "is a tour of military service. The Army would make a man of you. I was in the Army in the last war. A top sergeant at eighteen. The Army did wonders for me." "That's not much of a sales argu-ment," I told him. "Then again," he said, "if we must take up my whole busy day weeping over your sorrows, let's not burden the Army when it has a helluva job already. Concerning the whole matter, I would suggest that you apply yourself to making up the woman's page right now, lest you come down tomorrow morning and find someone else sitting in your chair. Leave my sight." "There's not a letter there from New York," I asked, "with my m CHAPTER I If I were giving advice to the boys who have already been called into the Army and will go away in a few days, I'd sum it all up in this: "Paint the town red for the rest of your civilian week. Pay no atten-tion to the advice that is being poured into your defenseless ears for twenty-fou- r hours a day. Form an idea of what Army life is going to be like. Leave your mind open." Two weeks from now, you will be thoroughly disgusted with your new Job. You will have been herded from place to place, you will have wandered in nakedness and bewil-derment through miles of physical examination, you will look upon pri-vacy and individuality as things you left behind you in a golden civilian society. Probably you will have developed a murderous hatred for at least one sergeant and two corporals. You will writhe and fume under what you consider brutality and sadism, and you will wonder how an enlightened nation can permit such atrocity in its army. Take it easy, brother; take it easy. Keep this one beam of radiant hope constantly before you: The first three weeks are the hardest. For those first three or possibly four weeks, you will bear the great-est part of the painful process of adjusting yourself to an altogether new routine. In those first three weeks you will get almost the full required dose of confusion and mis-ery. You will be afraid to leave your barracks lest the full wrath of the war department fall upon you. your mouth shut." At first, probably, you'll be in-clined to tremble at the sight of every corporal who passes you on the street. You might even salute the first-clas- s privates. Then, when the top sergeant neglects to beat you with a knout they rub GI (These two letters are the cornerstone of your future Army vocabulary. They stand for the words "Government Issue" and just about everything yon get in the Army will be GI. Even the official advice. This story, on the other hand, is not GI.) salt into wounds, you might want to go to the other extreme. This way madness lies. When corporals and sergeants are to be dealt with, always remember this: Make friendships first and leave the joking until later. When it's the top sergeant, it might be best to leave the joking perma-nently. It can be very easy to start your military life on the wrong foot by giving your officers and noncommis-sioned officers the impression that you're a wise guy, a smart aleck. Soldiers, like senators, "don't like for a new guy to shoot his mouth oft." So much for the don'ts. On the "do" side, the most important thing for you to watch is your attitude. As a matter of straight and practical fact, the best thing that you can do is to reason that you are going into a new job. The job is temporary, but while you have it it's highly important. As, when you go into a new job in civil life, you do your darnedest to impress your employer with your earnestness, your diligence, your in-terest in vour work eo thou and "Well, my lad," he said with faint glee, "we know what Fate means for you. You can be happy now." name written on it in a delightfully illegible, feminine, and slightly red-headed hand?" "Is there ever?" he snorted. "Let's see " and he went through the stack. "Well, my lad," he said with faint glee, "at last we're getting some-where. We know what Fate means for you. Ypu can be happy now." He handed me a long, white, innocent- -looking envelope, addressed to me. The return address read, "Se-lective Service System Mecklen-burg County Board Number Three." The President of the United States to Marion Hargrove, greetingl -H- - The boy across the table in the Piedmont Grill lifted both hands and clapped his brow three times. He do likewise in the Army. As in your civilian job, the impression is made in the first few weeks. You make that impression, starting from the very first day, by learning as quick-ly as you can, by applying yourself with energy to (each task, no mat-ter how small or how unpleasant it is. You don't get anywhere by buy-ing soda pop or beer for your ser-geant. -B- a- Brodie Griffith, managing editor of the Charlotte-News- , adjusted his ancient green eyeshade and began glancing through a sheaf of copy. "Hargrove," he said, lighting a cigarette, "it beats the hell out of me what fate did mean for you. Dr. Garinger down at the high school said years ago that it didn't write a formal education in on your budget. Belmont Abbey found out that you weren't destined to be worth a hoot as a public relations man for a Ben-edictine college. The' drugstore chain in Washington said you had neither the talent nor the tempera-ment for And you cer-tainly fizzled as a theater usher. Maybe fate don't know you." "May I have a cigarette?" I asked, reaching before he could pro-tect them. "Day after day I work my fingers to the shoulder blades for tKnnb-- nnr livinff Wfl?P. T looked at the clock, then back at his breakfast, then back at the clock. "My name is Hargrove," I said, handing him a cigarette. "Mine is Piel," he said. "Melvin Piel. Tomorrow maybe you can make it 'Private' on the front." "So long as you're healthy," I said, shrugging a shoulder. "It cuts down on the income tax." "My hay fever," he wailed. "What will I do with my hay fever? In the jungles of South Carolina for ma-neuvers, with my hay fever! Oyl" "Just look at it," he said on the way to the bus station, "maybe a posthumous medal my grandchil-dren will get. Private Melvin Piel, who gave his life . valiantly and through the nose from hay fever yet. Sneezing to glory." The bus station on that morning in July was a pathetic picture. Four large groups of boys, reconciled to the grim and gruesome life ahead of them, were bade farewell by wail-ing mothers and nobly suffering girl friends who had come down to see their loved ones off in a blaze of pathos. It was pretty terrible. The buses swung out of the termi-nal, through midtown, and out to-ward the road to Fayetteville. The boys began to feel better, shouted farewells to startled girls on the "Yon don't get anywhere by buy-ing soda pop or beer for your ser-geant." 5fou will find yourself unbelievably awkward and clumsy when you try to learn the drills and the knowledge of this awkwardness will make you even more awkward. Unless you relax you can be very unhappy dur-ing those first three weeks. When you are assigned to your basic training center you'll really get into it. You'll druU and drill, a Utile more each day, and when the sergeant tries to correct or advise you, you'll want to tear his throat out with your bare hands. You'll be sick of the sound of his voice before an hour has passed. The only comfort I can give you is the knowledge that the poor sergeant is having a helluva time too. He knows what you're thinking and he can't do anything about it. You'll be inoculated against small-pox, typhoid, tetanus, yellow fever, pneumonia, and practically all the other ills that flesh is heir to. You'll be taught foot drill, the handling of a rifle, the use of the gas mask, the peculiarities of military vehicles, and the intricacies of military cour-tesy. Most of what you are taught will impress you as utterly useless non-sense, but you'll learn it. You'll be Initiated into the mys-teries of the kitchen police, proba-bly before you've been In the Army for a week. Possibly two days lat-er, you'll be sent on a ration detail to handle huge bundles of groceries. You'll haul coal and trash and am the feature editor of a progres-sive, growing newspaper. What makes it that? My heart's blood makes it that!" "I would fire you tomorrow," he sighed, "if anyone else could possi-bly straighten out the chaos you have brought to this office. In the .most underpaid brotherhood in the world, you are the most overpaid, brother." "I am the most underpaid Siva," I snorted. "Look at me! I am the feature editor, the obituary editor, the woman's page editor, the hospital editor, the re-write man, the assistant to the city editor, the commissar for paste and copy paper and cokes, the custodian of oral memoranda, the public's whipping boy, the translator and copyist of open-foru- letters, the castigator of the composing room staff, the guest artist for ailing col-umnists, the tourist guide for visit-ing school children, the press repre-sentative at barbecue suppers of street and finally broke into raucous song. Four flowers of the nation started a blackjack game on a suit-case in the back' of the bus. Brother Piel's spirits brightened a little. His smooth voice found its way through the hay fever and emerged in song. "It's a lovely day tomorrow," he sang. "To-morrow is a lovely day. "Look at me tomorrow," he said, breaking off suddenly, "Hay foot, Private Piel. Straw foot, Private Piel. Hay and straw and look at what I've got. Hay fever yet! Oy, what a life I'll lead!" "Maybe what I'd better do when I get there, I'd better tell them I'd like to go north. They could use a good man in Alaska." "The South Pole is your meat," I told him. "That's it! The South Pole! Boy, I'm going to love the Army!" The tumult and the shouting died about halfway to Fayetteville. The boys became quiet and thoughtful. (TO BE CONTINUED ) THROW AWAY HARSH LAXATIVES! Millions Have Ended Consti-pation with Simple Fresh Fruit Drink - Don't form the habit of depend-ing on harsh, griping laxatives until you've tried this easy, health-ful way millions now use to keep regular. It's fresh lemon juice and water taken first thing in the morning just as soon as you get up. The juice of one Sunkist Lemon in a glass of water. Taken thus, on an empty stomach, it stimulates normal bowel action, day after day, for most people. And lemons are actively (rood for you. They're among the richest sources of Vitamin C, which com-bats fatigue, helps resist colds and infections. They supply vitamins Bi and P, aid digestion and help alkalinize the system. Try this grand wake-u- p drink 10 mornings. See if it doesn't help you I Use California Sunkist Lemons. , I f ' HIT 7' HEADCOlDSi MISERY F'.SL i j nostril. It (1) shrinks swollen membranes, (2) soothes irritation, (3) helps dear cold-,- ,. clogged nose. Follow W 1858 I 1 j IM9 I Due to an unusually large demand and current war conditions, slightly more time is required in filling orders for a few of the most popular pattern numbers. Send your order to: SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT. 149 New Montgomery Street San Francisco Calif. Enclose 20 cents la coins for each pattern desired. Pattern No Size Name Address New Jumper. ,OLLEGE girls, business girls, young wives all love the jump-er! Here's a new version which you are going to like very much. The jumper buttons in back; the blouse is a round-nec- k style. Barbara Bell Pattern No. 1858-- Is de-signed for sizes 11, 13, 15, 17, 19. Corre-sponding bust measurements 29, 31, 33, 35, 37. Size 13 (31) Jumper requires 3',i yards material, blouse, 2 yards. Girl's Dirndl. LJERE'S that beloved style, the dirndl, which you can make as a school frock for your growing daughter She'll be delighted be-cause this is the fashion every young girl craves. Barbara Bell Pattern No. 1842-- is de-signed for sizes 8, 10, 12, 14. 16 years. Size 10, sleeves, requires 2 yards material. When KIDNEYS need diuretic aid When overstrain or other cause slows down kidney function, the back may ache painfully; Naturally, urinary flow may be lessened frequent but scanty often smarting. "Gett ting up nights" may ruin sleep. To relieve such symptoms, you want quick stimulation of kidney action. To help attain this, try Gold Medal Capsules. This diuretic has been famous for over 30 years for such prompt action; Take care to use only as directed on pack- - age. Only 35 at drug stores. Accept no substitute. Get the genuine Gold Medal Capsules today. They tct Jastl - UNITED STATES BONDS AND STAMPS i ON THE (HOME FROHm I 1 'ts Camel's job to see our b f .J-- ij soldiers, sailors, and Marines r&&" everywbere get their cigarettes ' 'V ft I fresh cool smoking and slow """J1 jj , f burning, the way they like 'em. ' r' That's why Camels are packed W-- "s to go around the world packed i .'? to seal in that famous Camel V . S' sl p ,.t;;.w.-- - flavor and mildness anywhere, ;'' J jrA montks at a tme tt ( r'mf& 'ne Camel pack keeps your NQL9 Camels fresh and too preserving for you the extra M goodness of Camel's matchless P blend of costlier tobaccos. OfJj FIRST IN THE ftMH SERVICE XffhJ The favorite cigarette with men In ll'fy the Army, the Navy, the Marine!, 7y and the Coast Guard i Camel. ' (Based en actual sales recordj.) by gluing spools in place. This cabinet gives a convenient place for toilet articles and the mirror door is well lighted with wall brackets connected with a floor outlet. NOTE This sketch is from BOOK 7 of the series prepared for readers on making things for the home. It also contains sketches and directions for 31 other things to make from odds and ends on hand and inexpensive new materials. Booklet costs 15 cents. Send request for booklet di-rect to: MRS. RUTH WYETH SPEARS Bedford Hills New York Drawer 10 Enclose 15 cents for Book No. 7. Name Address '. CABINET WITH MIRROR ''"is II) PINE DOOR SITS ON TOP FRAME WITH SHELF FOR J JBEDDING FITS OYER COT COME people have a talent for making guests comfortable and they are not always the people with big houses and what used to be called a spare room. Many a homemaker today is graciously sharing limited space in a house or apartment because war condi-tions make her feel that is part of her contribution. This sketch shows an ingenious frame under which a folding cot may be stored in a hall or other corner. The frame has a full skirted cover of denim trimmed in bands of flowered chintz. On top there stands a medicine closet with feet made S I This question is often settled by the quality of the vaccine 1 I used. Cutter Vaccines and Serums are not produced for 1 I I 4 the buyer who wants to save two cents on a hundred dol- - 1 I - lar animal. We produce vaccines and serums for your stock 1 4 e way we produce them for human use ... yes, they're " t A r made by a laboratory which makes vaccines and serums for c - J I a yu an yur children, and for the armed forces. Sec your J ':"" t i V J CUTTER distributor! Cutter Laboratories, Berkeley, Calif. i .. giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i iiiiiiiiii "I""" i iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"iiiii"iiiii I BEGIN THIS FIUE SERIAL TODAY 1 Read the first installment and look for another absorbingly interesting installment each weeL It's a nWNU Super.or Serial" the guarantee of fine fiction. H limn in imiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiii minimi immmim mimiiiiimimmimiimimimmiiE HUOUSEHOLD' A hot-wat- bottle placed in the clothespin bag when hanging out clothes will keep the hands warm in cold weather. Always try hot fat with a piece of bread before putting in cro-quettes. Here's a different frosting for white or yellow cake. To one-ha- lf cup crushed pineapple, add one cup crumbled macaroons, one-ha- lf teaspoon lemon juice, and a little confectioners' sugar to taste. To add greatly to the conven-ience of your knitting or sewing bag, paste a piece of measuring tape across one of the handles. Most such handles willtake a strip. A dress snap sewed on the in-side of a man's trouser cuff will make the job of letting down the cuffs for cleaning easy and will spare resewing each time. When the wooden handle breaks off the monkey wrench, hammer a piece of pipe over the end tight-ly. Let it be somewhat longer than the original- - handle for greater leverage. A cloth-wrapp- brick is a handy item for your sewing room. Any work which must be held taut while being sewed can be pinned to the brick and thus anchored firmly. When your iron sticks to cloth-ing, ask yourself whether you've used too much starch or rinsed clothes improperly. If not, dirt on the bottom of the iron may be causing the condition, in which case rub the bottom of the iron with a damp cloth. When cool, polish with a dry cloth. In very stubborn cases, use silver polish or run the iron over table salt, spread on waxed paper to smooth the sole plate. In Second War The letter "R" in a soldier's serial number indicates that he served during the First World war and has Mighty River Ocean-goin- g steamers can traveJ 2,300 miles up the Amazon. A quiz with answers offering ? 7Jsf 'normat'on on var'ous subjects 9. The liver. 10. The only time that an object may be placed on an American flag is when it is draping the cask of a war veteran, and the only objects which may be so used are his helmet, sword and the floral tribute from the one who was clos-est to him in life. The Questions 1. The inscription, "Pro patria," which appears on pins given blood donors means what? 2. How many Balkan states are there? 3. In which book of the Bible is the Golden Rule stated? 4. How many men are needed on the ground for each man who flies? 5. Who suspended the sword over the head of Damocles? 6. What was the original name of Nova Scotia? 7. The names of Robert Adams, George Hepplewhite and Thomas Sheraton are associated with what? 8. What is the distance usually run in a marathon race? 9. What is the largest gland in the human body? 10. When .may an object be placed on the American flag? The Answers 1. For our country. 2. Six Jugoslavia, Rumania, Bulgaria, Albania, Greece and Turkey in Europe. 3. Matthew 7:12. 4. Approximately 15 to 1. 5. Dionysius. 6. Acadia. 7. Furniture. ' 8. About 26 miles. Early Smoking When tobacco was first intro-duced in England during the l6th century, it was literally worth its weight in gold a pound of tobacco was commonly sold for an equal weight of silver and coins. The art of smoking was also re-garded most seriously, and it was considered a disgrace not to be able to inhale smoke through the nose. There were even professors of smoking who initiated beginners into the mysteries of inhaling and blowing smoke rings. Soldier Knew Not What He Was Dickering For We have heard a bit about the freedom .with which American sol-diers in India spend their money. Here is a story which well illus-trates the point: This doughboy, having hired a tonga (a light cart usually drawn by a pony or bul-lock) for a distance the ordinary fare for which would be half a rupee, magnanimously handed the driver a note. The man shook his head violent-ly and demanded 60. "No," said the American, ''that's enough. I shan't pay more." The Indian thereupon accepted the money and walked away, leav-ing the tonga and pony with the purchaser. Australian Flag . When the flag of Australia was designed in 1901, the artist sub-mitted two color versions, red and blue, for its very large field. Both were adopted and are still used, the red by the general public and the blue by the government, its various services and noncommer-cial organizations. |