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Show K a t h 1 e e n No rri s Says: Having a Man A found Bell Syndicate WNU Features. Fred took almost as much care of David ai I did. DIVORCE SEQUEL The woman over whose letter let-ter Miss Norris weaves this column has found a greater number of answers to divorce arid, as in a great number of the cases where man and wife split, her discoveries have been made after the estrangement. And it's usually a pretty bitter bit-ter sequel to those women who find themselves placed in 'a similar role. The realization of not knowing "when they were well off" torments them and brings them sharp recriminations recrim-inations over the slight frictions fric-tions that caused them to part. And there are the children. The divorcee suddenly finds that it was good having a man around. Not only for herself but for the children. And she also finds now that the. connubial con-nubial knot has been untied, that having had one around at one time is not a guarantee that she will acquire another quite as handily. Yes; if she had it to do over again, she would stick to hubby hub-by and the children. She knows now that despite the difficulty of marriage that it has its advantages. ad-vantages. That for a divorced woman to make it alone in the world is not always a bed of roses and that lonesomeness is a dreadful heartache. A an aftermath she discovers discov-ers that it was good to have had a man around. By KATHLEEN NORRIS " ""TERHAPS there are a H-'lot of wives like me," -L says a letter from Carol Jay in Germantown. "Or rather, like the wife I was for eleven years for I am di-. - vorced now. Fred and I were happy for a while; it gives"me a sharp heartache now to remember re-member our joy in our first little home and our new baby. Fred took almost as much rare of David as-1 did; we used to take him off on picnics, pic-nics, come home weary and bappy and all freshened up, put the baby to bed, and have a couple of friends come in or a pick-up supper and two rubbers of bridge. In those years we made quite a few little business trips together; loved the trains and the hotels. ho-tels. Fred's free time was always al-ways like a holiday, and getting get-ting back to little Davy's welcome wel-come the best of all. "About four years ago something began to go wrong.' Fred was away often In the evening. I resented it. My mother was living with us. He liked her and she liked him, but I knew she felt . that I spoiled him. tVe got into wordy spats; I couldn't telephone him in the old way and lay 'All clear?' because Mother aould then smile good-naturedly ind say "There you go again buckling under.' Friction Allowed to Pile Cp. "But that wasn't all, of course. We seemed to suffer from complete lack of sympathy. Little things began be-gan to jar on us terribly; we pulled apart. Whatever Fre'd- wanted to do . leemed to be the exact thing I didn't want to, do; whether, it was asking this- acquaintance or that to the bouse, using money for this purpose - or that, keeping some secret or makins some remark., rant MIL and say "How are you fixed for money, kid?'. I like to fuss over him when he feels sick, and have him fuss over me when I do. I like sharing David, buying presents for both my men at Christmas, planning plan-ning surprises and trips. A little loneliness as a wife is better than total loneliness, as an unattached fe male. A faulty human man, 27 per pent selfishness is better than, no man at all. Married Wnmnti Rotfor fiPP ,"My mother was living with a widowed sister at this time, and when quite suddenly Fred and I agreed to a divorce, David and I went there. David Js now eight, he adores his father I want him to. But his outbursts of affection and "The married woman, whatever her difficulties, has a definite advantage. advan-tage. The divorced ' woman is cut and humiliated in a thousand ways nobody suspects. 'There were faults on both sides,' society' says kindly, even if the husband beat her, starved her, and threw her into the street 'I'll get a nice man for you, honey,' says the hostess, with some infatuated married 'lad of 20 in mind, who will" talk all evening about his wife, now in the hospital having a baby. " "uW6t St " of " Tgll,"' " corrciudes- this' letter, "is the little loyal David; with his anxious, 'When's Dad coming home?' Am I to tell him that Daddy is a 'cruel stupid failure, or to shut up about Dad?" JSo the wpman who wrote this letter let-ter would perhaps give other wivea contemplating divorce the advice 1 always -do; the advice "Punch" gave in a single monosyllable tc the young man about to be married: mar-ried: "Don't" That was merely ir joke; we are in earnest. Nine timet I out of 'ten a woman- divorces foi imaginary" or easily curable troubles. trou-bles. Then she finds out what rea! trouble IS. admiration for his father sometimes I come at awkward moments, and my 1 sister and mother exchange scornful scorn-ful glances that sooner or later he'll understand. So I intend to get into quarters -of my own as soon as possible. pos-sible. But even that presents difficulties. diffi-culties. Fred wants David. "Fred has married again,' a nice enough woman ten years older than he who has two little girls; David loves to go there. Naturally things aren't as pleasant here, for my sister's sis-ter's boys are only five and three, '"and" IKe" "oTde'cbUsln" "tea's"ei's1",,tH'erri: " If I lose Fred's check for David's support' I will have to take a paying Job; my alimony is only $1,200 a year. "If I had It to do' over gain I'd stick with Fred. He has his, faults, God knows, but so have I. To have David happy, to have these financial and family difficulties settled, to have the taken-for-granted approval of my friends instead of their gently-critical gently-critical doubtfulness, would make thepin-prtcks of our- old disputes seem childish nonsense. . . ' "But more than that. I like to have a man around. I like his racket In the hall when he gets home at night. Mike him to pay my restaur "Its good to havt a man around.' ' ' |