Show kathleen norris N orris says old people are a problem sell nell syndicate features 4 qa sie she sas na to the children when we send then them in to call dont bother to come my dears Grand grandma rna knows you dont want to by KATHLEEN NORRIS LD PEOPLE ought to 0 OLD solve their own problems it is a great reflection on your intelligence if you have lived 60 or 70 years in this troubled world and even now J dont know what you want how you can manage or how to be happy being unhappy Is s a matter of intelligence and to be unhappy is to argue yourself stupid naturally there are times in all our lives when bereavement or mone money trouble or the actions or of those dear to us cause us deep concern I 1 im m not talking of 0 that sort ol of thing im talking of these old people who mourn and fret and complain and generally annoy the younger crowd and make themselves a burden tor for the last 20 years I 1 of their lives ves mary cutter for example at 74 Is strong as a horse and 9 good 0 d for or many more years mary w was as a loved wife raised three sons and a daughter saw them all nicely married when she was widowed and found her resources much reduced she proceeded to make ol of herself as much of a nuisance as a human being can she was stunned with grief when her children married tainted fainted at the church hated her son in law and in law violently she carried I 1 on when she had to sell the old home as if she had been turned into the street her stay at a nice quiet family hotel was one long groan the girls husbands got together and bought her a cottage she had loudly coveted for years they fur elsh ed it moved her in she thanked them half halfheartedly beart heartedly edly and began to find things wrong with the furnace window screens neigh boyhood and the earth in the gar aden den nothing pleases tier her now five years later she speaks bitterly of the children shunting her off into this dreadful little place and asserts that she has always hated it it she simply is doing everything she sh e can to ruin our lives writes he her r daughter she criticizes the childrens manners and the way we dress she says to them when we send them in to call dont bother to come my dears grandma knows you dont want to the worst of it Is this letter concludes my husbands mother Is a darling helpful and cheerful and adored by the children she and a friend keep a boardinghouse boarding house so theres no question of her living here but if we ask her to dinner once more than we do mother there Is trouble what can one do with a troublesome unhappy old lady who still sick enough for a sanitarium or poor enough for a home the ile answer Is nothing if all through the and the your mother getting ready tor for this time finding amusements and interests with which to flu fill it looking forward to the delights of grandchildren and to the serene ease from burden and responsibility that old age means nothing will change her I 1 would be very careful to put your husbands and your childrens interests first and to concede as little as possible to this twisted M 6 let them to lee s you are happy old woman for no matter what whai you do she will never be satisfied some years ago I 1 knew a couple who had a charming home down or on long island one summer they had an opportunity to go abroad and offered their home to a business friend two difficult old ladies the only thing our friend said in making this offer is that my wife cifes s mother lives with us and she wants to stay on in the h house use during the summer the other mans face fell im sorry he said it cant can be done you see we haa have an old lady of our own both these men knew that there was no chance that the old ladies would get together work out a con genial and perhaps even pleasant relationship no such hopel the see sec ond family had t to forego arego a chance tor for a coo cool I 1 beach summer and the first family had to seek out some 0 ther other solution for the old tyrants company why Is it old age must be so unreasonable exacting and unmanageable age able most old ladies ladles wire were nice women once loved wives and good mothers why cant they prepare in their minds all through the younger years ears tor for the inevitable changes and solitudes that are before them whether you marry or whether you dont you may some day be alone why deceive yourself with the idea that the youngsters want you in their lives that you have peculiar charms claims and rights that other old ladies remember what you thought 30 years ago of your husbands mother what they think of you today face it and if you can turn yourself into a cheerful occupied useful old woman too busy with her own interests to watch the clock and the calendar to make sure that the children are negle neglecting acting her the one gift you can give your children now and it is a great gift Is to let them see that you are happy |