Show kathleen norris says real women Turn Trials into lessons bell syndicate wim creatures rea tures R K 7 A 0 0 A 0 a 0 0 14 6 J DOUG I 1 aly mother in law speaks to my babies as though they ivere her own when heir doctor comes in she takes charge ol 01 him too but I 1 am never consulted by KATHLEEN NORRIS T RENE FOSTER has an ef focient fici ent affectionate well todo to do mother in law and she feels that she simply cant stand home conditions any longer yet there eire are many women who would change places for awhile anyway with irene my oldest little boy is 5 writes irene he was born when I 1 was just 19 the younger baby is only 7 months old I 1 was delicate tor for some time after robert junior was born and bob and I 1 stayed in his mothers home with her because it was comfortable economical and saved me all responsibility bonny as we call her Is 61 but very young and active tor for that age just listening to her sometimes tires me out bonny was widowed 20 years ago she likes to run ran things and she he runs us all I 1 have no more to say ray in this house than the baby has if I 1 ask the cook or the upstairs girl for anything they always refer me to madam bob was 38 and a bachelor when I 1 married him he has always lived here boother no other lother place he says would ever be like home his fathers books his mothers glass and china the old rugs and lamps and chairs are a part of his bis life but they arent part of mine and sometimes I 1 feel I 1 will suffocate if I 1 have to stay among them much longer bonny takes charge my babies live on the third floor with a little nurse of their own bonny speaks of them as though they were hers im going to have his tonsils out next winter and im not letting mollie take the baby out today at all it if the childrens doctor comes in he is her nephew by the way and she runs hirn him too I 1 may go upstairs with them and listen but im never consulted ile he tells her that little dicks formula might be changed and she tells tell mollie she treats me as though I 1 were a child bob she respects and consults but even bob win will tell her she Is a mule for determination she only laughs at him she calls after me to ask what coat I 1 am wearing reminds me of my engagement with the dentist tells me to ask jane or nancy to come to lunch I 1 cant ask anyone to the house without her permission and she will as likely say no not saturday as al that will be all right it if I 1 suggest to bob that he and I 1 give a dinner he be says fix it up with bonny darling and bonny may say 1 I cultivate those people dear sooner or later you s and nd bob will have to drop them thein the result of all this irene continues is that I 1 dont feel like a human being at all I 1 get up I 1 go through the day I 1 see my children when mollie and my mother in law are willing tor for me to see them I 1 dont have any duties except filling vases or driving down to get bob I 1 dont know coming on my own tab letor lefor dinner a sort of spell is over me an invisible cage and I 1 cant get out last week bonny went to visit her brother who is a detroit doctor at the last moment she decided to take my older son she stopped outside my door that morning and said to him run in and say goodby good by to Murn mummy that was the first I 1 knew of it I 1 let them go but when bob got home tor for lunch ident into hysterics and said a thousand things that have been bottled up in my heart tor for a long time he was wonderfully der fully kind but he treated it as a LIVE WITH IT an axiom axiom popular avi with t h young doctors is is live with wi t h your disease if you cant cure it learn to endure it that is is what kathleen norris urges irene foster to do not disease but kindness is is kill hill ng irene she is is being stifled by the unwanted kindness of an overly capable mother in inlaw but the treatment is is the same irene frene cant change the s situation tua tion but bu she can learn to make the best of it be sure to read this touching story of a girl with whom you perhaps would gladly change places I 1 childs child s outburst and told me that evening that I 1 t ever think of it again and that he t either smothering kindness I 1 said then that I 1 was going to find a house of my own and tor for two days I 1 did house hunt but we have no furniture no kitchenware or linen or curtains cm bains and it does look like a big job to start with nothing and also find some woman who will be part cook and part nurse bob t referred to the mat ter again I 1 am writing you to ask whether you think I 1 am justified in trying to break away from all this smothering kindness and service end and try to stand on my own feet as mistress of my own home irene my dear my advice would be that you abandon the idea of finding a real house with curtains and chairs and pots and pans in it and build instead the house of the mind and soul and live in that tor for awhile we all have to adothis do this if we are to grow up spiritually and mentally some women refuse and go on to years of loneliness and bewilderment wondering how and why they have missed everything worth while but real women turn their trials into lessons into tests of strength and endurance and finally into blessings must free difficulties whether it is poverty disappointment physical disability or as in your case the inflexible necessity of living with those who are not congenial who ho impose upon us and cripple us we must accept something difficult along with our dally daily bread if it Is not a husbands husband s faults and limitations it becomes the infinitely worse conditions that follow divorce it if it isn t an over officious mother in law its it s an idle useless one who never picks up her cigarette ends or remembers telephone messages or if it isa t either its it s very apt to be the third sort who pays no attention to her daughter inlaw in law but expects dear robbie to listen to her complaints every day most women have money shortage as a worry most husbands have the mismanagement or extravagance of wives to think about as they walk to the off office lice thousands of mothers today have deeper agonies of spirit to face the helpless longing that comes when the boys are tar far away and in danger this woman knows that deafness is coming upon her this other one knows that in her middle age she has lost her husbands husband s love and he wants to be free and many are alone living in boarding houses working hard tor for just enough shelter and food to keep life within them wondering why they live at all an axiom very popular with young doctors is live with your disease failing eyesight missing teeth certain chronic nerve and heart and kidney affection tor for which we have no cures simply must be faced and borne |