Show kathleen N norris orris says 6 are mothers always the best mothers bell syndicate service aw rv R some wives wives really ARE second mccond rate they really me are whining and stupid and unattractive and a man might reasonably turn from them to the friend m in whom h he finds sympathy and gentleness and affection by KATHLEEN NORRIS OMEN are much more W A generous to each other than they used to be the old catty femininity has gone pretty well out of fashion and still the very hardest thing for a woman to do is to admit that another woman is more attractive than she is you never hear a woman say well to tell you the truth she is really nicer than I 1 am she has be better t manners and more charm people like her better of course men dont admit this of other men either but I 1 am writing of women at the moment if a girl wins away another girls beau the s second girl never concedes that the first girl Is anything but designing and a flatterer and two laced faced and unscrupulous that Ls Is human nature unless we may console ourselves that the vampire Is a thoroughly unscrupulous creature we have to admit that we ourselves are rather second rate and yet some wives really ARE second rate they really are whiting and stupid and unattractive and a man might reasonably turn from them to the friend in whom he be finds sympathy and gentleness and affection just because a man marries a woman at 20 when she Is sweet and fresh and laughing and devot led to him bun and his plans mean that he is going to adore her 14 24 years later when she has lost ell all bloom and charm when her voice Is discontented and her housekeeping disgraceful i sallys problem the problem of the woman I 1 am going to call sally waters has something to do with this situation sally Is 37 now and hers is a real tragedy sadder adder perhaps even than death this Is part of the letter paul and I 1 were married when I 1 was 23 and he two years older I 1 had bad a good job teaching and for a year I 1 kept it then his anxiety tor a real home with a wile in it and a child persuaded me to stop work and a year later jean was born bom money was rather scarce at the time and the baby was delicate I 1 had a hard year or two when paul who never paid the slightest attention to the child or helped me in any way with the housework was wasting most of his evenings with a crowd at the club and coming home to 10 late that he was exhausted la in the mornings and was continually losing jobs when jean was two he suddenly discovered that he be adored his daughter but by that time I 1 was thoroughly discouraged I 1 was offered the job of house manager in a home tor for defective children at a good salary and paul and I 1 were divorced he went to live with his hi mother who came twice to me afterward to help her get him a job which I 1 gladly did the arrangement was that they should bave jean for two months a year pure g generosity on my part tor for I 1 could have asked different terms paul without a job and with a bad record of intemperance was not in a position to question anything at that time his father a most exacting invalid was living daughter wants to leave 1 1 I managed toy my job tind and tny my child keeping blittle a little girl to watch her in business hours and stealing every every minute I 1 could to io be witcher with her she grev grew oveler and 16 loveli eller erand ind at r about six her invalid grandfather y having died be began ganto to spend sherid surn bum 5 f iner bier vacations ioni with her grand moth er and lather father they fed her then naturally but I 1 clothed and educated her worried over her when she was now she Is 10 and she wants to live with her grandmother that is the long and the short of 0 it she loves her father he Is managing the small farm now and he be and her grandmother worship jean she wants to go to school with a little girl who lives near she wants to help granny cook and she and daddy manage everything and have so much fun 1 I admit that it is a more natural life for her than living in a sanitarium Itar lurn filled with detectives defectives and psychopaths psycho paths but what about me have I 1 no rights now that she 1 Is s a fine independent self reliant li little t tl e human being rather than an exacting and delicate baby Paul wants her of course A bitter blow the thought that she wanted to go to him was waa so bitter to me at first that I 1 could not conceal it from her she cried for days but when she finally gave in it was with the air of a martyr and she made no secret of the fact that her interest was out at the farm she telephoned her father every night and nothing that I 1 did or offered in the way of movies or new frocks interested her what shall I 1 do give up my child the very light of my life or keep her and trust that alter after a time the she will turn to me again we have most of our meals in the big dining room but I 1 have a nice suite of three rooms including a small kitchen where I 1 can arrange ari an ac occasional cas ional little feast for just the two of us we have many perquisites rent light service meals I 1 hot water linen but jean says lately that she hates the institution the wards and the smells odthe of the halls balls and elevators Is it fair that after ignoring his responsibility tor for her when she most needed him her father should have the pleasure of her company now his hill mother I 1 will say Is a wonderfully fine woman and I 1 am not surprised that jean adores granny granay perhaps it if 1 I had had bad grannys grandys Gr annys sheltered life and comfortable home I 1 might be the same sort of woman let jean go this la Is really a sad letter and a hard bard one to answer but I 1 think th that atthe the answer to Is that jean Is the person to consider and that her mothers best chance of winning the childs heart Is if to be generous now life with a loving father and wonderful grandmother on a farm li Is a childs ideal of perfect happiness especially when it is contrasted with the bleakness and bigness of institution life jean probably suffers from constant association with the defective and afflicted children and ft finds n ds the coziness of her grandmothers table delightful by comparison so I 1 would give her up if I 1 were sally as we all have to give up our chil children drin sooner or later and rejoice that so pleasant and safe a haven is ready for her in ii a world to in which so many hundreds of 61 children are are neither sate safe bor nor happy let that be the arrangement for the present sally but be very sure that the future holds changes that you cannot possibly anticipate |