Show kathleen norris says long engagements have their advantages too bell service af af our girls ol of 18 and our boys ol of 21 are bound to fall all in love by KATHLEEN NORRIS paper has the ta story of a boy of 21 and a girl of 19 who afford to get married and so decided to die the boy earn enough to sup aport ort a wife and the girl had to help elp out at home where she F had ad an invalided invalid ed father a hardworking hard working mother and a small brother the sympathetic press adds that here is one more tragedy of youth caught in to days tide of no job and no future jf if this girl and boy were the it w selfish young couple who rok k this course they be worth noticing put but there is a lot of this sort of thing there is a lot of self pity in youngsters who have caught up the modern jargon about conditions in america and aness iwho who use it to disguise weakness and inefficiency there are ALWAYS more than jobs in america and to say 1 I cant get a job means that there are persons in the land who can do what you cant do but that mean that in any land under tinder any conditions a boy of 21 can be started off 03 at employment that will support a wife and that ant n t n mean a that a girl whose 30 aribu tion to the home finances adly needed is free to get married free to start off with her boy husband on his 18 a week and have him burdened and worried and exhausted lose even that job in a few years when her second big fat hungry exacting baby is four months old flaming youth when our girls of 18 and our boys of 21 fall in love the immediate question of everyone conc concerned emed is and when is the wedding to be and the sooner it is the better satis fled are both they are burning up with young passion their first and foremost consideration is physical possession of each other and while her family borrows money for a modest wedding the boy rashly commits himself to a long lease on a an adorable d rable bungalow it they ecstatically scramble vally ally enchanted with the little rose bowl her chum gave her and the electric refrigerator for which they have to pay 11 a month it is au all such 11 kisses and laughter season the burned and the watery coffee on saturday and sunday nights the college crowd come in and smashed crackers and stepped on cheese and sticky glasses and overloaded over loaded ashtrays ash trays litter all four of the pretty little modern rooms baby brings care worry but it if a baby arrives at once then suddenly all glamour disappears marge and rob it if they are sweet natured fine persons may still love each other but it now becomes an anxious a wearied love the baby is a darling but the babas tience means th that atthe the old young pa ad timeshare times time sare are forever over milk for the baby someone to sir sit with the baby bills worries over the babas fever wakeful nights when the baby cries and when joe smith and mildred stop at the door with a car on a broiling hot sunday with talk of the beach and barbecue sandwiches marge and rob of course cant go 1 I leave the baby in the car mil i no I 1 suppose you you poor thing youl you I 1 no babies headache too off cojoe go joe and mildred and rob and marge turn mackto themore the morning papers again no hurry about beds or breakfast dish dishes esNow now while the baby is asleep they can take it easy nothing todo all day it if there are no babies curiously enough the situation is worse it doean doesn seem so at first marges mother says firmly no babies until you can afford them and robs mother warns warn s him that a baby would b be e a calamity they are tree free to go about with the old crowd insofar as they are able to afford it it and marie marge has nothing to 0 do when the simple housework is 0 ver over but to shop have her hair done fix flowers in vases but shopping is expensive lunches downtown with the girls cost money beauty parlors are ruinous to budgets me marge rge sees frocks and hats bats she wants and kitchen ware and a gorgeous bridge lamp also she hears the girls talking ol of the winter sports that weekend week end everyone Is to give connie 10 and con and fred win will manage everything ten dollars with robs bobs whole salary only seven times that every montal natures protective plan and the childless young marriage has an even deeper and much more serious handicap it is this the marital relation is a fragile and sacred thing its physical aspects inseparable from the more subtle elements of mind and soul uncontrolled mating would destroy even animals and animals are protected from it by nature herself mating seasons are arc interrupted by the oe long periods of bearing and rearing the young when human beings interrupt this process passion here called love soon burns itself out the immature boy and girl never trained tor for life at all not developed in re sources and interests and character tire of each other and the emotion that should extend itself through long and beautiful years that should be only a part of a thousand other balanced elements in married life is destroyed so what about the long engagement in italy and germany and england and france seven and eight and even ten years are not suppo supposed ged to be too long for or iman i aman man and a woman to maintain a dignified friendship before conditions permit them to marry certainly five years would not be tooling too tool long they must learn to control themselves in many ways it if they are to be happily married control extravagance laziness temper selfishness overindulgence over indulgence why not practice seu self control in the most important matter of sex sex seu belf control essential Thou thousands of fine men and women achieve continence even in marriage for one reason or another thousands of happily married folk efficient and successful in their lives know that that one thing will be always dented denied thern them why all this about the children not being able to wait of course able to wait it if properly trained to respect themselves and each other and to regard marriage as a state some day to be entered upon with reverence with an I 1 increased appreciation of its high privileges and an increased sense of its responsibilities to those who wait who study the duties and cares of marriage seriously riou sly who develop a fine and deep rooted friendship and a congeniality of taste while waiting marriage comes as an almost miraculous consummation of hope and desire and love the long anticipated home is a sacred place laneir community of tastes taste their memories of long planning make every hour together a fresh delight the man has completed his bis professional training the girl has discharged to the full her duty to her own people Th eyare a man and a women woman this husband and wife not a pair of passionate children statistics seem to indicate that one of our national dangers now is the young divorce more than half our divorces are of persons persona under 24 and two thirds of those after marriage periods of less than three years bears |