| Show 0 the honorable uncle e lancy by ETHEL HUESTON 0 bobbi co THE STORY THUS FAR FAB left on orphans h ans by a tragic automobile accident which claimed the lives of their mother arn that ather three sisters helen adele and lampy are visited by their anunti aunt 01 Olymp amp la a politically minded wife of 0 senator delaporte Slop shire she insists s 1 ais t that h at the girls return with her to washington tam to delarrea make ko t their helf home ith them in n addition to loving the girls aunt olympia knows it they aey will be a g r fie political asset senator Slop shire has as his political opponent t one brother wilkle i 1 a minister whose political campaign Is furthered b by seven unspeakable brats who sit on the rostrum with him while he makes speece speeches K es senator Slop shire a pleasantly foggy individual who depends on the astuteness tene of 0 his wife prepares rea to tor r their coming though lampy the youngest Is to 16 an and d helen the foldesi oldest crep Is 3 21 the senator buys them all the toys and gifts he can find nd when they first meet their uncle lancy 1 1 as he Is to be known the girls take him to their united bosom soon oon adele most m ss beautiful of the sisters meets len hardesty publicity man tor for brother wilkie though it Is lens lena job to help de defeat eat the senator he promptly taus falls in love with adele olympia buys an auto automobile ble I 1 house trailer chic which vorn wi will atly il accommodate 1 the five of them and from which the sena senator tor will campaign then s she ace cona decides to hire a publicity agent tor for the senator securing the services of 0 dave cooper and as his assistant young cecil dodd at a washington tea helen meets gage gabriel dAll dAllo olti gabriel then searches out olympia Olymp la and asks if he might call olympia acquiesces see thinking it might make helen forget her suitor back in iowa br brick c landals brick owner of a grocery store Is also running tor for congress CHAFER VI continued 8 the girls gasped cecil made fast notes with the senate pencil aunt olympia descended then from the plane piano of an interview to practical counsel at first cece better let ave read your stuff and make sug lf e s salons ve t on if he wants to you see e knows our constituency you can use the same ideas tor for different constituencies not always though and frequently they must be couched in different words for instance some words will delight a scandinavian or irish settlement which would grossly offend a ladies aid dave has the state mapped out and knows every prejudice in it you can work that out with him ive memorized the map said cecil that Is the regular map I 1 know the counties towns and rivers but theres nothing to indicate the prejudices Dave 11 indicate em said olympia now in writing about the girls cece remember to use only what we call innocent adjectives jec tives young simple girlish ingenuous ous not innocuous be careful about that quiet dignity is good and innocent youth and childish candor are effective if you absolutely have to mention beauty qualify it call it youthful beauty or girlish beauty but evoid id beauty if possible to the 1 leverage ive mind beauty goes with bathing contests and rich husbands in mentioning their clothes always call them simple girlish and inexpensive 11 they do not look inexpensive though he remarked being one who knew clothes considering the effect they are going to have at the polls they are cheap as dirt said aunt olympia never under any circumstances refer to elegance or luxury these belong to royalists never say lavish or costly or luxurious say homey comfort or companionable hominess by the way he inquired suddenly have you cautioned the girls about mentioning our plans to td well len hardesty you know what he can do with the most casual re ashe nark ark w she winked cheerfully at the spellbound girls we mentioned the campaign bothem to them be sure to get this in cece being entirely domestic and housewifely as I 1 am I 1 accompany the senator to take care of him to see that hei he eats properly cooked food at regular hours and gets sufficient clent rest we go only to look after his health his bis food and his comfort I 1 take care of his bis clothes make a rote note of that will you limpy lampy remind me to buya buy a needle and some darning daming cotton but we play no politics the voters of our state are not constituents to me they are dear old friends and neighbors better get that word for word cece you cant improve on it friends and neighbors neighbor sl 1 and when they know these precious children as we know them they will be their efam friends lends and neighbors too am I 1 sprouting a halo balo adele put in limpy neatly 1 I seem to be going angelic by the minute cece remind me to add a motorcycle escort to the cavalcade said aunt olympia reverting again to the practical well need him to carry the socks back and forth to hilda to rip out what I 1 put in im do you make speeches Aun auntie tle asked adele id love to hear you muke make a speech 11 ina no indeed declared mrs slop shire laughingly 11 1 I do not make speeches except perhaps privately to the senator no in deed no speeches all I 1 do is put pu a attle ginger in dels dont put that in cece although adele had heard cecilli hint about len hardesty without per hange change of expression without flick of long eyelash she did not forget it that night when they were all together at dinner he said cheer lully and yet with gravity darlings would it be better better politics I 1 mean me anfor for us to see no more of one len hardesty until after the election I 1 can get along without him you know and if it would be less dangerous it is quite all right with me aunt olympia spokesman for the senator as well as herself offered a prompt disclaimer not at ai au all adele its nice of you to make the offer but bt it is not necessary of course we may accidentally let something drop that he can pick up and if U he can he will but lens quite i a dropper him self and im no slouch at pickings up and if it len hanging around it would be somebody else and probably someone a good deal less interesting she frowned thoughtfully for a moment in fact the closer you keep him to your finger tips the less good hes doing brother wilkle and the less harm to us im not sure but you should marry him and put him into the discard once and tor for all and good riddance the senator was so touched at the generous thoughtfulness thoughtful nesa of adeles offer that hi he wiped his glasses one pair after the other tor for a solid hour and discontinued only when helen came in from the library to ask his help uncle laney lancy she said 1 I find im terribly vulnerable in my national defenses have to straighten me out just look at this map she s spread P read a relief map of north america on his knees and dropped on a stool beside him heavens helen have you gone back to geography said adele ill go back with you offered limpy quickly ill swap you my trig for your geog im very good at geography what do you have to do fill in rivers and mountains no said helen 1 I just have to build forts and guns and establish submarine bases and scrape up a few aerial bombers now look uncle lancy 1 this is the canadian border not a fortification tor for miles think of thail have the canadians declared war asked limpy no and we say they never will and probably they wont but not the half of it impose suppose great britain got messed up in europe say with russia that would keep her busy then suppose germany and italy got together and decided to colonize canada they could come galloping right over and england do a thing and there be right next to us and no defenses come over you helen I 1 thought you were a pacifist so I 1 am but I 1 have been talking to re they say you cant be peaceful without preparedness pa redness and just look at that tha canadian bordell bor derl all right look at the canadian border youre right its vulnerable agreed the senator smiling then take the mexican border A mexican invasion would start us all eating tamales famales and beans it asked limpy mexico herself invade said helen ah but suppose she had bad alliances strong alliances say with japan very vulnerable the mexican border is better defended than you realize said the senator we got all those forts and flying fields and military 1 camps down there just for the sake of the climate big cities are the vulnerable points tor for an enemy there are no very large cities down there and we have a scattering of defenses from the border northward said the senator becoming interested almost defensive and just look at our atlantic coastal helen was full of her subject disgraceful just look from way up here at the tip of maine clear down to Pan panama arnal I 1 and how much of a fleet have we got how many airplane bombers how many subs and dread and what else should one have why its an open temptation to the covetous like leaving pennies around in sight ol of little children who are wild about lollypops lolly pops you can join the red cross helen helca help said adele you can be a girl scout an and d coax undo uncle laney lancy to buy you a bow and arrow said limpy the trouble with people who go around talking about national defenses said uncle laney lancy pleasantly liking his attentive audience is that tor for the most part they dont know what they are talking about personally as you know helen 1 I while an ardent and consistent pacifist am in favor of a full defense program from bombs to bandages but that atlantic seaboard Is better defended than jou you think it 1st weve got a lot of very impressive works spread out along there they look like mere show places to the visiting tourist but theres more under the surface than shows on top you dont suppose the shipyards up in maine and new hampshire are undefended do you and in mary land and virginia you dont suppose boston is ls standing wide open do you the most doubting ol of thorn ases must realize that new york harbor has a gun or two tucked away somewhere and come on down the coastal heres washington I 1 doubt if even gerald nye would VO vote t e to destroy the defenses of washington but were not what some people call plain suckers at that said uncle laney lancy weve got strategic points fairly well taken care of and we weve ve got second and third thir thirland dand and fourth line defenses spread clear across the country we enough helen I 1 admit that were working at it though the trouble Is its not such hard work building up defenses as talking down the fanatics well im relieved said helen 1 I sure I 1 could sleep tonight of course im tor for peace myself not quite at any price perhaps but at any price within re reason a helen was having almost as busy a time as aunt olympia herself tor for she continued her pursuit of political enlightenment so avidly that lim py pys s logarithms were overlooked for days at a time dull teas deadly receptions luncheons congressional clubs she attended them assiduously she had to in order to help brick when the time came and how about this garden party at the british embassy aunt olympia demanded one day weve got to answer it do you want to go id love to said helen promptly I 1 invited asked adele jealously yes were all invited all right ill accept far you girls and len hardesty Bar desty taught we me that trick us if you really want to go a and nd decline for limpy aw uncle Lan lancel cyll walled wailed lim py ive never seen a lordt you haven tl he ejaculated well well think of that now no great shakes in my opinion but it if you want to see one go and take a good look dell protested aunt olympia why ashes a mere childe well a nice child he be insisted if a cat can look at a king I 1 reckon a ct child did a nice child can have a squint at a lord in the making theres nothing worldly about garden part parties les in my opinion its children given for garden parties said aunt olympia severely are worth the wages of a gardener tor for the ciga aciga rette ashes they keep off the rugs alone I 1 it was very nice helen wrote to brick la landals adis they served champagne punch under a marquee at one end of the garden and the refreshments a long way off at the other end under another aunt olympia said that was to make it harder and take longer for guests to go dashing back and forth con suming liquor and refreshments they served exquisite big strawberries and an american substitute for devonshire cream you know how limpy loves strawberries uncle laney lancy braved that formidable line of butlers three times to get extra portions for her he said she was entitled to still more under her quota because she drink champagne limpy said she think the ambassador was half as lordly looking as uncle laney lancy and he be wiped his glasses for ten minutes and the top of his bis head turned so pink that somebody as asked ked if he was sunburned he stopped the car on the way home and bought her six big boxes of strawberries and I 1 dare say shell sheh break out in a rash the invitation said from five to seven and exactly at seven the orchestra came out from behind the bushes and played god save the king and everybody stood up and the chairs just seemed to melt away out of sight and everybody went home limpy told aunt olympia she ought to try that way of getting rid of people at her parties when she invites them from five till seven for a dozen doen or more stick around till nine or ten and len hardesty go till he Is put out but aunt olympia said it work with americans said somebody would slip the orchestra leader a dollar to swing it and ill all start dancing and shed have them on her hands for breakfast adele complained that they did not serve nearly so much as at most ot of the embassy things the south african union tor for instance where it was a banquet as it always is at the siamese legation aunt olympia says its the law of compensation the smaller the nation the bigger the feed 1 I finally put gabriel dAl dAllo lotti to s shame hame on the pacifist question by proving that we are not as vulnerable as we look and sound uncle laney lancy pointed out all the hidden de tenses to me and I 1 made a lovely map of them im keeping it tor for you in case you go on national defense and oh brick you surprised at ed elcher eicher retiring from the race tor for congress after he had won in the primary and what a break for us iowa republicans public ans aunt adint olympia was furious she said in her opinion it was a congress mans christian duty to hang onto a good seat instead of chucking it to the wolves by wa wolves ives she means us B R iowa she wanted cl uncle lancy to call him up and give him a piece of her mindl on a morning in june the girls were amused to find aunt olympia sitting at her desk very red ot of face frowning intently at a thick pad of paper and chewing the rubber ot of a pencil with a long sharp point As they viat watched ched she bent forward smiling broadly and wrote st a few lines very fast when she had finished with a big black period she looked up at the girls with a slight smirk it cant be her expense account said limpy for even in a dumb thing like trig they figure things out in numbers its my speech said aunt olympia Olymp la obviously well pleased with what she had written your speech for the campaign she explained pla ined you 0 u know helen said limpy yours reproachfully that trigonometry of yours has got me clear oft off the english language what cosines and tangents do to a brilliant mind I 1 understood her trigonometric ally speaking to say she make speeches you understood me all right said aunt olympia Olymp la but there always comes a time quite late in the campaign I 1 select the time when the senator is delayed in an important conle conference rence perhaps with farley or maybe just a long dis tance call from the white house and just to fill in the gap till he comes I 1 arise and make a few extemporaneous remarks and |
