Show bu rs abi ild on ars faath r i itri adrid airl 0 act U st writers opinion Is that vows to keep faith and to be honest are all that may reasonably be exchanged at matrimonial altar by HELEN in the now new york world telegram mrs virginia cogswell announces that she Is disillusioned about men and marriage why she be she says sho she wants to terminate her seventh marriage to ta take koback lack your heart seven times Is a procedure monotonous enough to bore anyone while mrs Cog swells altitude Is not cot difficult to understand the contention remains that it sporting of her to tell girls dont marry I 1 not every one tries seven times without finding a satisfactory bus husband band by a little pre marital consideration a man and woman can often determine whether the chemical allure which drew them together has a chance for survival certainly no man and woman though their marriage score be seven times seven must continue the relationship when love hns has vanished and expected back ic tates of sound judgment good taste and health suggest that such people at least live apart first of all two enamored human beings should determine whether their affection fm each other Is teal eal or synthetic it Is best to fashion wedding garments only when love Is all wool a yard wide guaranteed not to shrink fade or run compatibility mental physical and spiritual 13 19 an important marital prerequisite people who have teen been reared with a common background who have a community of tastes and interests who have studied the same textbooks and found the same answers to their problems have a much better chance of success than those who represent different worlds adoration la Is a nice part of love but when there Is nothing but a tender emotion it Is surprising liow how quickly small differences can toughen it two people who believe that they can follow their own interests apart from the affection bestowed on each other soon find that the moments of worship in each others presence have lost their savor anybody can worship a lioney honey colored idol on it a shelf or admire a colored glass window in it a cathedral but when you marry you must observe e that the object of your devotion cant sit forever on a pedestal probably the greatest mistake that people make Is to take the marriage ceremony literally two people promise to love cherish and protect ench other until death parts them the first vow should be cut no one can promise to love anyone else forever wo we can promise to keep falth faith to be honest and honorable to cherish our affection to guard it and nurture it but if it passes with the spring or summer pummer all we can do Is surrender with grace we cannot bank on finality ln in any human relationship the bible which says that two people shall become one flesh makes no mention of one heart or one soul after nil all marriage cant succeed if love Is held with bonds it has to be a voluntary offering we cant restrain the wind the tide the rain the spring or love love most of all it comes and goes at the givers bidding but love Is not as variable a quality as we may suppose from this freedom of disposal when two peoples hearts click and those two are understanding and compatible and respect each others freedom as individuals vi the chances are that love will last A marriage built on a cornerstone of possessiveness may topple in the first high wind but one erected on falth faith and trust will stand although the waters rise the winds blow and the storms come the last few years of economic sacrifice and struggle have taught youth and youths parents too that it Is considerably more important for two people to be able to laugh together weep together and plan together thau than to have frosted rolls in the cupboard and several cars in the garage marriage has to be woven from spiritual stuff rather than material or it will fall down seven times out of leveni seven I 1 love in brief cant be put on an a mercenary standard it requires respect more than adulation if having come to marriage prepared mrs cogswell Cogs weli found unhappiness in seven instances fate has played her a distinctly raw deal we dont blame her at all for warning other women against the glorified state but it Is nice to know that most people have had better luckl luck I 1 |