Show aou about t self leaders ANTA MONICA CALM CALIF 1 IS SANTA only eight years ago bishop cannon sat in high state at houston i wringing the last drop 0 of moisture out of a bone dry plank in the democratic doctrine so al smith the wettest of the wets would have something congenial and appropriate to run on in the opposition camp the politico financial high god to whose lightest word all present responded with halls hails anil and hallelujahs was banker charles mitchell today it if either of 0 these gentlemen in seated himself into a national convention of hla his party hed be arrested for trespass four years ago mr el e a r a t was moving leaven heaven and earth and tack lack garner to nomi irvin irvinS S cobb nate date F D roosevelt in whom he reposed everlasting faith and the republican old guard was explaining pla ining that when its candidate had promised two cars in every garage he figure that for either car be a deputy sheriff with a writ all of which proves our anointed leaders are not only courageous but consistent well lets see what the boys will promise us this year in those fictional whimsicalities called platforms first american families Fa millet VVE been skirting the sunbaked sun baked WEVE domains of one sizable group of ear early ay american families who dont care chos been nominated at cleveland or be nominated at philadelphia elphis no matter which side wins these folks still will furnish the raw material upon which blithe amateurs of tile the indian bureau work weird experiments in the name of civilization nothing worse can happen to them than already has been wrought by well meaning meddlers peddlers medd lers and earnest under this administration or that for instance trying to make farmers out of apaches a task akin to training caged hen hawks to imitate cuckoo clocks of course should their reservations by some miracle prove productive the white man will crowd them over into a remoter remoler thirst blasted area where a horned toad would have to go on relief or else starve to death the vanishing american cant complain that weve ever failed to expedite bis big vanishing act for him 0 0 0 beating the welkin irhe THE poor old welkin certainly took L an awful beating at cleveland it and just about the time tile the new skin forms rip it all over again at philadelphia language Is to a national convention what yelping Is to a coon dog trailing its a fine personal advertisement for the dog and mean anything either way to the coon the old superstition that the republicans always pick their candidate at 2 a m in a smoke filled room come true think the bosses would emerge from the session looking like so many hickory cured hams bams when you hear people tell of 0 the old times ill bet the G 0 P boys kept a window open to clear the air it lit might glit also have come la in handy for chucking senator koran borah out of but when the credentials committee afat at to hear the contesting delegations from the deep dark south when see what properly might be called a smoke filled room defying the congress years ago dishop bishop cannon the famous virginia Virgin la smooth bore invited a senatorial investigation committee to go jump off the washington monument perhaps they jump off the monument which caused regret to some but it was the best offer they had all season this year doctor townsend who lost a cent by being the head he ad of the townsend plan tells an investigating committee of the house to ki kiss Qs Ms his toot foot they never punished the bishop for contempt although they sputtered like a bunch ot of damp firecrackers fire crackers nerea heres laying a little eight to five never punish the doe doc either hell go merrily on with the ever popular idea that it there a pot of gold at the foot of the rainbow the go government should supply same without any more of this shilly next nest to the league of nations nothing seems to make so much noise and accomplish so little as a defied congress unless it Is some fellow playing a slide trombone into an empty barrel IRVIN S COBB 0 Ber service vica |