Show SM what 0 05 1 thinks cob b about 1 l A political bystander CALIF if I 1 I 1 were a republican orator id say the democrats need a keynoter at their convention when a hog caller would be more suitable if on the other hand ita n d I 1 were a democratic id say gay the republicans needed no DO campaign committee whereas a set of pallbearers pall bearers would be highly appropriate prop As a republican spellbinder id proclaim we were giving puerto rico tour four years tn in which gradually to cut loose from us because should the democratic outfit win in november by the end of those four years the puerto rl III cans will be used to having some independence pen dence and well be used to having baving none at till all As a democratic champion id irvin S cobb come right back by pointing out that since puerto rico would starve to death anyhow under a republican administration congress mercifully was taking steps to let the people down there get accustomed by degrees to the starvation process As an innocent bystander though about all I 1 can say Is that once the nominations have been made its a safe prediction that this summer will be fair and warmer meandering revenue program Tc FIE IB members of the senate finance committee ommIttee poor things I 1 seem to be goin going forward with the new re revenue v program the same way a ian land d crab makes headway by traveling backward at last accounts they were so snarled up in figures and language that any minute the rescue party was expected to rush in with bush books and chop them loose however Ho weNer out of the epileptic seizure into which these unfortunate patriots have been enmeshed one concrete tact fact has emerged there will be a sll slight ht exemption of dues on the profits of corporations making less than a year this will be a great boon tor for trunk stores down by the depot brokerage firms handling secondhand second hand railroad tunnels and dealers in brazilian butterflies new socialist argument THE trouble with being a socialist Is L that no matter what you start to debate you always wind up on the ton tom mooney case or at least such was the situation until recently now for any socialistic argument on any subject from german measles to the great wall of china there is a new dew climax the tenants of a bronx apartment house mostly radicals held a meting and la in accordance with the best rad radical traditions drew up resolutions demanding that the management do this and that having read the flery fiery protest the superintendent addressed the gathering now aboudy not ledding nobody ban hang out bashing in the hallways reasonable I 1 start beginning that reform right away und RS as to keeping off the front fire escape vell veil vy bodt but say vot do you suckers ux hect me do aboudy the scottsboro Scott boys sauce for th the goose WHEN a bricklayer feels upset and licks ills his wife temper and be gets 30 or 30 days dut but when a flicker star goes on a similar tantrum and wrecks an expensive set artistic temperament and the studio gives her some silver fox furs to calm her nerves thus it goes if a couple in say peoria break up why then a couple in peoria have broken up but it the same thing occurs in hollywood it invariably Is featured as a nuptial rift A lad ad la in kansas takes ills his girl to ye ie olde new era eatery for dinner and what with the blue plate specials and the up tip the transaction amounts to but otherwise creates no do special excitement either locally or throughout the nation let the same thin thing happen to a couple of the least conspicuous of the movie colony and 20 1 10 columnists fight their way to the wire to scatter the thrilling tidings 0 4 0 choosing a new buddha 11 FROM it ROIL the forbidden kingdom of tibet although goodness knows they never had bad any trouble keeping me out comes word that after a two t wo years search a new living buddha has been discovered however we already have our own grand lammer the name being toe joe louis the news from lhasa should give encouragement to the poor unhappy congressional committeemen who are prominently connected with the townsend plan condescend to talk to them you tou may quarrel with the town tes bookkeeping with their way of handling the contributed dimes of 0 thousands of trusting oldsters with their failure to explain where going to get the billions to pay those gaudy pensions or how the provisions of the distribution are to be enforced but at least the leaders are too proud to endanger their social positions by being caught chit chatting wit with h a lot of congressmen IRVIN S COBB copyright se service Q |