Show FABLES IN SLANG 0 bell Syn diesto by GEORGE ADE gem doe ja 7 few else C a pow 0 Meme A successful comic THREE DRAMATIC CRITICS ANY years ago when morning M MANY papers were still published in the morning and the oyster stew could be had for or 25 cents there lived on a crowded street la in one of our growing cities three urchins bearing the names of 0 patsy doremus and filmore all had received a liberal education at an early age and could whistle through their teeth without the aid of the fingers whenever this trio could muster enough ot of the needful they would pool their interests and buy seats la in the gallery for they were keen devotees of the thespian art in those palmy days when every good play had about eight gallons of blood in it they idolized the hero hera whose shirt was open in front when he drew his trusty rifle and severed the rope just as the outlaw gang was about to hang hank the trapper to the blasted oak they whooped and yelled they were partial to the low comic in plaid clothes who stepped out from behind a painted rock at the critical moment and flashed his 44 and said no you dont 1 likewise the kittenish soubrette with the oakum wig and the pallid heroine who got all of the dirty deals up to that supreme moment in act V when tile the stage father with flour on its his hair flair said officer do your duty I 1 and a stage hand wearing loose whiskers entered at RI III and put the nippers on the villain with the cape coat more afore than anything else they loved the sentimental song which went over so big in the preceding century the typical ballad was like the drip of honey or the smell of perfumery it was rendered by soft shoe lotharius lotharios Loth Lot arios harlos who were always referring to some loved one who was reposing in a bower of roses listening to a nightingale which unquestionably would be the acme of bliss PATSY THE BUDDING GENIUS of all the stars who twinkled in those happy bygone by gone days tile the one that they were especially nuts about was our old friend billy emerson lie ile had a silvery tenor and aery nove move was a picture often the three youngsters would try to imitate some of tile footlight favorites and especially that hat super es sence of black face refinement mr emerson doremus was absolutely NG ile he had a voice like a tree toad and both of his fact were lefts Fl ilmore was likewise a blah but when it came to neat hoofing boofing the one named patsy mink was the tow tom cats kitten lie he was there with everything ile he could do a glide on a wooden sidewalk without missing a ilent beat and finish in the attitude of picking a flower with fill the lie right night hand fland while the lie left rested lightly on his hip and all tile the envious rivals had find to admit that lie he was it patsy had theater written all over him right from the jump when tie he was 14 lie he began to carry a paste bucket and extra bithos for the popular price temple of amusement known ns As tile the bijou and pronounced byjoe by ily joe joc no longer did the grammar school have any charms for him ile he began to associate with stage hands and was permitted to help ficia with tile the props and go on as an extra in mob scenes nothing on earth smelled led fig as good to him as grease paint faint anti anil lie he never saw a real trouper taking a flow bow that he say to himself if I 1 had a chanat I 1 could show up that ham so it will be understood that ile he was getting ready to be a regular actor it was a proud night when lie he went on and did a bit in tile staged by the celebrated knockabouts Knock billed ns as lennox and mack tie ile deemed it an honor to be tilt hit with a bladder by such high class performers ills Is professional debut was wade made doubly important by the fact that filmore linore FI and doremus were looking down at him from the fifteen cent seats not long after that he had bad his big name put on a trunk and the team of mooney and slink began to play the ilonka touts when they were pot resting vaudeville was still known as variety and the headliners Head liners did not wear slik silk lined evening clothes in conjunction with white spats to be a successful comic one had to do head spins and be hit on the bean with an axe and the artist who could not make himself heard above the walters who were ordering two scuttles and a snit stood a likely chance of getting the air after the first show HE ACQUIRES A dependable BLONDE it was not long before mr mink was an adept at all forms of brutality could do any of the steps originated by delahanty and li hengler engler and was dun and bradstreet on hokum gravy and surefire stuff at that time every booking agent carried his bis office in his hat and the ghost often failed to walk but the boys who could make good in the beer gardens received a training which cannot be acquired in any school of dramatic art in billing themselves at the dumps the hardworking hard working duo often used one sheets which originally had been printed for booth and barrett they joined out one summer with a circus and sometimes gave eight shows flows a day at a museum the salary for the act was whatever they could get and they lived at motels hotels which have any windows but which permitted guests to do their own cooking all of the jumps were made mada in day conches coaches it was wag a hard life but fortunately there was a free lunch in every block just as the sketch was getting into halls falls which did not have any sawdust on the floor the half known as nooney mooney began a sincere attempt to consume all of the hard stuff being made at peoria ill and the specialty was a flop both in chicago and milwaukee so mink tied a can to the bar fly and took his life in his hands by trying to do a single turn in one at an amusement park in st louis ile he went off every night without a hand so he got busy and do dug up a dependable blonde who could do straight for him and was satisfied to be a feeder and had a set of pipes that made you think of melba after that the letterhead letter head was mink and madeline guaranteed to be good dressers on and off the act was a riot to avoid entanglements entangle ments regarding a split salary patsy married the song bird and after they joined tile the hoopla hoop la Burly cue outfit he saw the inside of a dining car for the first time after one season ou on the lie wheel they were too classy for anything except the continuous they cut out everything thin that was blue and began to cater to the family trade at first the they y had to waste their good stuff on a lot of empty benches during the supper show but patsy now known ns as herbert mink began to write their own songs and had a special drop painted and put pot the bank roll into a set of costumes for madeline who now looked 15 35 jears cars younger than she did when lien lie he wet her in st louls louis and the big time office simply had to pay some attention to the feature now they get a hand when they come on lilt and even on a rainy afternoon when the customers are nursing wet et umbrellas alipy are good for three flows bows if they get a bunch of live ones in front they way may stop tile the show during the layoff lay off olt they go to a shack at they the seashore sea shore lie he owns own 9 a cut cat boat and she Is interested in 13 boston 0 a terriers it shows you what may be a accomplished by an american youth if he does not compromise with his ideals some one may ask what became of doremus and Fl alimore imore who were unable to master the dance steps doremus owns a large steam laundry which does hand work it if desired and filmore Is under indictment la in texas for selling phoney oil stock MORAL young people were being uplifted ion long before the movies came |