Show ws A few little 0 es SMUGGLER with a portfolio under his arm a diplomat passing through the customs at dover endeavored t to 0 walk past the official excuse me sir said the officer respectfully but have you declared that case no was the reply im traveling ing under diplomatic privileges and these are important dispatches well answered the customs officer the neck of one of your dispatches is sticking out of the case good guess did you go to the doctor the other day john yes I 1 did and did he find out what you had very nearly what do you mean very nearly 11 well I 1 had and he charged me words of 0 action which is the better inquired the young patriot to le be a silver tongued orator or a practical politician ti it depends answered senator sorghum on your personal ambitions some people desire the last word and others are concerned solely about the first ballot it matter say what do you call this demanded the petulant customer of the waitress Is it beef or mutton cant you tell she asked no I 1 cant well then said the waitress why worry about it MODERN VERSION i Z 5 0 i M actor the next line is A horse A horse my kingdom for a 2 horse manager but my dear fellow that will scarcely be understood in in this day make it an automobile too many bites benevolent old man dont you th think ink fishing is a cruel sport angler I 1 certainly do ive been sitting here five hours and never had a single bite and ive got three wasp stings im eaten up with flies fles and the suns taken all the skin off the back of my neck operation cooperation co A parent recently had occasion to punish his six year old son that night he overheard the youngster saying his prayers please lord make me a good boy pleaded the child 1 I asked you yesterday but I 1 guess you overlooked it poor pa tommy mummy if someone broke the flower vase what would you do mother I 1 would spank him and put him to bed tommy well roll up your sleeves slee yes father did it the little less anxious sportsman who I 1 thinks binks he has backed a winner eid did you send end off that wire in time village postmistress yes sir but the money was a penny short so I 1 left outtie out the name odthe of the horse TEACH HIM A LESSON 1 I dont know what to do ath that boy of mine lie he wont go to school he wont work and hes always asking me for money why dont you get him a job as collector for an in installment s tall ment house oxygen the teach teacher or of a chemistry class asked for what purpose do automobile s shops hi aps ops use oxygen for the carburetors tors to breathe a pupil responded just a guessing game gam jones well how do you ad find married life bones great fl fun il my wife cooks arid and I 1 guess what the dish is I 1 montreal star |