Show A few F ew Q a little miles es 1 ael y 1 j j SMUGGLER with a portfolio under his ar arm M a diplomat passing through the customs at dover endea endeavored endeavor voi ed to walk past the boffl official cial excuse me sir said the officer respectfully but have you declared that case no was the reply im traveling under diplomatic privileges and these are important dispatches well answered the customs officer the neck of one of your dispatches is sticking out of the case good guess did you go to the doctor the other day john yes I 1 did and did he find out what you had very nearly what do you mean very nearly well I 1 had 5 00 and he charged me words of action which is the better inquired the young patriot to be a silver tongued orator or a practical poll politician ti cian it depends answered senator sorghum on your personal ambitions some people desire the last word and others are concerned solely about the first ballot it matter say what do you call this demanded the petulant customer of the waitress Is it beef or mutton cant you tell she asked no I 1 canal well then said the waitress hy worry about it MODERN VERSION 1 C 4 actor the next line is A horse A horse my kingdom for a horse manager but my dear fellow that will scarcely be understood dundei stood in this day make it an automobile too many bites benevolent old man dont you think fishing is a cruel sport angler I 1 certainly do ive been sitting here five hours and never had a single bite and ive got three wasp stings im eaten up with flies and the suns taken all the skin off the back of my neck co operation cooperation A parent recently had occasion to punish his six year old son that night he overheard the youngster saying his prayers please lord make me a good boy pleaded the child 1 I asked you yesterday but I 1 guess you overlooked it I 1 poor pa tommy mummy if someone broke the flower vase what would you do mother I 1 would spank him and put him to bed tommy well roll up your sleeves father did it the little less anxious sportsman who thinks he has backed a winner did you send off that wire in time village postmistress yes sir but the money was a penny short so I 1 left eft out the name of the horse TEACH kiili A LESSON N 1 I dont know what to do that boy of mine he wont go to school he wont work and hes al ways asking me for money why dont you get him a job as collector for an installment house oxygen the teacher of a chemistry class asked k foichat for Foi what pur purpose dosedo shops use oxygen for the carburetors tors to breathe a pupil responded just a guessing game jones well how do you find married life bones great funi my wife cooks and I 1 guess what the dish I 1 montreal star berf |