Show V ara HERI ir aee ae AG E service 0 B loseth joseph mccord CHAPTER XIII continued 14 did this kelsey question you about your mother farwell asked then its something about my mother about all of us dale our day of reckoning hearts of men are as nothing the old familiar fervor touched his voice vanished souls are in the balance now no souls I 1 say are you listening yes when I 1 left the seminary I 1 supplied the pulpit of our church in a small oregon town middleton it was your mothers home from childhood her father was d dead cad some of this you know elaine and your grandmother were alone you have told me that A respectful ful impatience marked the words and I 1 have tried to have you know elaine As she was then very young and very beautiful scarcely more than a child fragile I 1 am wondering if I 1 can make you understand what I 1 was how bleak my early life had been those harsh experiences softened only by my faith in god it drove me I 1 was zealous intolerant I 1 fancied myself another saint paul called to persecute before these past few days I 1 doubt if you could have understood der stood how I 1 came to love elaine or rather how she could have loved such a man as myself dales thoughts had turned swift ly to lee 1 I know he said simply 1 I think you do now and I 1 did love her it was the same fierceness that characterized my every desire I 1 brushed aside her every everli doubt I 1 was convinced our union was desired by god and I 1 forced her to see it although she was promised to another dale the mans name was kelsey wade kelsey 1 I told you I 1 never had seen this man I 1 believe that is true he meant nothing to me saved save that he stood in the way of an ordained plan I 1 recall that he was an engineer then stationed in middleton elaine consented to our marriage when I 1 was given my first regular appointment I 1 took her out of the only home she ever had known hundreds of miles away among strangers but she was happy dale interjected defensively again it was lee some flowers do not bear transplanting I 1 may not spare myself if you are to understand I 1 bruised her with my relent relentless les s efforts elaine tried pitifully god knows so do I 1 now she wanted to conform to ml my y pattern of life the tragedy of all was my own blindness I 1 failed her and she never knew 11 what are you trying to say the boyish voice could not conceal its anguish that I 1 saw when it was too late how lonely and frightened she must have been I 1 was obliged to leave home for a few days I 1 told elaine that I 1 would expect her to conduct the weekly prayer service it seemed a trivial thing she shrank from the idea in terror I 1 would not listen tt it was the simple duty of a pastors wife I 1 chided her for want of faith for giving way to her nerves it was the culmination for her everything must have toppled what did my mother do dales fingers slowly relaxed their hold his hand fell to the bed she was gone when I 1 came home there was a note she had failed me so she said my life and work were all that mattered she was doing it for me me go on even then I 1 did not believe the truth I 1 went to your grandmothers at once I 1 kept telling myself elaine would be there that a moment of panic had driven her home mrs cameron could tell me nothing we searched oh yes we searched days dragged by months I 1 never saw her again you mean she kelsey dale forced the words from his stiff lips wait farwell lifted a hand in weary protest you must let me teu tell you as I 1 can I 1 paid for it with my soul it is a dreadful thing for a man to lose his soul dale my conscience drove me out of my church and away from my god the conviction that I 1 was to preach was inborn there was my father his father I 1 threw all that aside and lived because I 1 was afraid to die I 1 worked with my brain and my hands trying to forget I 1 failed in everything A cain now always in flight dale sat motionless listening someone passed the house whistling carelessly A hollow thump against the front door the evening paper from the city and here in this upper room the world had come to a standstill jonathan farwells farrells Far wells voice again pitched in that unbearable monotone it was in the fall of 1914 that a solution came to me thousands were meeting death in the war I 1 crossed into canada and enlisted with a contingent training for overseas I 1 had no intention of coming back there is not much more I 1 was in battle many times I 1 wanted to be among those I 1 saw falling failing on every hand but god would not let me join their company and somewhere in all that ruck of blood and filth I 1 I 1 found my soul I 1 owe it to pink so he knows dale muttered yes lie he knows everything when death walks with men by day and night all human values shrink men alen know each other for what they are I 1 may not tell you of pink save that his small body shelters a heart whose equal I 1 never have found in another you are to believe that some day you will realize my debt there farwell rose to his feet with seeming difficulty and moved to the table where he stood supporting his weight on his hands when I 1 returned from france I 1 knew that my only salvation was in a life devoted once more to the church I 1 sought out 11 nol no I 1 there was a ring of desperation pe ration in dales voice he left an instant against his cheek check very gently he laid it on the shelf he left the room walking quietly this time he sought the rear stairway kid wait a minute there was pink barring the outer door of the kitchen with his small frame deep shadows filled the room get out of the way dont be like that kid I 1 know where you goin anywhere pink followed dale as far as the back porch and watched him hurry swiftly through the dusk he made his way back into the darkened house with a heavy heart then he stepped into the parlor and listened attentively from overhead came the sound of footfalls pacing back and forth an hour later pink was in the kitchen adjusting his tie before a small mirror he had changed into his checked suit and the ceremonial derby was on the back of his head 1 I aint a goin to get thanked none for this either he muttered to his reflection lee brady sat alone in the swing biving that hung in a shadowy corner of the front porch when her vigil was rewarded by the sound of ap 74 4 1 41 vw 1 4 ot 1 0 t lax af r 1 az a tough one admitted morosely the bed in his turn to stand at farwells farrells Far wells back lets get this done where where did you find me your grandmother was caring for you my mother had found rest dale she left you to me kelsey brought her home jonathan farwell faced about with an effort his head came up as he met dales gaze unflinchingly say what you will we are men 1 I am trying to make myself think of you dale said slowly 1 I want to remember all that you have done for me everything is gone now dont say that I 1 do not wish you to think of me I 1 killed the one great love of my life lived in the hell from which I 1 have warned others there was but one possible atonement cant you see that you are all that I 1 have left of elaine your life is all ahead of you yes A nobody dale choked on the word and youve let me go on and on 1 I thought perhaps god was giving me a chance I 1 always was fearful of this day but years passed nothing came out of the void I 1 might have known god never forgets but you would have dale exclaimed harshly cant you see what youve let me do to to somebody I 1 can take it but lee he made an effort to control himself 1 I think there is only one thing I 1 would ever ver like to know from you dales voice was curiously calm you have let me live a lie why did you try so hard to make me believe that my mother H he e could not finish it because your mother was good dale the sin was mine never hers wait where are you going 1 I dont know dale flung himself out of the study the door closed behind him with a crash A few strides took him into his own room where he paused looking about with a vacant stare as if he had found him self in a strange place his eyes fell upon the picture ot of his mother hanging in the chimney niche very slowly he approached the onetime one time shrine detached the photograph from the wall held it clenched in his two hands A sudden wrench and the frame was pulled apart its glass fell and shattered on the bare floor boards dale took one lingering look at the portrait lifted it and held it for pro preaching aching steps from the street she hurried forward with a low word of greeting halted in confusion A small man stood below her hat in hand oh mr wont you come up I 1 was expecting dale Is did he send me a message nom he pink ascended the steps and glanced about uncertainly 1 I want to talk to you a minute you see miss lee I 1 dont know you so very good but you always struck me as bein pretty square of course im wise to you and the kid im the first one he spilled it to youre pretty strong for him too im wondering just how much do for him if he was in a jam Is dale in trouble oh please tell me what it is pink fraid he is the kids goin to try and kill me when he finds I 1 come here but got to do so methin for him and youre the only one I 1 know who can bring him around you can tell me pink there is nothing in the world I 1 do for dale well then miss lee im a lot aldern you its a queer world look at it any way you want to did you ever stop to figure that when a guy climbs through the ropes he well he dont have such a hell of a lot to say about it he goes to his corner and waits for the gong sometimes just sometimes I 1 say the match is fixed ahead of time wonder if you get that 11 you mean lee hazarded in a low voice that something happened to dale something that his fault at all yeah his bout was fixed it 1 I I 1 think I 1 know what youre trying to tell me pink lee said after a little im thinking of dale nothing else matters you mean it miss lee you mean you stick by what you said about doin anything for the kid yes pink anything gandl excuse me miss lee youre awful white about it I 1 know what sent the kid down for the count today he was think in about you what it was goin to do to you I 1 know that same as if hed told me what can we do pink you and I 1 lee asked soberly a tough one admitted morosely 1 I can cant t drag the dominie into this so much you see he told me the whole thing a long time ago you gotta take my word for it he had his reasons for never tellin the kid until today you see well the kid is tellin the dominie all about his new job when he gets around to sayin the name of the boss never mind pink I 1 can guess youre one ahead of me all the time can you beat that one twenty years and never a word of the guy and then right out of a clear sky like I 1 said worsen a story book where is dale cant say for sure he walked out I 1 tried to stop him it goulda meant a fight I 1 have the heart to smear him maybe I 1 should at that but suppose he come back pink he told me all about his mother I 1 know as well as you do what this is doing to him we must help him I 1 we must find him I 1 and you dont know where he is 21 n maybe I 1 dont but it dont stop M me e from havin a good guess if you say you want him ill dig him up a promise miss lee oh is ito it pink ill wait until tomorrow you wont fail me not a chance not a chance CHAPTER XIV dale pushed on his torturing reflections did not drive him as far afield as pink suspected he made his way out over a road that passed a woodland patch not far from the town limit it was dark among the trees gratefully dark there was nearness of rain in the unseasonable warmth dale vaulted a fence and stumbled through the crackling underbrush heedless of briars that caught and tore at his knees in passing when he found himself in a small clearing safe from the prying gleam of hurrying car lamps he flung himself to the ground under a tree alone at last with his seething thoughts so far there had been only the wild urge to escape from everything everybody A vague realization that he must give battle to life reach a decision of sort but his brain refused to function he crouched alone in a mad upside down world hands clenched in anguish host to a stormy panorama of distorted images TO BE CONTINUED CO rimmed riM JED |