Show what coo b 5 coi t chinks about poor los revival Ke vival CANTA ANTA MONICA CALIF S J despite the blessings of 0 civilization which we have bestowed upon them including diseases whisky soda pop and 2 overalls the american indians are inar increasing casing this should give our red brothers cause for worry suppose they got so BO numerous that we gave this country back to them I 1 already we are in indebted to these original inhabitants for quinine cocaine c cotton 0 t t 0 n chocolate tobacco corn beans sq squashes bashes pumpkins grapefruit huckleberries huckle buckle berries and hundreds of other remedial drugs irvin cobb or foodstuffs moreover an eminent authority says the curative methods of the old medicine cine man had values which in many respects excelled what the white man has produced and suggests our scientists might well adopt certain aspects of the aborigines plan what if we did that very thing and then by the way of exchange invited the tribesmen to take over such trifling problems as an unbalanced budget our european debts sit down strikes and the younger generation era tion cleaning u up the stage H I 1 lost their licenses four teen burlesque houses in new york wont ever get them back if the officials keep their word about it with this example to go by authorities ties might next try the idea of cleaning up the ae legitimate intimate stage there the spawning place and breeding ground of shows which filthy lines and filthier scenes are freely offered to popeyed pop eyed audiences recruited from what we call our best families poisoning the moral atmosphere of the theater appears to be the favorite sport of a new school of dramatists who when they were little boys had their mouths washed out with soap for using dirty words yet never got over the habit 0 0 the rate fate of beauty queens JUST as the weather gets warm so the contestants wont catch anything worse than sunburn that outbreak of annual monotony known as the beauty contest will stir the populace to heights of the utmost indifference there will be no dress rehearsals hear beforehand with beauty contests its the other way around and then when miss cherokee S tripp or miss clear view has been hailed as americas prize package of loveliness she will if she runs true to form put her clothes back on and catch the next train for california with the intention of starring in the movies on arrival she will be pained to pote note that none of the studio heads is is waiting at the station to sign her up also that practically all the starring jobs are being held by young ladies who in addition to good looks have that desirable little thing called personality and next fall 6 hell be dealing ern em off the arm in in a hollywood bashery ha shery international a slickers ickers 1 R t persist that the united rv states great britain and france are preparing for eventual agreements on monetary stabilization tariff and trade adjustments price fixing of essential commodities and believe it or not brethren and listren a settlement of the defaulted foreign debts owed to us maybe its significant 0 or if you want to be broa broadminded and charitable about it merely a coincidence that every dispatch from european sources on this matter lists the debts last and verily I 1 say unto you exactly when and where they will come last I 1 seem to see the big three gathered at the council table for the final session and la belle france ma moving ving that everything else having been beeh arranged to the satisfaction of the majority present and the hour being late the detail of those debts be put over to some future date john bull seconds the motion motion carried by a vote of 2 to 1 uncle sam being feebly recorded in the negative A sense of humor RUNYON who being wise should know better re opens the issue of whether many people have a sense of humor this provokes somebody to inquire what whal is humor anyhow I 1 stand by this definition humor I 1 is s tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn lots of folks think a sense of humor is predicated on the ability to laugh at other folks which is wrong A real sense of humor is based on 11 our ability to laugh at ourselves you have to say not as puck did what fools these mortals be but what fools we mortals be why few women have a true sense of humor usually a woman even a witty woman takes herself so seriously she can never regard herself un seriously IRVIN S COBB e C service |