Show W c F X I 1 M 0 M 0 about abou t greenhorn hunters EVERLY HILLS CALM CALIF BEVERLY B now that the casualty lists are drifting in theres talk of action to cut down the needless fatalities that mark every gunning season greenhorns greenhorne Green horns prowl the glade firing at anything that moves all who can afford hunting licenses and high powered rifles are eligible they rarely hit big game but seem able to blast down humans at any distance if it were permissible to mount guides heads be handsome trophies over many a mantelpiece in this fair but careless irvin S cobb land once there was a maine guide so the old story runs who wh got gosh awfully tired of being shot at b by y city slickers so he made a complete suit of broad awning stripes a alternately white and black lie he figured that ought to save him but on his next trip into the woods an I 1 amateur potted him the first shot at the inquest the coroner said we know you mean to kill poor eph but how in thunder did you think a man dressed like him could be a deer 1 41 I think he was a deer confessed the remorseful one 1 I thought he was a zebra antics of Auto maniacs I 1 IT T MUST indeed be true that providence looks after idiots and drunkards else how could all such be able to get drivers licenses 1 I rode with a prize specimen yesterday he seemed lucid enough until he got his foot on the gas that was what fooled me if ever I 1 ride with him again which heaven forbid I 1 shall carry a lily in my hand just in case we had a set of overcoat buttons the top off of a stop signal and part of a in our car when we arrived so we actually hit anybody this being due I 1 think to his holding dead on the mark instead of leading it by a few inches as one should when ones target is moving he hopes for better luck next time yet there was no rush there rarely is and the funny part about an auto maniacs reactions ns its the only funny part the r rest st is tragedy the simp simpson n affair T THE HE simple name of simpson has become practically a household word in america but said millions of english people so much as heard it yet or at least not in their public prints its another case of having to go away from home to hear the news if its true as exclusively reported over here that his majesty invited a premier and primate two of the highest cards in the whole deck to mind their wan own business he set the tune for the daily press of his realm to dance by however the british ne newspapers ws papers never did develop the high arts of keyhole peeping and transom lifting to the extent practiced by a certain peculiar school of ame american ir journalism with them an eng lish mans house still is his castle though it be a glass house or even a royal palace but some of the london gossip writers must be so swollen up with strangulated copy probably had to have their clothes let out now if haply purely a yankee affair instead of being as it were fifty fifty how those boys would love to cut loose 0 0 A job for the new president IF TF in his first message I 1 to 0 the next congress 0 our ur newly elected president preside nt should come right out and advocate the following things first taking steps to collect or at least try to collect what those defaulting debtor nations owe us second instructing the proper departments part ments promptly to deport au all aliens illegally admitted to this coun try and therefore here in defiance of our immigration laws third authorizing immediate action so that all communists and other foreign born enemies of the government which shelters them including especially such of these thes e as are on federal relief relict rolls or hold private jobs to the e exclusion of citizens shall be put out of this co country un and kept out well it if he did do those very things there be as adam bede once said a dry throat left among the kind of americans I 1 trot around with IRVIN S COBB copyright W NU service |