Show scraps of uni BELIEVE IT OR NOT A dear old lady was shocked at the lurid language of two elec electricians trl who were working in 1 her house and complained to the company in due course the two men were sent for or and asked for or an explanation well sir air said one it was like this I 1 was up the ladder and I 1 let the hot lead fall on bill it went down ills neck and bill he said to me you yon really will have bare to be more careful jack and he got away with it your confounded hair restorer has made my hair come out more than ever everl growled the customer ah you must have put too much on airl replied the quick witted barber made the hair come all the way out oot instead of only halfway NO HURRY 3 1 I could teach you to swim in three lessons but I 1 dont want to learn that fast were going to be here for a couple of months contract casualty two men were getting ready for a dip in ID a swimming pool your shins are in pretty bad shape remarked one 1111 hockey ockey player oh no was the reply 1 I 1 just led back my cifes weak sult suit even up dorothy it must be quite three years since I 1 saw you last I 1 hardly knew you you have aged so sol I 1 doreen well I 1 have known you either except for that dress evidence mother jane do you know if johnny has come home from school yet jane I 1 think so I 1 seen him but the cat Is hiding under the stove store just juit a vacuum frosh knocking at seniors door you told me to call you in time tor for your first class but I 1 wake up myself its ten now your class Is over and you can sleep as long as you want just practicing but ive been told that you have proposed to three other girls quite recently said the ills maid oh mere rehearsals in view of proposing to you dear said the man mall hopeless case caie blinks I 1 hear bear jims gon gone e plumb goocey jinks yes the poor chaps mind has become as unbalanced as the national budget cincinnati enquirer maybe so fred mother was there hair oil in this old bottle mother why no that was glue ired fred maybe why I 1 cant get my hat off tears tear not in order my husband has run off with another women oil oh I 1 just c cant control myself you try dearle dearie feel el better after a good laugh easily satisfied but I 1 give you enough work to keep you occupied missus be surprised wot wet a little it takes to keep me occupied sydney bulletin LIKE SOME VOTERS what Is your idea of disinterested patriotism A brass brags band answered senator sorghum it will play with equal enthusiasm for far any kind of a political procession that manages to get the right of way A man must be a student all his days to hold a position like yours remarked the admiring constituent that la Is very true answered senator sorghum and like a student I 1 get so weary of hard lessons t that h at I 1 am going to organize a movement to include a sports page in the congressional record washington gron star hit his idea sunday school teacher why was wa it t that david said he be would rather be ae a doorkeeper in the house of the lord bright boy so he could go outside it if he like the sermon pathfinder magazine unutterable emotion now then what should a polite little ittle boy say to a lady who has haa given him a cent for carrying her grip im too polite to say it 14 madam boston transcript dining to discord society said miss cayenne reminds roe me of a minstrel shown show where they say bay gentlemen be seated yes only they say ladles ladies be seated and then the music starts I 1 killed off sarcastic loss boss so you want to get off this afternoon I 1 suppose your grandmother Is dead office kid naw she aint but that gar gag of your Is a dead one brooklyn eagle I 1 I 1 doubtful film star newly marr married led and Is this your home bridegroom it Is precious say it looks mightily familiar are you sure I 1 married yop before loo london don tit bits another side that at fellow Is highly educated he must be smart oh he may be responded the man in the street but he worries over things that thai I 1 never heard ol of louisville courier journal how about it housewife to subscription salesman no we dont want no magazines we dont want no salesman how about a cheap grammars gram grammar marl infallible got a new idea fortune in it ILI what now its an alarm clock that emits the delicious odors of frying bacon and fragrant coffee boston transcript why not eifle I 1 cant afford an operation now DOW hubby no just have to talk about the old one tor for another year poor kitty your grandfather seems to be a little hard of hearing A little why once he conducted family prayers kneeling on the cat HIS preference A of v 14 1 mr spoon what kind of bells do you prefer mr bell who has a nag nagging ing wife dumb bells I 1 just jul so uncle my boy you must never bite the hand that feeds you boston boy certainly not uncle it would be a hazardous undertaking the hand band Is almost certain to be covered with deadly bacteria too early to show elation affable friend you are not looking too bright today the other no I 1 you see the doctor has orl ordered ered my wife away and it if I 1 look pleased she wont go |