| Show Something I. I For Everyone By BERT LUCKY BOYACK There are many men in Hollywood some are actors millionaires etc who are chasing starlets and divorcees In a similar sense there are strewn wrecks of children on the landscape whose parents are film stars TV or night club performers Traffic arrests the drug addict the drunk are not peculiar to the children of the Pretty people in Hollywood Las Vegas too has the children of the Pretty People The drug drunk and traffic arrests are soaring daily Recently when we were in Las Vegas and it was known that we had been married for 20 years the usual comment How wonderful How nice and We have so many divorced people come here Note In a future column we hope to tell you more about Las Vegas WISHES There are beautiful ul people and there are people who want to be beautiful ul and they want to be beautiful so badly Our heroine wanted to be a beautiful ul people She was walking on the beach one day when she spied a bottle And in the bottle was a Genie She took the Genie out and like all good Genies he said Ask anything and I will fulfill your fondest wish Well it isn't everyday that you find a Genie but she still didn't give it a second thought I want hair like Elizabeth Tayl Taylor r eyes like Brigitte Bardot and a body like Sophia Loren I want to b be bea beautiful The Genie took another look at her and said Honey put me back in the bottle FUTURE PLANS In Las Vegas when a woman decided to stay home and take care of her boutique rather than accompany her husband on a round world the world the trip ce celebrating their wedding anniversary he took the trip alone and returned home with photos of girls in every casino and announced Im a love She now wants a divorce he wants more travel BOMBED A luscious curvy movie starlet finally got rid of her fifth husband and shortly afterwards announced there would be an engagement party for herself and number six After the party she was talking to a group of friends and explained there were no secrets between her and her new beau I told him everything she gushed All my past indiscretions indiscretions indiscretions indis indis- boy friends lovers and husbands What honesty What cour courage e said a listener What a memory replied another FRUSTRATED The lovely doll with the practically new wedding band was vociferously voicing her troubles to a friend during lunch I sure hate marriage its it's terrible George hasn't made love to me in two months So the other girl said Why dont don't you just divorce him And the wailing one replied How can I Im I'm not married to GEORGE SNAPPY COME BACK BACKA A cheeky golfer goUer once called at the very moment that Jackie Gleason was lining up a putt Hey Jackie do you hit a long ball Gleason glared at the offender and snapped No dummy I hit a round one t t GOOD OR OR BAD Mae West probably the the only star who had an important piece y of or o f war war material named after her the life preservers preservers pre pre- servers which when inflated saved many an aviator ditched in the briny is wont to boast When Im I'm good Im I'm very very good but when Im I'm bad Im I'm even better SIDNEY REPORTS For Hollywood couples who wish to be married in Phoenix Arizona an airline company offers a Package Deal The couple never have to leave the airport On hand are clerk and license a judge two witnesses flowers for the bride and a plane waiting to fly the couple back to Holly Holly- wood 0 0 NO GO GOI GOI GOI I think you might as well give your husband a divorce the judge advised What shouted the wife After living with this man for 20 years I should make him happy now ss a. a s MONEY Miriam Hopkins made her debut as one of the Eight Little Notes who served as the chorus of the First Music Box Revue On the town out-of-town try-outs try an aging soprano was was was' penciled in for a leading role ole and sought to impress Miss Hopkins Ill have you know she declared that I insured my voice for wonderful said Miss Hopkins What did you do with the money t tt t t PHYLLIS DILLER I would like you to remember me as the woman who gave Twiggy the courage to try I I CONCERNED c Three diminutive kiddies in Beverly Hills decided to toC C play house Said the first Ill be the papa Said the second Ill be the mamma Said the third Ill be beC bethe C the divorce attorney st as GRAND PERSON K Its It's nice to report that Maurice Chevalier 80 60 next birthday received the greatest ovation of his life when he gave his final performance at the palladium in London recently The gay is still giving same show in other cities but this year he is ending his career No more touring He will live at his s farm near Paris LAST WORD From worry some people become bald or prematurely K gray Lucky strikes a happy medium medium-he isn t q quite bald and his hair is no not t completely gray or white |
