Show youth ribes ides west i j ba bl will duill irwin 4 copyright by br will irwen V service bot CHAPTER XIII continued 17 then ilien I 1 came seventeen and was going to finish next year music and needlework and latin and french and riding and dancing and deportment and nd nothing whatever about life I 1 even read a novel except surri burro I 1 a little girl any longer of course I 1 had become a woman the period I 1 suppose when every girl ought to be locked tip bp for a while probably the french are right and ot of course with me the one ode thing I 1 never had was love ile he was the first martin ile he came to ole seminary about a piece efland of land they were buying for a new building tou ten have seen him ile he Is bonny yet but that was five fire years ago I 1 never thought of my ideal lover of nights tier after that only him miss gorham bad to go to look for some papers I 1 was left alone with hirn him for half an tour before she carne came back it had tone gone pretty tar far I 1 had promised to write to him he bad arranged to put letters to me under a boundary stone on the new property I 1 wrote to him eveia every night and I 1 saw him three times A girl in love can manage that you know no one ever suspected me I 1 always seemed I 1 suppose like an obedient little thing his letters were vt wonderful ond erful that just glamour I 1 read them over again just before I 1 came west he truly loved me there were other considerations ill tell bout about them later but he be loved me and we eloped I 1 proposed it I 1 just walked away from the school one night after supper and met him we took the train to newport together find end were married he had arranged everything it had bad to be arranged I 1 lied of course about ray my uge age it all got into the papers probably the marriage could have been annulled but father did nothing about that I 1 suppose my stepmother was only too glad to get rid of me for good I 1 wrote to father ile he answered with a dreadful letter martin deane tried fried to see him and martin was piqued you see father was rich and well I 1 have said that martins motives were all mixed up but he loved me ile he truly did you see if he loved me he liae married m me e I 1 was so young and inexperienced he could have fooled roe me easily enough and I 1 loved him but only in one wry I 1 know that then I 1 do remember watching him one day from tile front window as he walked down the street and feeling that there e was something lacking but just for a Dil minute nute I 1 know tor for a long iong time I 1 was so young and inexperienced bout about tile the condition of his business ile he was to la real estate as ive told you we thed very prettily I 1 much taken with the business friends he brought home to supper as I 1 look back now flow I 1 think of them all as a little unclean spiritually nor their wives 1 I was hungry for my own kind of women he used to talk to me of course about his bu business iness put but I 1 was like a nun film for nil all of the world A more experienced perien ced woman would have under stood much sooner that it was all wiling every bit of it wrong then lle lie was arrested it was all it a very had piece of business the papers were full of it it we gave up our house we moved into a furnished room lie he wan wall tried finally and acquitted mostly moistly hed been just within the law hut but he done right nevertie nevert be win IMS rind and everyone knew it ile he took it hard of course he was wag rebellious rebellions we quarreled too but I 1 made him understand that it was wrong troubles came all together my aly father died I 1 went to him at the last my stepmother could not prevent I 1 vw t I 1 cant no now tell you all about that dut but I 1 knew that he lolled me pd that it if I 1 made a wrong lead d little fool of myself by eloping with martin dearie wed have f igind a way to in spite of my step r then I 1 was very III ty phol lei ater er I 1 nearly died martin stayed ay uy MY lather father had bad made a codicil to lii will a month before hla his death ile he ft fl roe me ten th thousand dol dollars larg some ol of that was needed to pay our debts when I 1 was better martin and I 1 talked it all over there was wa no use tit of staying in providence he wanted to go veat and start again honestly I 1 gave him halt half of my money he was to get settled and send tor for me I 1 want in condition to travel I 1 got my strength th buck back very slowly I 1 had much time to myself I 1 was very iery ery lonely and 1 I suppose when youre in such A 11 state flute os as I 1 wits waa then and have been so near death you see bee things more clearly I 1 had beon been greatly to maine I 1 ran away with him in the I as much to spite my litel other allier ua its for any other reason I 1 clont rally r ally love film as I 1 might lime hills I livria avd a rood man but I 1 loved him i lied hed uever never once been harsh churl to we me thais a great deal lu l ti 1 4 and I 1 could 11 all him lilet tb the I 1 right way id prove that he had bad never grown rown up on one tide side of him and nd never would he see e right and nd wrong wron clearly just as a a little boy boj I 1 wont pretend to you yon robert that I 1 have moments when r was wa tempted to leave him but I 1 knew that if I 1 did I 1 could never be happy I 1 should always be thinking of him out la in the world with no one to take care of of his soul what it conies canies down to robert saying his soul sou at bottom you know im religious she paused her eyes great erent nod and tender with shadow of old suffering clutched mine and seemed beamed to plead for approval I 1 could not withhold it 1 I see you believe all tills constance I 1 said it was my job my ity job for life he went to wyoming last summer ile he wrote now and then I 1 wrote constantly st ile he was doing well he said bald But business ness ile he very definite about the business in the winter lie he moved to denver I 1 addressed him through the general delivery I 1 wrote that I 1 was coming to him in the spring ile he advised me to walt wait awhile said he quite settled but I 1 knew the longer I 1 waited the harder it would be in the spring I 1 started I 1 wrote to say when I 1 would arrive ue he waiting at the station one of martins notes to me was on the letterhead of the lie canyon house in denver its a hotel down by the railroad station not IN a very plea pleasant ant place lie he had gone to cottonwood Cott orwood a month before I 1 asked the clerk what maxwell had done for a living in denver ile he evaded that so I 1 started tor for cottonwood you know the rest constance dropped her eyes to her clasped hands 1 I leave sold said all this to you it if I 1 been through what happened today even it if things had gone happily it if that had been possible I 1 would have been a long time bringing myself to say this but when I 1 looked at you first I 1 knew I 1 knew you were everything I 1 had ever loved in martin deane and oh all I 1 was hungry for tori I 1 to see you every day and know you loved me udd and to go to bed early to think of you but it was wrong it was where I 1 very nearly failed I 1 burst out here you say that I 1 I 1 went out to capture your husband last night because I 1 was jealous poor roberti robert I 1 had given you much mch provocation was all she said to that and then I 1 found him I 1 was riding up the trail to forty rod ile he came out of the pines lie ile was riding a black horse of course he be was astonished and yet he was glad lie ile I 1 felt he still loved me ine in spite of the way hed kept me in the east that was the main thing robert not that I 1 wanted him to love me ipe with you in the world but so long as he loved me there was a chance he was mining above forty rod they expected to strike it soon he said three weeks would tell the story then hed come down to me and ana wed go way together it if I 1 wanted to go away and I 1 did it hurt b but ut I 1 did I 1 wai was afraid with wid you in cottonwood ton toD wood robert I 1 asked to go up and stay with him at forty rod but he have that lie ile said the place was too rough he asked me not to tell anyone for the present that I 1 had a husband here just let things stand as they were for three weeks I 1 said bold martin youve gone wrong again I 1 I 1 he laughed and sat said not very and I 1 came home and did let things stand as they were it was only three weeks after all and I 1 would see you and then no more last night lie he came to the tent came he said just because he wanted to see me he had been drinking that one of his vices usually he said that things were going wonderfully der fully hed be ready in two or three days to take me away I 1 made him promise to go straight back to the claim I 1 wanted to go with him to his horse he objected to that ithac but lie promised and broke its ills promise I 1 interpolated hotly 1 I think lie intended to nevertheless mrs burnaby told me this morning about tile robbery and the vigilance I 1 committee ashes the only person ive ever taken into my confidence and she not very for far probably ashes guessed some of 0 the rest I 1 found killed three men at forty rod kod and had two in jall jail to hang I 1 went to the jail through the side window I 1 saw martin I 1 appealed to you and you saved me all I 1 think her shoulders held bell so proudly erect drooped now no it all I 1 sold said IId kent you had enough constance you surely dont hope her eyes lifted somberly to mine as she interrupted im ilu not thinking pt hope there Is very little hope perhaps now all I 1 know Is that I 1 am stil stlla the one chance he be has and that astill have a hold I 1 must follow him try to find dud him and when I 1 find him of course that hint pleasant to contemplate sly my money la Is nearly gone I 1 shall be poor perhaps Ier haps lie he will go to jail and add I 1 shall be a wife but bill robert what would you think of 0 a woman who abandoned her child just because it was idiotic or crippled or telous id be dong doing the same bame thing more afore it if I 1 should get a common divorce and marry you it would woul d be to me ine a though we had conspired to kill him to get him out of the i way ay ll 11 her eyes until now so dry and solemnly thoughtful welled for tn lan instant with tears teara but she checked them theli us by effort of 0 the will it Is your soul I 1 have been loving all this time constance I 1 said and d I 1 cannot deny your soul I 1 thick you f r will fall because became I 1 think you ire are try ing ln something which cannot succeed and aad thon I 1 will come to you yon again for I 1 shall ball never love anyone else ila he may nave hav eyou joa j oa but you yon are always mine yes res robert always alway sill I 1 she said you tou must promise me that if the time comes when I 1 may help cleanly you yon will let me 1 I promise what are you going to do robert 11 1 shall stay here and face it it if there in 1 anything to face ace I 1 said 1 I nm am a rich man you know constance I 1 added 1 I dont mean my mining property but I 1 never have to think of money I 1 could go BO east and put this behind me but I 1 want to face it because ill be nearer you and because you because I 1 cant let jet you yon be any stronger than I 1 slie she nodded slowly solemnly flints good slie she said not the part about me debut but about you it la Is you as id like you to be then she smiled almost like her old self in her morry merry moods cant we forget this morning for a moment and oil robert you are so tired youve had a dreadful dreadful night and dayl you must sleep now sleep I 1 said when I 1 have bare n few hours with you and may not see you for years but ever even as I 1 spoke a rush of inner drowsiness made insincere my words word constance looked outside the tent flaps gaped wide making visible this rude apartment to all the world this camp doubtless thinks about its as scandalously of you and we me as it contance constance dropped her eyes eye to her clasped hands hand can she bhe said look robert im going to make you lie down on my bed had I 1 been myself I 1 should have protested As tt it was I 1 yielded like a sleepy child she wet a towel washed my face she loosened my collar her touch which normally roused every fiber in me was now heavenly soothing she held my shoulders as I 1 stretched out my aching muscles on the white sheet counterpane she knelt beside me holding and putting patting my dry hand once she looked swiftly out of doors then bent and kissed my forehead I 1 raised my other hand band to embrace her but she put it gently back I 1 was gone 0 0 0 0 a 0 0 A light shone in my face I 1 sprang up sitting twilight without mrs burnaby barnaby shading an oil lamp with her h hand a nd seven ocl I 1 said mrs Bar baraby bannally nally your boss has been lookin over the hull bull camp tor for you says hes wanted at town and youve got to get out the paper though why it should get out whores wheres constance mrs deane I 1 asked basked her oh she took the two stage to denver she tell she was coln to xa xi x x x x x x r CHAPTER XIV my decision to tay stay at cottonwood and face it all down proved ridiculously wore more easy than I 1 thought when I 1 matched nobilities with constance disgrace is I 1 a coward it retreats retreat before a bold front the indifferent world la in the end always takes toward it the attitude that you take yourself nor indeed did cottonwood probably think me ine disgraced they gossiped of course I 1 had tor for a long time an uncomfortable sense that groups had pointed me out when I 1 passed but to my face mm men showed only cordiality sometimes a trifle overdone and more gulling grilling than public reproach even that had bad passed A mining camp runs with bewildering speed its course from birth to senile decay twenty years of europe I 1 in a mouth month cottonwood tired lived it a cycle of cathay before august blew the petals from the white columbines decked the he forests with their flaunting sisters sister in red nod and yellow we had become a new an events a few weeks before were as ancient history as though they had happened to my grandfather constance wrote from denver on the surface tills this was merely a friendly letter etter such as any married woman might address to a young man who lind bad rendered her ser service rIce yet the intention rhinos through the written ex ec e c pres slon and as by an arrangement of words too subtle for analysis I 1 knew that constance deana dean had not changed chanced toward me never would change she had found martin deane had seen been him otice once but he thinks it better considering his position that we should not be together for the present elther either here or traveling she wrote in all I 1 had bad six letters from her that autumn I 1 have them yet after that she did not refer again even to martin deane only the fourth said if there Is any change in my situation I 1 shall let you know at once I 1 meantime I 1 had bad resumed my regul regular or correspondence with mother much neglected of late into it I 1 poured something of the soul and fervor with which I 1 would have liked to infuse my letters to constance the shrewd eye of motherhood seemed dimly and uneasily to perceive the meaning behind this change her commonplace about cohasset cohassey Co hasset were sprinkled with hints that I 1 must have had enough of the west by november indeed she advised me openly to come home at least for the winter 1 I want to ook look you over roberti robert she wrote poor mother I 1 thought if she only knew and I 1 speculated on happiness as one will in the depths of misery imagining her in the capacity of mother in law it if I 1 had met constance in ordinary happy circumstances wooed her serenely and according to the normal pattern of courting in mothers time and place I 1 had no doubt but they would have got on wonderfully they were just like enough just different enough the souls of both were |