Show I I Something For Everyone By BERT BOYACK I IBy By BERT LUCKY BOYACK I Quotable Jokes Of The Present Country Sage Probably no other freedom is as important important important im im- im- im as being free to laugh JACK E. E LEONARD If If the average man saves for forthe the the- next 20 years at the rate hes he's been saving for the past six months hell he'll be able to retire at atthe atthe the age of 60 owing only JACKIE VERNON Ten years ago in Cleveland I sent senta a pair of shoes to a local shoemaker for repairs A Afew Afew Afew few days later I left town forgetting to pick up the shoes I recently returned to Cleveland and to my y surprise discovered that I still had the shoemakers shoemaker s claim ticket in my y y wallet let I t fou found q t. t the shoe repair r. r I o h t shop and presented my my ticket t to th the old shem shoemaker g S He took a long look at the ticket rummaged through his shelves at the back of the shop and said be ready tomorrow RED SKELTON Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in with your kids PHYLLIS DILLER For years now Ive I've been going to beauty parlors and getting those expensive facial treatments Finally I asked my hair-dresser hair How I come after all these years I dont don't get any better looking He said I think youve you've built up an immunity ANNE FRANCINE I was in a nightclub the other night where business was so bad the cigarette girl was selling belling loose cigarettes 4 I j i BILL COSBY I wasn't much good in gym class in inI I I school After Id I'd been in it one semester they started j remedial gym class I IDAN I DAN ROWAN OW AN DIC DICK MARTIN MARTIN The beautiful young o ng I blonde bionde hoped to o impress her date with her knowledge I of baseball After watching 23 batters in a row get hits she said That pitcher is marvelous He hasn't I missed the bat once I GEORGE KIRBY I once passed a vacant lot in Chicago my home town and saw a bunch of kids playing baseball I asked one of the boys how the game was going and he told me the score to nothing Whose favor I asked He pointed to the team at bat and said Theirs beating you pretty bad arent aren't they And the kid looked at me and said I uI dont don't know we aint been up to bat yet II WHITE You know what they call Howard Hughes in Las Vegas Mister Mist r Chips MICKEY SHARP Theres There's one thing Ive I've learned in I life life- Most of us dont don't put our best foot forward I until we get the other one in m hot water JERRY LEWIS When I was a kid we were so poor my father used to give me a dime to go without supper As things picked up for him he raised it to a quarter I SHEILA MACRAE In a manufacturing plant the management offered a 25 cash award to employees who offered offeree acceptable suggestions about how the company could save money One of the first awards paid was to a man who suggested that in the future the economy award would be cut to 10 VICTOR BORGE The Swedes who like to drink tell the following anecdote to illustrate the prowess of the Finns Finns- A Swede and a Finn are out on a bender With each drink the Swede says the pair pair- tilt their heads back and down the hatch neat This goes on for half a dozen drinks from the Swede and down the hatch Finally in disgust the Finn bangs his glass on ont t the e bar turns to hi his companion and says Look I II I did dide we e come here to drink or to talk I 1 LAST WORD Excuse the writer in in going to the kitchen i ito to make some old fashioned fudge Let us read the i I recipe Take one old fashioned and another old I II Ii fashioned and another I I 0 I |