| Show Something once in For or Everyone By BERT BOYACK T THIS WEEK ONLY Politics dedicated to all those men who are dedicated to giving service to the citizen beyond the call of or duty Damn your principles stick to your party Benjamin Disraeli 1804 1881 There are stories of the clashes in Parliament between Benjamin Disraeli and William Ewart Gladstone Disraeli Dis Dis Disraeli shouted his enraged adversary once you will come cometo to your end either upon the gallows or from some loathsome loathsome loathsome loath loath- some disease That depends replied the unruffled Disraeli Disraeli Dis Dis- upon whether I embrace your principles or your fancy women Every time I bestow a public office I make a hundred discontented persons and one Ingrate Louis XIV of France 1715 1638 When C you have a number of disagreeable duties to perform perform perform per per- form always do the most disagreeable first II Josiah Quincy Richard Nixon who is called by some Tricky Dick was asked who he thought the great Republican Presidents were He answered Hoover Coolidge Harding Grant Lincoln and of course Eisenhower In regards to his nickname Mr Nixon remarked I I 1 dont don't whine about my image of Tricky Dick I can take it and I can dish It out And I will when the time comes What a political typical Nixon remark straight from the shoulder I Referring to politicians who give lip service to American Ameri Ameri- can principles while smashing them in practice former President Herbert Hoover once said All this reminds me of the s small mall girl who said Mother you know that beautiful jug you said has been handed down to us from generation to generation Mother replied Yes Ann what of it And Ann answered solemnly This generation dropped it When I was a boy I was told anyone can be president Now I am beginning to believe it UP Clarence Darrow PARODY ON BARRY GOLDWATER IN RETROSPECT When Barry Goldwater said Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice In your heart you knew he was right And he said And let me remind you that Moderation in pursuit of Justice is no virtue Jin In your spine you knew he was fine d But in your shoes you knew he would lose And that is probably why even thou though h he was loaded The election return exploded right in his face VIGNETTES OF POLITICS Ask any defeated politician why he didn't win and he will say being elected is a matter of luck One judicious politician re reminds minds us any man in inthe inthe inthe the body politic should have great knowledge and be well equipped with common sense as well as humor could this thisbe thisbe thisbe be the reason why so many lawyers or attorneys are governors governors governors gov gov- senators and congressmen Any mayor or gov governor will deny that their town or state is decaying because its always smelled that way One prudent mayor mayr of a small town remarked My Iy wife is a little out of sorts this month she miscalculated and spent only three dollars less than I earned Another politician says his last operation was not too successful because it was done by a left handed surgeon One pessimistic voter says he willbe will willbe willbe be glad when the 1968 elections come and then he will enjoy voting no not for but against a candidate Although the party conventions are months away the writers for politicians politicians are looking up Washington sayings With all the human transplants currently taking place one day they could find it possible to transplant brains and it may be possible to have a President of the United States who would not be controversial One definition of a politician is a aI aman aman I man who works his gums before election and gums the works after election Some people think that If It some politicians make their own bed they should lie He in it and others think they make their own bunk and then try to tolie tolie tolie lie out of it A good story involves Abe Fortas who was under-secretary under of the Interior Secretary Ickes was out of town and Fortas sat in for him at a cabinet meeting The President could not remember Fortas' Fortas name and passed a note down the table asking for help Fortas was whispered whispered whispered whis whis- and relayed to the President who then wrote on the pad Not l his s last name his first name And then going around the table he come to Fortas the president asked Well Vell Abe what's been going on in Interior Two men from Washington sat down by a stranger from Texas One said I cy hear President Truman is raising taxes The Texan stood up and md knocked the man down down His friend asked why he would do such a thing for such a harmless remark as raising taxes' taxes The embarrassed Texan replied Oh I thought you said that he was raised in Texas Texas' A worried man in politics called the undertaker and cried Come over and bury my wife But said the mortician I cy buried your wife ten years ago I cy got married again sobbed the politician Congratulations said the undertaker The writer has hs had some experience with the personality of the men in politics such as when President Truman made madea a brief whistle stop speech on the platform of a train I shook his hand eagerly as I also had the pleasure of shaking shaking shaking shak shak- ing Governor Rampton's hand in Salt Lake City quite by accident and I arranged for Frank E E. E Moss to speak at a aLion's Lions Lion's Club meeting sitting beside him during the occasion LAST WORD FOR THIS TillS WEEK We Ve continue each day day- each month month to to build a better and freer America an America we can bequeath to our children and our grandchildren grandchildren grandchildren grand grand- children with hope and pride Sen Frank E. E Moss |
