Show Something For yone Evel vex one By B BET BERT RT BOYACK T This week For the wed newly-wed or newly 4 Oh how may torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring ng Colley Gibber 4 Mother and daughter were very busy with with the wedding plans We have so much to do said the to bride-to-be we mustn't forget the most insignificant detail Oh answered the mother dont worry about him hell he'll be there First Bride Yes sir Ive I've got my husband eating out of my hand Second Bride Saves a lot of dish washing doesn't it i i iA A frustrated bride to her friend Ive just been reading a book What Every Man 1 Should Know and have I got gotan gotan gotan an ignorant husband 5 The silliest argument we ever heard was the one between the bride and bridegroom over which side of the bed they wanted to sleep on She Some people profit by the mistakes of others He Yeah like the minister who got five dollars for marrying us 4 t Newly married women drive slower than married men because women will do anything to stay under 30 ti SHORT SHOTS FOR WEDS NEWLY-WEDS A man is getting old when he is more interested in how a girl sounds than in how she looks Just when a aman aman aman man has a woman all figured out the styles change A good line is the shortest distance between a man and anda a girl The only thing harder than a diamond is making the payments on it An optimist is a man who would try to take advantage of a modern girls girl's innocence Sometimes a mink coat comes from skinning a wolf When a man is bent on getting married some girl can usually straighten him out A wolf is a man who wants to live in a house by the side of the road and be a friend to women Many times when a doll is squeezed instead of saying Mama it says Lets eat C The fundamental reason that women do not achieve so greatly as men do is that women have no wives Until such time as science or economics correct this blunder women will remain the inferior sex t t t iiii Displaying her wedding gifts the bride came to one from the bridegrooms bridegroom's service buddy I just adore these personalized personalized personalized per per- gifts she said We have received towels and wash cloths with HIS and HERS on them but she blushed this is even more personal And she held up an olive-drab olive blanket with the letter US stamped in the middle r ti Rii A Scotchman re j V I 4 TV M fin f I 3 t A particular Scotchman was in no hurry to get married married J During the courtship his girl became sick and had to have havea a nurse He noted that the nurse was paid 25 The next year the same thing happened and so it did the third year each time the nurse received the 25 fee The girl was beginning to get the idea that she was led astray with promises of marriage and asked Sandy when are we going to get married I tell you lass he said when I noted how you always give the nurse 25 each time you were sick I figured the profitable thing to do I married the nurse At a wedding reception a bridegroom was called upon to tomake tomake tomake make a speech He evidently was not used to speechmaking ing but he rose bravely to the attempt while blushing to the roots of his hair Unfortunately his hand rested on the brides bride's shoulder as he stammered the opening and closing words This er er thing has been unexpectedly forced upon me LAST WORD FOR THIS WEEK Men are April when they woo December when they wed Maids are May when they are maids but the sky changes I when they are wives William Shakespeare |