Show What's hat inTHE m in THE GREAT OUTDOORS By By Stan Stun r 1 We citizens of quiet country 1 towns are accustomed to relative ly slow peaceful living In tn small societies such as 8 ours ever everybody bodY I knows everybody everybody and and the thel In Instruction I of city strangers makes mac I curious peasants squirm In d dis comfort Maybe well we'll be le less less alarmed alarmed alarmed II if we wo know exactly what to expect come October October and and the annual Invasion In of red garbed wield rifle ing ng city savages Study the follow follow- tug lug 27 21 characters closely fellow countrymen you'll you II soon see them Meanwhile round up your livestock your farm Implements your daughters and keep your powder dry Prepared Nimrod Hit His swaybacked sway away backed steed not only carries Ita it ma master tr but Is la also alao burden ed with binoculars meat sacks lacka rope axe pots pans panl compass compala waterproof matchbox canned pork and beans bean canned beverages extra ammo canteen can canteen n- n teen tools flashlight flash light tight everything but the Coleman stove Restless T This h his i s greenhorn mountain climbing machine doesn't feel that hes he's really re reo ally rally looking for deer unless he covers at least four counties a day A nimrod like him belongs on a fox chase not noton noton noton on a deer hunt Gun Nut Ills His rifle rUle has everything everything every every- thing it needs except wheels is chambered for the latest high highS speed cartridge and will flatten a fleet fawn as far away as Nut can spot one This skyline sky line scouring sharpshooter cries all the way back to civilization If It be lie falls to hit his buck square Inthe in inthe inthe the eye I Old Stagg H Hun Hunter u n t e r This numb rod numb rod kills kill more fifths than I I game uses game uaea ame-uaea up all hit his ammunition tion the night before the hunt shooting at bats batt and night night- hawks Hell He'll come to with a terrible hangover about noon opening day and then have to face the angry wrathful occupants occupants oc of nearby camps Playboy A predatory w wolf In sheep's clothing this sneak sm smug sms smuggles files his out of the Louse house in his sleeping bag sets up lP camp at a stylish motet ova oa outskirts of ot town lown add anil does leI h his I dear hunting bunting at the nightclubs W tJi recovers overs Play Play- s tor y rifle still rifle in the bedroom she loads It up AND GOES GOES' HIM HIMI Glory S- S Seeking Gunman Hunts desperately IY the entire season determined determined de de- to get the biggest buck Thinks nothing of jimmying his partners' partners sights or and/or claiming credit for all the hits If necessary this greedy gun will lie He cheat steal poach or shoot his I I I buddies just buddIes just so 80 he winds up with the size record-size I Saturday Afternoon This efficient dweller city has budgeted himself exactly 3 hours houri and 17 minutes In which to get his deer He zooms to the country In a sports car then car then makes his brief gallop through the foothills attired In flannel suit and dress shoes He arrives back at the city right on sched ached ule but with an an empty game bag ag Sound Bound Shooter Needs no introduction introduction introduction intro intro- and h hunters u II n t e r s with sound minds endeavor to remain remain re re- main malo several canyons away from him Thrifty Game Pursuer Packs a good cheap army surplus rifle reloads his own ammunition fig figures ures tires his deer will save him 70 10 in meat bills During the hunt Thrifty spends for a li license II 11 cense cease 10 for gasoline 20 for grub 4 U for tor a tress pass permit 20 20 horse rental 6 for booze 18 for tor poker loses his wrist wrIstwatch watch breaks his glasses then glasses then winds up shooting the hindquarters off offa a puny fawn Wise Woodsman This brainy meat provider buys buy his hla In a meat market market gets gets his hla hunting kicks kick from magazines Wise Win also alto reads read the dally daily obituary column watching for names of 1 I I I I his hla fat foolish neighbors neighbor who fo o e out al bad hearts heart by makin like mountain goats Kon lion Resident If he doe doesn't nt come como roaring Into the checking station last lant day with some farmr farm farm- r ira era mule draped over the hood hoo 1 of GIs li III Cadillac then Cadillac then hes he's lost a and ad d youve you've all gotta get gel back up upon on Otis your aching feet and return I Ito to too Uio wilds In search of him T T. T V Y V. V Influenced Sportsman A AU U Wyatt character dolled up In Levi LevU a J. J B. B Stetson Stelson and a pate pal of pearl pearl handled handled single action revolvers He lie wields a bucking Winchester carbine but I poses no threat at 0 o the wildlife population cause he shoots shoo Is IsIt I It II from the hip I Armchair Expert Figures Figurea to I bag em by the book book This ones onet I daubed from head to toe with smelly old and l- l u I teen ceen a where where he he's hes elther bang n two antlers I together or blowin on some tome newfangled new I Defensive Has lIas yet to I put l lead ad into Inlo his hia first chunk of enlson Benison but hastens to explain why durn sights sight's been heen knocked knock knock- ed line or blasted scopes scope's fogged up upon on me or never did have no faith In them I reloads or something like that Temporary Type Temporary Type Brush Drush Beater Deater Wears Vears brown buckskin jacket and cowboy hat looks hat looks good but lives I I dangerously The only red coloring coloring color color- 1 I ing searchers will find on his lifeless form will be BLOOD I Scoutmaster Aint really one but sure fluff ha has hal a natural leader complex The lazy cuss CUM orders order his hll hi meek companions companion to todo todo do the dirty work they beat I I I the bru brush h and comb the canyons canyon can can- yon while Scoutmaster sitson tits sits on hi his gun butt at the head of a I I 1 box canyon and waits wait for em to push the big ones one to him Teenage Hep Cat He and his gang Bang ng race their hotrod to the highest highet peak lose interest spend the day Bull Durham and to rock n roll on the rod radio h I 9 u E pr w Artist This shoot 1 jr r chap is afflicted with even en en e sees see I horns on the ie e blasts away at whai- whai what h I to be he a trophy only buck only buck only todis to cover that hes he's murdered 4 a 40 I pou pound 4 fawn or worse his hunting partner I Professional Poacher Outfit I I I I Includes shotgun pistol hacksaw hack hack- saw law wire cutters fish tackle clorox spotlight liquor everything but a a hunting II II- cense This villan shoots shoot em and leaves leave em gleefully em gleefully lays out lead ead at anything and everything every thing that move moves also also preys on farm equipment etc Soft SoftHearted Soft Shooter Does his with a camera swears he has just as much fun fUll as anybody How any anyone one can murder one of those beautiful brown eyed brown eyed creatures creatures creatures crea crea- tures Is 13 beyond me he says then adds It wont won't be long now I I I I I I I I I I 1 I I I 11 t. t until they'll ALL have to toto I ILO to u their hunting with a camera I These next few types are most commonly found among Us COUP- COUP I ti tl folks I I Ca Caer er heaver Freezer Killer Hunts Hun early season flow sea I Ilion lion aon rl post tea sea sin jn n. n His HIli u. u u cs fir firss him and hi his hll Ufe leaves leave I fn n but still by bytosh bosh tosh osh he hes had Aad lad one one fun I I I A wise Ise old with dozens of bucks buckso Itu to o his credit this feller teller just sits watches and walls waits I Holiday Mountaineer neer Has been working In the I wilderness all year wrangling I steers or wooleys and should be and ready for tor a a. a rest come Octo October her 18 Not this char I Forsaking his chance at a brief spell of soft living he saddles sad saddies dies dlos his weary nag and heads right back up into the tall timber a This Thia feller with feller-with with a conditioned horse sharp eye and knowledge of the big bigone's bigone's lone's ones one's whereabouts whereabouts-Is Is as strong a aas contender as Patient Peak sitter In deer contests Bullheaded Bowman Doesn't I I I I pack a gun gun just Juat that crazy I curved stick I didn't get him I I j during the bow season lealon he bawls but Ill I'll get him dunn durin I this r reg regular e g u l I a r hunt hunt or or die Sentimental Sportsman Always goes up the 01 Ol Canyon a week or two early sos to get the tents U UI at the same spot where dad and Uncle Joe and cousin Luther usta camp Likely as not this guys guy's still the same black powder black powder 90 45 that grandpa I hunted hunted with with the the one he used t t kill that bear up Snake Holler Hollerback I Iback Iback back in 87 i Hospitable Hunter Lives In a 1 ural aural area near choice hunting territory territory takes takes along city relatives rela I tives friends their friends etc etc Hospitable patiently holds his guests' guests horses usually borrowed borrowed bor bor- rowed from him while they layout Lay Layout layout out the lead It If one of ot these 11 day friends makes a wild shot shot shot- and hits Hospitable hits Hospitable hauls the deer out skins it cleans it It dresses dresses' It It etc etc Average Normal Nimrod Shucks folks aint no such sueh athing a athing thing STAN |