Show REPORT FROM WASHINGTON by REP LAURENCE j. j BURTON UTAH R-UTAH FEBRUARY 11 11 1968 The Congress is observing a n short recess The breather comes as a result of Lincoln's birthday Lincoln of course was born only on one day just like the rest of us But Congress takes 10 days to celebrate it The reason for this is because the Republicans in the Senate and House fan out all over the country and give speeches to gatherings of their Republican friends Democrats I presume take this opportunity opportunity op Ope op- op to fight more among themselves This is the GOP way of paying homage to Lincoln who was the first and greatest Republican president It also is the way the party raises money Party faithful pay from 5 on up for tickets to these Lincoln Day events depending de dc pending on where they are held and who is the speaker The tariff is higher if the speaker is an Eisenhower a Romney or a Nixon it is rather modest if he happens to be just a mere congressman The higher price doesn't guarantee guarantee guar guar- antee a better speech though The higher up you are in the party hierarchical structure structure ture the more prestigious are your Lin Lincoln oln Day speaking assignments Governor Reagan and Mayor Lindsay for example wont won't be speaking in Jackrabbit Flats Nevada Some Soma freshman congressman will get to speak there In fact that's where I started out five years ago Now due to the inexorable uplifting wrought by the seniority system Im I'm up up to the level of really big cities like Altoona Pennsylvania and Bangor Maine It may be sometime yet before the New York Times headlines BURTON BURTON BURTON BUR TON IS LINCOLN DAY SPEAKER AT WALDORF WALDORF- ASTORIA But I dont don't care Id I'd really rather do my Lincoln Day orating in Utah We may not have everything every thing they've got in New York City but at least weve we've got sense enough to keep our garbage from piling up in inthe inthe inthe the streets And out here unlike we really appreciate a good speaker This is something the GOP National Committee Committee Com Com- apparently doesn't understand When I think of some of the turkeys that they have sent to Utah in times past 1 I But weve we've had some darn good ones too The Democrats also go out and give speeches But they do theirs a little later in the season They usually make more noise simply because there are more of them It depends on your partisan leanings I guess as to whether the Democrats make better speeches than the Republicans A newspaper friend of mine who has to listen to speeches for both sides tells me there isn't much difference between the two They're both pretty awful says he The general format calls for the speaker to tell his audience if it be a Republican gathering how badly the Democrats are handling things and how much we need to return to the good old principles espo espoused sed by Abraham Lincoln which the Democrats so he says somehow have never heard about Conversely if it is a Democratic meeting meeting meet meet- ing the speaker tells te his audience that they never had it so good and they would have it even better if there weren't so darn many Republicans holding office It would be great fun I think if sometime the speakers speak speak- ers got their appointments mixed up so that a Democrat showed up at a Republican meeting and vice versa Cant Can't you just hear the Republican howls when the speaker reverently reverently reverently re re- re- re intones the names of Franklin Roosevelt Wilson and Grover Cleveland when the only Democrats they expected expected ex ex- to hear about were Bobby Baker Daker Harry Vaughan and Benedict Arnold All Republicans think Benedict Arnold was a Democrat And the Democrats would no doubt choke on their rubber chicken the standard fare at these political gatherings gath at the astonishing things a Republican would have to tell them On the other hand maybe the audiences wouldn't know the the difference It has been my observation observation observation tion that most of the attendees go to sleep shortly after the Pledge of Allegiance anyway The Democrats of course dont don't have Lincoln Day celebrations At least they haven't had any so far Ear Democrats Democrats Democrats Demo Demo- frequently say that if Lincoln were alive today he would be a Democrat So they may end up stealing him from us The Democrats name their affairs after Andrew Jackson and Thomas Jefferson Republicans by the way claim that if Jefferson were alive today hed he'd change over overto overto overto to the GOP None lione of the dead is safe It would be my guess that if Lincoln and Jefferson did come back they'd form a third party Jefferson and Jackson of course were great men and I dont don't blame the Democrats for choosing them as their patron saints It would be simply great if all the Republicans were like Lincoln an and all the Democrats were in the mold of Jackson and Jefferson Unfortunately most of us are of less heroic proportions But still it wouldn't seem quite right for the Democrats to hold dinners in honor of Franklin Franklin Fran Fran- klin Pierce or for the Republicans to cause the Congress to adjourn so we could pay tribute to Ulysses S. S Grant Graat and Warren G. G Harding We need the higher standard of a Lincoln and a Jefferson and a Jackson to which we can repair |