Show 0 F Webster 8 says a y s potpourri pronounced po re pu re pu-re a miscellaneous collection This Is potpourri week A sum sum- nation of a collection of random thoughts a few witticisms weve we've wiped swiped ped and other odds and enda ends are cluttering pages of the notebook Uke LIke the guy who told us the theother other r day that his wife had run away way with his best friend What I did he look like was like was Jie handsome we asked I I dont don't know know know-I've Ive I've never met Or the one that used to be ny and has now become a truism The young medical student student stu dent told his Illiterate father he heji ji Wended Intended ended to become an duWal du Wal Wai sonny his Pa replied 1 I 1 1 I aint sure about them things You 1011 spend lots of time and money to be one of them kind of doctors and fore long some pome durn come along with a cure fer It Darned It they aint Some wit has hu noted that George Washington may never have told a He lie but but he never had a Form 1040 to fill out Said one beatnik girl to another another an an- other Margie made such a beautiful beau bride her bride her sweater matched her sneakers And speaking of marriage the guys guy's wife told him the other day she understood they'd dropped the word obey In the wedding ceremony To which he replied Too bad that that used to lend a little humor to the occasion I A brat Is la a child that acts acta like yours does but belongs to a neighbor Then there was the Texas Texas housewife who said to her hus hus' husband husband band Dear would you get the car out and drive the youngsters to the backyard to play Hear about the guy who drove up to a downtown parking parkIng park park- Ing lot Jot the other day In a dilapidated dilapidated dil dil- dilapidated old car and the attendant attendant attend attend- ant said Bald Two bits The driver looked up wearily and replied Sold The wife met the TV repairman at the door and said Its okay now noll de dont need you Wed We'd put on each oth others other's rs r's glasses s by mistakes mis mis- mistake take takes Psychological phenomenon Troubles In marriage often start when a man man Is la so busy earning I his salt that he forgets his sugar It was Napoleon himself who once said An army of Jackasses led by a lion Is more effective than Ihan an army of or lions with an II BBS ass S for a leader Hear about the two sheep grazIng grazing graz graz- ing lag In the medow Baa Baa aaa aa aaa said the first sheep said the second mean asked asked ask ask- ed the first Im studying a foreign language language langu langu- age agel A Communist country coun country country try Is one on-e where everything that Isn't lent forbidden I Is compulsory You can figure youre you're pretty unimportant when you make a mistake and nobody notices it They tell about the panhandler who collapsed on the street A crowd gathered and a little old lady said Give the poor man a drink of or whiskey Give him some air several men shouted Give him a drink of whiskey the little old lady repeated Call an ambulance someone suggested Give him a drink of whiskey said the little old lady There was a babble of voices with everyone expressing an Idea when n the panhandler sat bolt upright and shouted Will you ou oil nil shut up and listen to the little old lady I I Overheard In a I I between two tuo elderly gentlemen i Before you decide to retire 1 stay home for a week and watch the daytime TV shows I Then there was a shapely blonde who said the other day j I that she preferred short skirts It makes the men look better 1 I she explained That was the same girl someone some some- someone one said reminded him of Venus de Milo beautiful but not all there j I Weve We've heard of lots of ways to get even but one of the best was wasat wasat I. I at a mystery play staged In Salt Sail Lake not long ago The man bought a ticket then collared the usher and asked to tobe tobe tobe be seated w way y down front He lie I promised a substantial tip tip said said he Just loved mysteries but I couldn't enjoy them If he wasn't right close to the stage When he was seated In the I front row he handed the usher a athin I thin dime Which prompted the usher to tolean tolean tolean lean over and whisper to him The butler did it I IThen Then there was the frustrated I mother who listened to her children cull chI I Idren dren crying looked at the i j of dirty dishes and sighed I I I I I I I I I I I I I I Sometimes I 1 wish Id I'd loved and Eagle lost Jim Cornwell Murray II |