Show Something ing For Everyone By BERT BOYACK A A. A A. A A By BERT BOYACK Leonard Lyons in his IDS The Lyons Den told of one of the most touching tributes to the late Walt Disney The Hollywood Club called The Losers Losers' each week posts a sign outside the club naming someone as loser closer of the Week When Disney died the sign under Loser of the Week simply stated Children of the World I They Lament by Georgie Jessel Help a girl forget her troubles and shell she'll never forget you you especially when she's in trouble again I lirA A A bridge table is the only place Ive I've seen where a wife is I usually eager to do her husbands husband's husbands husband's husbands husband's hus hus- bands band's bidding Charles Goren B Unsurpassed Bashfulness ss- ss ed Wilfred was not notoriously 0 r i 0 u sly bashful in the presence of the opposite sex so his IDS parents were pleased but surp surprised r i sed when he announced he was headed headed headed head head- ed downtown to see a girl He was back however within the hour Youre You're home mighty early son observed his mother you see her Sure did enthused Wilfred Wilfred Wilfred Wil Wil- fred and if I hadn't ducked down an alley shed she'd have seen me An unusually understanding wife received a call from the towns town's gossip who said I saw your husband at the beach walking walking walking walk walk- ing along with a very attractive blonde on his arm Well what would you expect him to have on his arm at his and shovel age age a a pail III WITTY TIDBITS The leader of a band fired the drum player saying Take your drum and beat it Many a ahome ahome ahome home has been broken up by an idle roomer He stayed too long One small state has a law against killing kUling the common fly reason fly reason it is the state bird may think It silly to say a cow gives buttermilk buttermilk buttermilk butter butter- milk but what else can a cow give butter milk A A wife vUe was drowning in the sea her husband threw her a bar of soap so it would wash her back One scotch b bachelor buys the clothes that need no ironing then fills his pocket with soap and walks through a car wash You are a when you can sit in the family I room relax if you can and look at all her favorite tv programs Theme song for all US U.S. Post Offices To each His Zone The elderly I judge was criticized for marrying marrying marrying marry marry- ing a younger woman This is not fai fair r he should be judged by what he does on the bench not in the chamber The name of the tv show the Price is Right may be changed to Is Is That the Best You Can Do A A person cant can't starve in inthe inthe inthe the desert because of the sandwich sandwich sandwich sand sand- is there The opposite of floor wax is ceiling wax A parrot buyer insisted on one that was polly unsaturated A baby tiger is called a liger but if it has a ger german man father it itis itis itis is called a luger Teenager to Im Jm boyfriend knitting you youa a sweater as a surprise for your birthday what size do you take Limerick A vessel has sailed from Chicago Chicago Chicago Chi Chi- cago With barrels of pork for fora a cargo For Boston she's bound I Preceded Ive I've found By another with beans from near Fargo The kindly old lady stopped before the blind man on the corner corner corner cor cor- ner fumbled in her purse and then gave him a two dollar two hill Lady said the blind man two dollar bills is bad luck I Aint yuh got gol two ones I Mercy how did you know it I was a two-dollar two bill if youre you're blind I 1 aint blind lady Its It's my partner that's blind Dis is his Ws day off of an hes he's at de movies Me Im I'm a deaf mute One elderly couple thought it was time they should have a closer physical contact so they moved their pictures on the wall closer together And one elderly couple got married at age 89 and 93 and they spent their wedding night getting out of the car For the LAST WORD THIS TINS WEEK may the writer leave you with this thought Vandals In committing their acts of vandalism vandalism vandalism van van- may worry about being seen but there has not been a microscope yet invented to see people that small |