Show S T T T T T T Something For Everyone By BERT BOYACK ji 1 to v W T IF T T T T T r- r By BERT BOYACK j 1 j 1 r am about to make public i i 1 appearances appearances throughout the US U.S. ff r One of the cities Included will pC w be Hershey Pa They dont don't pay r much money but they sure gi give ve l you a lot of candy Liberace f and and- f 1 Did you know that Liberace's 4 r r first name Is Walter and his I second Is Valentino because his r- r mother was a great fan of ther the f r great idol b i e t I. I Teenager to friend Well that lets out the they t k wont won't accept any collect calls C 1 j either either- a r tI t I l 1 y A Twist on Paying Up the Mortgage l After years of scrimping and J f saving for the mortgage par payments payments pay pay- r ments husband says to wife a fJ We Ve only r have 24 more pay- pay 4 t V ments meets to make on the house house we we I II I J had better move soon before we h get stuck with with this this crummy tumble down shack PHILOSOPHER PETE PETEr r I I Id I'd my hand thought try my hand at selling leopards but business I was too spotty WITTY TIDBITS If It you are area a taxidermist assistant and you your y r stuff your pockets you may get j fired Gov Ronald Regan is even changing our sayings InC In- In ff 1 C r- r stead of how bow now Brown cow cow cow- the children are saying how bow r now Ron Cow Cowl CowA A certain man was so fat when he was a kid he had the ten y f mumps days before anyone knew Mothers of little girls who dont don't like pills could buy beads to match and both will be liked A recent recent recent re- re cent topic of discussion Is a guaranteed income but to each ofus oft of 4 t us the main concern is the out go A dull character is one who leaves home at age 38 his hisA A paper route and everything At a local hoe boe down one man i brought a hoe and a rake ake showed up There Is a retired farmer of wealth who used to get up atthe at the crack of dawn but now he F closes the crack and goes back to bed There is a new novelty l' l I. I powder puff when held up to the light shows Marlon B Brando rando making love to an Avon lady A AJ J hill billy from the south bragged for years ears he was a grade graduate he was sure embarrassed when f friends r Ie n d s found out he was a 3rd grade dropout The hardest work done before breakfast Is up Short Mini Mint Jokes One watcher of the mihi skirt says cynically They show too much ankle How about a dog fur knee pad to cover the bare knees of miniskirt mini mint miniskirt skirt wearers One young girl finally decided to buy a mini skirt but was disappointed disappointed dis dis- appointed and settled for a max maxI maid skirt Last word for mini skirts the end is in sight I But aut you dont don't understand understand- explained the coed to the usher at the college play playas as he led her down the orchestra aisle I r have a box seat Ju JuLke kt coat on the h husher usher adv advised s S and g no 1 one will notice it The apartment was vacant but the landlord was very finicky about whom it was rented to toOne One day a young chap appeared Any MAny children radios phonographs phonographs phonographs graphs cats dogs or pets of any kind asked the landlord No the young man an an- an a But ut I think I ought to tell you I have a fountain pen that scratches a little The old cronies who had ar argued argued argued ar- ar gued nearly every day for 20 years were finally prevailed upon by a third party to make makeup makeup I up and stop their habitual bick bick- ering The friend asked them to join him in a bar They all sat down to a peaceful peace peace- I ful lul drink and one of the old ac acquaintances acquaintances acquaintances ac- ac proposed a a toast Heres wishing you all aU that youre you're wishing me mp he said Aha MAha- MAha growled his old ene- ene ene ene- my So you want to start all aU allover allover over again do you May the writer leave you with this thought as the LAST WORD THIS TillS WEEK Never judge people that you m meet e along the way by the places where they come from and the houses where they stay |