Show I Kathleen Norris Says Mothers Law in Lutu Should Remain n Aloof Bell Syndicate Service t 1 y F My Myson son Dons Don's interest in a woman quickly developed into an infatuation in fatu that swept everything thing else aside 1 I had hoped it would end when the voyage I ended She came to Brooklyn and he saw her ber every et rr day By KATHLEEN NORRIS HE sons of all the other THE mothers I know have married decently writes a despairing mother from Brooklyn Sometimes they haven't especially liked the girls but invariably they hey have been fine girls ambitious to tomake tomake tomake make good homes have children chil chil- children children dren help their husbands in every way they can Only e mine has lost all his bearings forgotten every very everything everything thing I ever taught him or helped him to discover for himself and is planning a marriage that will wreck his life and alienate him from me for for- forever forever forever ever Let me tell you a little of his background Both his father and grandfather were well-known well doc doc- tors My father was a musician my mother belonged to one of the finest old families of Kentucky Don lost his father when he was three and I gave my whole life to him His friends were the children of my friends I tried in every way to keep him simple and unspoiled for his beauty and charm were no no- noticeable noticeable noticeable from the first We spent many summers in Europe where he perfected his languages We were in in Europe when the war broke out It was with great difficulty that I obtained a cabin for the home trip We had no sooner gone on onboard onboard onboard board than Don brought to me a ayoung ayoung young woman with a small boy Don was then 26 the woman admits ad ad- admits admits mits being five years and I think is at least le st eight years ears older than he She is beautiful the divorced wife of an Austrian count herself American born of Swedish and Eng Eng- English English English lish parents Married at Sixteen We found out much later that her mother had been in a circus and that she herself had been married at 16 to a man she divorced also Don insisted on this first meeting that she and the child move into the cabin with me while he found a bunk somewhere else and I con con- I have blamed myself a thou thou- thousand thousand thousand sand times for this because Dons Don's interest quickly developed into an infatuation that swept everything else aside I had thought that with the end of the voyage it must end but she came to Brooklyn lived near us and he saw her every day He gave her the money for her divorce from the Austrian gave her hera a great deal more than he could af af- afford afford af- af afford ford bought her everything for which she showed the slightest whim He paid over 2000 for med med- medical medical medical ical attention for the child Now you would think if she decided de de- decided de- de decided upon a third marriage it would be to my poor infatuated boy bo Not at all nIl While spending Dons Don's money at Reno she met a man ninn who was she said the only man mm she ever had loved and she married him there My poor Don attempted suicide we found him unconscious Transfusions saved his life l e. e I took him to Mexico feeling that I would rather live there the rest of my life l e ethan than expose him again to this siren sirenA sirenA sirenA A month ago he left me without taking leave-taking joined her and is liv liv- living living living ing with her now caring for her herand herand herand and the child in a flat in New Jer Jer- sey Her marriage to her third hus hus- husband husband us- us band he says can be proved illegal ille ille- illegal illegal gal and nd that as soon as she is free freethey freethey freethey they they are to be married Meanwhile as os she is quite ill and should have an nn operation he is caring cari g for fo her bringing her trays washing dishes going to market I followed him up attempted to see se him to reason reason with him But he is determined to tomake tomake tomake make her his wife I need not tell you what agony of spirit this causes me mc She S e will 1 MUST STEP ASIDE The time has come conic says Kath Kathleen K th Teen leen Ie en Norris for this Devoted Mother to step aside even though in doing so she must watch her only son risk his hap hap- happiness happiness happiness by marrying a woman already two trio times divorced There is nothing she site can do for him now And o of f course there is always a chance that he will ivill make a success of o f his marriage Then she will ivill be sorry to have with her the memory of oj harsh words and bitter recriminations Some Sonic mothers mothers-in-laiu in law are lucky enough to be needed But most mothers Kathleen Norris contin contino continues ues lies must learn that there may come conic a time when Ithen another wom- wom woman an means more to their sons titan than they do Then they must face Jace-a Jace f ace ace-a a period of loneliness before they begin to build for themselves a anew anew anew new and equally useful life Dont Don't t fail to read this story of o f a Devot Devoted ed Mother never have a child There will be bean bean bean an end to the family She will not be faithful to him or give him a ahome ahome ahome home she has already all but ru ru- ruined ruined ruined ined him she will not be satisfied until he has my modest fortune too He asks me to try to understand stand her that she is at heart only an adorable child But I understand her only too well and if that is the heart of a achild achild achild child there is something wrong with the child Is there no way that I Ican Ican Ican can stop this before it goes any fur fur- further further further ther Appeals to him have failed Is there any use in appealing to her Don used to talk of being an architect Cara wants him to go goon goon goon on the stage He has not done a aday's aday's aday's days day's serious work for more than two years I cannot stand idly by and see his life trust faith future all ruined together What can I do In answer I would say my dear Devoted Mother that in having this splendid son to yourself for the first 26 years years of his life absorbing him glorying in his constant affection tion and companionship you have had in the argot of the day about all that is coming to you Mother Should Withdraw Since there is no common ground of understanding between you and the woman he is so determined to tomake tomake tomake make his wife your only course is isto isto isto to withdraw Tell them both frank frank- frankly frankly ly that you wish them well that you want them to forgive any lack of enthusiasm or operation co-operation and that if ever they need you you will be ready And then go back to Mexico or to China or to Baffin's Bay and while at at- attempting attempting attempting build a life for yourself tempting to assimilate the bitter truth that the time comes when an an- another another another other woman is more important to a aboy aboy aboy boy than even his mother and that you are just about as necessary to Cara Carn as your mother-in-law mother was to you 30 years ago Our mothers-in-law mothers Those dim elderly dames who were to be a little considered and petted and cul cul- cultivated cultivated because it pleased darling Tom but who remained shadows still quite apart from the vital vita absorbing ab ab- absorbing absorbing interests of our young lives How little they mattered Youre You're in that place now De UDe- Devoted Devoted voted Mother and its it's for you to say whether they ever will love you or need you again For wealth is no help here In fact its it's in a poor family that grandma holds her own she is necessary there and often she really is beloved I suppose I love my own daugh daugh- daughter ter as much as I do my sons son's wife one fortunate mother-in-law mother said to tome tome tome me some years ago but Ann doesn't need me and its it's so good to tobe tobe tobe be with Jinny because she does docs |