Show t sIa THE TilE AUTO HORN SOLUTION Mayor LaGuardia of New York it I in fn another campaign against auto automobile automobile mobile horns but make makel the same mistake others make he thinks anything can be done don about auto horns except abolishing the darned things Campaigns I tc soften the notes decrease the vo vol volume volume ume and dilute the pitch are arc silly An auto horn is an auto horn an any way you take it the human thum being what it is today T f V x I 1 J Caricature of Mayor LaGuardia LaGuardi by Jack Rosen which won first prize recently in Waldorf-Astoria Waldorf employ employees ees exhibition in arts and crafts The mere presence of a horn on onan onan onan an automobile transforms a driver drivel into a speed maniac a pig and 3 a fathead with the manners of a die and the ethics of a gangster S SHe He can own a revolver without the slightest yen to use it he can possess a shotgun without the least leas impulse to use it but put an auto automobile mobile horn under his control and he becomes a potential potentia assassin with all the instincts of a hungry hyena It is the horn said Elmer Elmei Twitchell today that gives an auto aute owner the Nero complex shucks shuck shuc him of all remnants of civilized im impulses im- im impulses pulses and makes him a plain damned fool filled with the idea that all he has to do is to press pres the button to make the whole world jump I dont don't care whether it is a loud horn or a soft horn a bass horn or a acanary acanary acanary canary a blaster or a boop a er nothing can prevent the owner from rom making a nuisance a. a out of it and Mayor LaGuardia is s suffering from drooping intelligence if he thinks otherwise All the reckless driving all the violations of automobile laws all the disrespect for the rights of other highway users and most of the auto accidents are due to the horn and to nothing else Take that horn of the car and the driver would be forced to depend on common sense Back in the horse and buggy days you didn't see teams crashing into one another at every crossroad or wobbling all over the road at breakneck speed did you And why not Because they never had horns on horses Yes sir this world started go go- going going ing savage the day the first horn was clamped to a gasoline vehicle It started swelling up with inconsiderateness inconsiderateness self-importance self and the with to-hell-with-everybody-else spirit the first time an auto designer put a button under a car owners owner's calloused thumb It converted a nation of tol tole tolerant tolerant going easy-going kindly folks into a country of mannered bad-mannered jittery wild-riding wild mean and homicidal dogs It made bigger and better hospitals the never-ceasing never need of o America And there will be no change un until un- un until til the horn is removed made un unconstitutional unconstitutional constitutional and plowed under for all time Man wont won't be so reckless so selfish and so pigheaded once he has to depend on brakes instead of oi breach of the peace CHILBLAINS Dont rush the season says the theman theman theman man Who claims he likes winter sports But yesterday I caught him with withA A folder on Southern resorts Doris Irving SHORT snORT STORY A motor car A little horn A human thumb And peace is gorn porn Women's hats for spring and sum summer mer are being taken from the old family album Instead of out of old numbers of Puck and Judge A New Jersey court holds that anybody walking on a moving escalator esca esca- escalator escalator lator does so at his or her own risk Not only that but it looks so darned silly Elmer Twitchell in our opinion always had the right idea on esca esca- escalators escalators escalators and energy conservation He always sits down on them |