Show what what Q t thinks about MONICA CALIF SANTA Maybe the English have the right idea The Reds spout as they please please so so long as they stay off the radio and take it out in spouting Theres There's a story in point In Hyde Park where the crack crack- crackpots crackpots pots and Jaws clack 4 a N speak their pieces an Impassioned radical Is In full eruption Be Be- Being BeIng Belag ing lag a n hater of or kings he would drive the royal family forth and andset andset set fire tire to their official London residence A heckler quarrels with the orator om tor the crowd joins In about equally divided trouble Im- Im Irvin S. S S Cobb A large calm policeman plows through the Jam to Ere now I he commands All them as Is going to burn down Buck Bucl- Buckingham Buckingham ingham palace form fonn on this side please All them as Is not going to burn down Buckingham palace kindly ly form formon on that side When you start people laughing lau at atau atall au all agitator agi youve you've killed him colder than though thou h you used an ax I wish wed we'd club In and laugh some of our half baked Communists to death But for desperate cases we might keep an anax anax anax ax or two handy Rise of Landon Boom S ONE state delegation after an nn- another another AS A other swings toward Landon his campaign managers are as ns optimistic as ns a seed catalogue To be sure taking the first heat doesn't necessarily mean your nag will win the county trophies but It certainly does docs cheer up the sta sta- hands ble-hands hands and and sometimes starts a stampede for front seats In the grand gran stand For once In G. G 0 O. P P. history the rank and file shun a brother from the Atlantic seaboard as though he were a At the ensuing convention It looks as though thou h all the easterners will get will willbe willbe willbe be the the seconding conces conces- sion And yet I can remember when If tr you called a fellow a Wall Street Re Re- Republican Republican publican you didn't dl nt have ha to smile as you said It War Debt Specters I and a half million European FIVE troops are drilling and seven mil million lion more are practically ready for tor service more by one million lon and anti a half than there were In 1914 1014 when the last big mess broke out Those Americans who are being grievously grIevously grievously taxed because the powers wont won't pay back what they have owed us since the armistice for refinancing and re re- rehabilitating rehabilitating rehabilitating habilitating their own lands lands and and that one way or another Includes every living liv lIv- living lIvIng ing soul In this country country are are Invited to save up these statistics for use next neat time they meet one of those gentle gentIe souls who'd cancel these the e mounting for for- foreign foreign eign debts Not war debts mind you OU but time peace debts So lets let's call them by their right name as ns we sing I 1 didn't raise my dough dou h to arm a n soldier but by golly that's what happened to It IL It Idlers on Relief T LAST we life know wherein the AT Ar Ci League of ot Nations really It keeps a n good set of statistics It says that in the world are unemployed lI and of or this total more than half are arc In the United States Since we are spending more govern govern- government gov government rn ment funds to aid the Idle than any country can It be there are persons among us who prefer staying on relief projects to taking regular Jobs joos Next time I pass a public works un un- undertaking Undertaking Im I'm going oln to put the ques ques- question question question tion to some bodied able party who If hes he's following the frequent custom will be whiling away the die hours be be- between between tween en meals by gently fanning himself with a n shovel A pick handle han le as Ive I've often orten observed I Ion on one road-digging road operation that's being financed by oy Uncle Sam comes In handy for tor leaning purposes but the shovel Is preferable for fanning Kentucky Colonel UT here they've found a or mail OUT O der theological theolo mill which for 10 ordains you to t preach christen marry bury hury and oh and oh take Boodle goodie take up collections Mickey Mouse 1 lately lost his commission as a Kentucky ky colonel but on behalf of Joe Penner's duck somebody wrote In and he became the Rev Googoo D D. D. D Thus Ibus are honors balanced In this world Recently when the present bumper bomp r crop of Kentucky colonels was plowed under we natives stayed calm No No- Nobody Nobody Nobody body takes away our titles titles we we were born with em In my youth anybody y good at nt guessing the weight of hogs was called Judge and a n man who cured warts with stump water was Doctor and all nn the rest of ot us auto automatically were colonels except ono one chap chup who was a major on account of ot having so many major operations Poor fellow he died before he attained his hie lifes life's ambition He lie wanted to rut rug somebody's general store and be a general genera IRVIN S. S COBS COBB ht B Service |