Show Ili p o Now New York Post Post Let Guest Tell of Tribulations as Sports Ed Ernest L. L Meyer who writes the column columnAs As At l lo the UJ o Crow Flies takes over Hugh Bradley Bradleys assignment today to discuss his trials and tribulations while acting as sports editor o 0 f a family journal m e jew f few few- fewa quite a few years few back By ERNEST L. L MEYER EVERY E VERY time I read Hugh Bradleys Bradley's sparkling department I recall my myown own awn wn and not very scintillating career as ae 8 sports editor I recall It without difficulty but not without pain It happened about 18 years ago when I was doing general assignments for forthe forthe forthe the d defunct Milwaukee Daily Dally News and could be found most any hour of the I day peacefully sleeping on a davenport the club It that at Press seems our regular sports editor after ruminating about bout life lIr all evening at the Schlitz Palm Garden was seized by a hanker hanker- hankerIng hankerIng hankerIng Ing for travel He left Immediately on the midnight freight with a quart of gin and never came back We never heard from him again When I drifted Into the office the fol fol- following following lowing day with a yarn arn about the em- em embalmers embalmers' embalmers embalmers' convention the city editor a ruthless person named Dean Kirk grabbed me Youre sports editor he said Im not I objected I dont don't know a boxing glove from a pneumatic bi bicycle bi- bi bicycle bicycle cycle seat Cant help it Youve You've got to fill In till we make other arrangements Dust out to the ball grounds now and phone In the dope for the sports pink I dusted yearning for a nap on my favorite couch at the Press club The Ibe wooden seats In the press box on top of the grand stand were devilishly hard I asked Art who covered sports for the Evening Wisconsin how the tile deuce one writes up a ball game Easy he said Never call a ball balla a ball or a home bome run a home run I 1 got the idea A good sports writer In those days would call a baseball a pellet a horsehIde a globule a pill or ora ora ora a spheroid If he called it a baseball his readers wouldn't know what he was talking about Somehow I struggled through a whole month without calling a home run a home run so my stories were always alwa s 's lucid and readily comprehend ed On one occasion however Dean Kirk called me What he be said does this mean 7 He pointed to a sentence In my yarn which read Southpaw Master spat Into his upholstery wound his hi hefty left up like a windmill In a Missouri tornado and then shot over a Smith Brothers Why that I explained patiently means he threw a drop I lud hied never ne In my life Ute seen a boxing match But the managers and fighters used to drop In ask for the sports edi edi- editor editor editor tor and hand me large fat tat cigars Ballet Bouncing rf Vs V s. s What chance has my man Wildcat Levinsky got against Kid fad Cuckoo the manager would ask me as man to man And I would lean over and say con confidently confidently Listen Mr Molloy The kid wont won't have a chance once he runs Into that right ham of your fighting windmill The Kids Kid's good at dancing you under- under understand understand understand stand but his ballet bouncing wont won't help him once Wildcat connects with his Sure that's Just how I got It sized up It'll be a cinch the manager would say and hand me a couple more cigars greatly pleased at my expert opinion Then the manager for Kid Cuckoo would breeze In and say Now about this match Friday night I Dye Dyo think Wildcat Levinsky has a a look look-In with my bird T Listen Mr Solomons I would re re- reply reply re- re reply ply seriously heres what I think Wildcat wont won't have haye a chance once be he runs into that right ham barn of your fight fightIng fighting Ing windmill Wildcats Wildcat's good at toe dancing you understand but his ballet ballel bouncing wont won't help him once Kid Cuckoo connects with his bis Now youre you're talking I Mr Solomons Solomona would shout Then hed he'd give me three or r four rich ripe stogies It was fun being sports editor Everything was rosy till the big match came off Ive I've forgotten the de de- de- de tails All that I J remember is that in inthe Inthe inthe the third round one ono of the fighters lighters did make male a connection with the mer I fainted Next day one of the tho fellows on an another other sheet had a funny feature story with the headline Sports Editor Knocked Out In Third THINGS Pr the box score never tol tol f me ma Persons Interested Interested In keeping th the Olympics out of Germany should In- In Investigate investigate the case Cise of Baron Daron Gottfried von on Cramm the Davis Cup star Originally nally It had been arranged that Don Don- Donald Donald ald aid Budge and Gene Mako Make were to play In n the German tennis championships championship and In return the baron was to come com cometo cometo to the United States for the nationals Then the trade fell through and now It t seems that not only will the Ger Ger- German German German man star be prevented from coming t to t. this his country but also ho he will be barred from the 1936 trophy team as Dr Dan- Dan Danel DanIel Daniel Iel el Prenn was this year The reason Could It be that Hitler discovered ered that the baroness was Jew Jew- Jewish JewIsh Jewish ish and that therefore the baron must be Nazi anti and unfit to represent his hla native country in a sports event Lester Doctor betting commissioner for the has handled more money than any man mano yr i o n nth the e racetracks jt f Payne Whitney wa wu was the biggest plunger of i the tribe To make i sure that Art La Luky Lasky sky s I would work himself back into condition Brother Manager B ro rot t h e r- r Manager S Maurice put the heavyweight heavy heavy- heavyweight heavyweight weight on the Los An An- Angeles Angeles Angeles geles water works pay paT payroll paye e roll at 4 a day Dizzy Dean In spite of or Bill nm Terry Terrys rule against Giants J talking to to Dizzy Dean Hughle Hu and Allyn Stout still bandy words with the pitcher Stout once was a team team- teammate teammate teammate mate of the elder Dean and so natural natural- naturally ly cannot be prevented from saying Howdy now v and then Critz Crux hits Dizzy so hard so well we and so often that it would be a crime to prevent him from crowing a bit about It Certainly the dizzy one does more than his share sharif of crowing George Throws Out Ball Players Too seven Forty-seven baseballs with a whole whole- wholesale wholesale wholesale sale value of were lost In the tho crowd during a St St. Louis Louls night game this summer The Tha Yankees because the stands are so convenient that 60 balls often have dis dis- disappeared disappeared disappeared appeared during one game spend from to for baseballs each season This is the biggest bill inthe In Inthe Inthe the American league the other clubs averaging about George Moriarty says that he throws out more moro baseballs during a season than any other umpire That Is largely because he figures quite correctly that when an overhand pitcher sails Ills the ball there must be something wrong with it He recalls one Boston game where he had to throw out only four balls though and Nick Altrock will tell you that he used only one ball while pitch pitch- pitching pitchIng ing a game for the White Sox back in 1906 1905 or 1907 Could It be that the Hearst charities and Jack Curley the wrestling pro pro- promoter promoter moter rooter are planning to go In for pro pro- professional professional tennis Or could It be those tho e youthful reporters who have been left out In the cold on the prize fight fi ht pro pro- promoting promoting mating end of the newspaper business were merely kidding when they spoke of big dough while tempting Fred Perry to perform at Yankee stadium after the national championships The tip off on U. U S. S Cs C.'s football pro pros pros- may be found in the tho fact that the Trojans have booked a game with Hawaii university at Honolulu for New Years Year's day Although he breeds sad sad- saddle saddle dle die horses that win blue ribbons at na na- national national national shows and although he Is a trot trot- trotting trotting ting tang race devotee Bill Brown the box- box boxIng boxIng boxing Ing commissioner never has been In Inside In- In Inside inside side any park where the thoroughbreds run for money Are the Yankees sure that Joe Di Dl Maggio the outfielder out elder who will come from San Francisco Seals In the spring Is Js not another of or those athletes with trick knees a n la Ia Steve e llamas Hamas The daughter of Steve ONeill O'Neill Cleveland Cle manager won a prize this year Jear for or be be- being beIng ing lag the best around all athlete at a girls' girls school The most reckless of all a lighters fighters when driving an nn auto auto- automobile automobile automobile mobile Is Paulino Uzcudun He doesn't res e i 4 DS ID j 6 i think he Is moving unless be he Is dolD doing 75 miles per hour bour Danno OMa OM honey lioney hone the wrestling champion has haa a brother named of all a names Florence Signs posted over the tho Saratoga race race- racetrack racetrack racetrack track call attention to section of the New York penal code concerning bookmaking and pool selling This l Is the tho first time that the signs signa have ap ap- appeared appeared appeared and It Is I. a reminder that th the game still Is I. not quite legal here Also It may be that there Is consider consider- considerable considerable able tension between the Jockey club and the Racing commission the latter group taking too much for granted by by- building betting booths forbidden I IN INthe the law K O. O Christner now operates on one of or Akron's most prosperous tobacco shops Phil Douglas is la pitching semi pro pro ball around Chicago He twirls for the Mills team which has bas produced such celebrated south side athletes as Jocko J ko Conlan of ot the White Sox and Johnny McCarthy of the Dod era e AI Al Vanderbilt some people call hire him hi Alfred Gwynne Gwynn Vanderbilt Is one of the few wealthy owners who get u up early carl to watch their horses train i F Ij |