Show 5 L BY T CAM P JQ NEW YORM YORK A farewell to broadway goodby good by you gaudy circus of 01 splendor lies iles and lights A merry mask lor for heartbreak of gin and jazz and nights farewell you painted fainted lady you and youre hurrying pack ill think of you occasionally and wish that I 1 were backi IF ONLY george bell that his name had been arrested on a criminal charge alter after several months at liberty on ball bail tho the grand lury jury heard his case bell went home to await their decision I 1 that was on a friday he waited an eternity of mental agony through a sleepless friday night through a long long saturday and tha th maddening slow hours or of night when sunday dawned he be told himself he be could stand the ordeal no longer he shot himself that night in a hospital he died meanwhile down at the post postoffice offIce a letter waited for ditri it was just a brief note signed by the prosecuting attorney it informed or was intended to inform the accused man that the jury had tailed failed to indict him ELY SPEAKING in this town 0 of incurable wisecrackers wise crackers professor einstein during hla h Is recent visit showed that he Is no back number himself harassed tor for a concise explanation of hla his relativity theory he finally broke down as follows it if a man holds a good looking girl in his lap tor for an hour it seems like a minute but if he sits on a red hot stove tor for a minute it seems like on an hour that a relativity I 1 GOING TOO VAR FAR notwithstanding there wits was no excuse tor for art an incident that happened a few nights ago I 1 alfriend A hilend dropping in at my pe agreen spied a humorous college magazine on a table the yellow jacket I 1 said swell little mag my brother Is one of the editors hip hoorays the smartest exclaimed at last a writer in the family I 1 HELP A little group of serious drinkers were in argument the conversation turned phill philosophical all right hiccup ed one of the stews addressing a newspaper man next to him all right what have YOU done tor for the world r mee lve me came a the instant rejoinder why I 1 sold old advertising for the world THE HEIGHT OF SOMETHING every small boy at some stage of his bis I 1 career has a consuming ambition to i become a cowboy later his ambition Is to be a railroad engineer but my i great suppressed desire was different I 1 wanted to ride through the streets ol of monroe georgia in clown costume playing sweet bosle ogrady on oil a steam calliope maybe I 1 missed my calling all who agree with me please signify by no never mind new york recently witnessed tor for the first time a complete circus presented on a theatre stage the jolson theatre in ath avenue was remodeled tor for the event the stage being enlarged and the floor braced to support the weight of elephants et cetera but something was lacking there was no big mysterious tent pitched on the vacant lot down by the water works no exciting street parade headed by a bellowing calliope no rumble of re red and d allt cages seething with ferocious lions and aad wildcats no sawdust balloons red lemonade no stella she eats ern em alive 1 |