Show records brownings Brow sings reports from washington say bay that we ha have V e recovered irom from the th ewar war but a lot of us would uke like to know what we recovered reus 0 49 0 40 suggested ad for some drug store we furnish red cheeks tor for the women and red noses lor for the men 0 lie smells no aristocracy pa what are ancestors well son eon im one ot of yours and your grandfather Is another rum hum I 1 dont see why folks brag about them 0 0 O wants to work up sam mills one ot of our progressive local tanners farmers recently hired a new hand who was rather inexperienced when the tha time arrived to do the chores sam said bald to him come on now and ill teach you how to milk a cow as how im so BO new at this said bald the new hand band dont you think id better start on the calf 10 aw 40 it Is said that widows no longer refer to their late husbands but to their latest verdict unavoidable accident it Is reported that bill wortley our highly respected local citizen was once tried tor for manslaughter these are the details we connot cannot however vouch loi for their accuracy while mr wortley was abroad he arranged a visit to scotland there he decided to play the part of the benefactor of sports and offered a a five dollar prize tor for a diving contest there were five entrants all native Scotch men the prize was to go to the one who remained under water longest all five Scotch men were drowned aw 41 lie ile passed in diplomacy pa you offered me it if I 1 passed in school yes bon well you aint a gonna have that expense 11 4 0 0 the chief ceremony in the future in conne connection tion with golden wedding anniversaries versalles ver saries sarles it Is said bald Is the payment of the last installment on the wedding ring 0 0 O the man who constantly deceives hla his wife says joe salmon Is a genius 10 4 A stranger appeared frequently at one ot of the graves and was seen to weep copiously one day the caretaker approached him and in a sympathetic tone of voice abbed A close relative you have lost no A dear friend then no I 1 never knew him in my me life then why are you so sorrowful why his passing was a great I 1 loss 2 ss to me he was my cifes first husband 0 40 0 lal for non support first society matron my husband gives me the best he be can afford second the brute you ought to get a divorce 10 aw when lie he was a little fellow ho he wished his father owned a candy store now he be wishes he owned a filling station i back at him we overheard this on one of our streets recently but tor for obvious reasons we must withhold the names of the principals when are you going to pay back the ten bucks you borrowed when did I 1 borrow money from you once when you were drunk well I 1 paid it back when once when you wore were drunk flapper ideal the purpose ot of rouge and powder Is of f course to beautify but sometimes their use has an opposite effect this to la especially true of girls in their teens who use makeup make up in order to appear more om 40 40 the fellow who does nothing for others remarks jim don usually gets it returned with interest 11 0 O both extinct yes said bald the old bachelor wearily 1 I would have married but I 1 spent so BO i many years trying to find the ideal woman did you find her yes finally but she was looking tor for the ideal man 0 1111 A big order in sight guy robinson had a rather particular customer the other day she was looking at t linoleum finally we heard him say well madam that Is all we have in tock stock but we can get something more trem from the factory I 1 1 I wish you would came the answer you see I 1 want something unique to lor m my y bird cage 00 0 0 all men are born equal remarks aco rosevear the difference all lies iles I 1 in n what born equal to 00 0 4 O 0 no luck T 11 II what do you think ot of these bathing beauties a rland friend asked toni tom paull while looking up irom from his paper gosh replied T H 1 I dont know anever I 1 never one 0 0 0 0 4 0 o accuracy always A friend ot of ours oars in the newspaper business once got into a local political fight one week his paper came out with this thi headline halt half of 0 the city officials are crooks crooke A retraction was demanded and accordingly the following head bead appeared la in the next issue of his hie paper halt hall of the city officials arent crooks e 0 0 the fatal hour the other day a rather timid appearing man entered the reception room of the office of dr clements our efficient effi clent local dentist any chance for an appointment with you today doctor he asked no hope at all thank you so much he answered making a bolt for the door 0 0 no flattery ri here now madam says W A A our local photographer loot look pleasant click 1 its all over madam he continued you may now resume your natural expression george can raise anything lady in star butcher shop how much la Is this chicken george A dollar and a half balf lady did you raise it yourself george yes it was a dollar and a nd a quarter yesterday 4 0 0 0 what marshal st jeor suggests as a first step in a local safety first campaign Is a little agitation in favor of soft rubber I 1 telephone poles lil cause cauce for or tears the orchestra had just completed playing my old kentucky rome home at a rehearsal hear sal suddenly a lone man in the tha hall began to weep Wha lits ts the matter asked conductor are you a kentuckian Kentuck lan no mo im a musician 4 0 0 his hie best beat column correction in the arkansas city kanbas r as traveler please please folks I 1 sunning running the marriage license in the joke column last night was entirely unintentional tent ional and we hope will prove quite unwarranted wheres mrs grundy grondy NI 9 lity practice Is being held for the annual high school play ouch 1923 ford coupe for sale cheap by aman a man has been bumped on rear end 0 4 0 fr 0 pedestrians salute teacher now clarence name americas greatest general clarence the son of broker paxton general motors of troubles ci connubial jars and divorce this we believe Is the fruitful est source A man tails falls in love with a dimple or curl then foolishly marries the entire girl 0 0 mary had a little cram ming mang in her math to do and everywhere that mary went her algebra went too she carried it to class the day exams in progress were and since the teacher found it there we heard from froin her ham poor favers got the stage fright the other night after the first performance let how was that I 1 ham ho married her 4 0 0 01 0 11 old fashioned emily im the happiest woman in the world I 1 am marrying the I 1 men man I 1 want modern friend yes but true happl ness comes to a girl by marrying the man somebody else wants 0 O 0 artist id like to devote my latest picture to a charitable purpose pui pose critic why not give it to an institution ution tor for the blind 40 what would you give a dog to prevent its barking at night give it away 40 4 ai with one exception everything ive put money into has gone up in the air what was the exception an airship 4 tho the reason why I 1 willy III 1 I wonder why mr jones says bays his hie prayers before meals nilly have you ever seen hla his cook alk chwat late re ye lookin tort for mrs mike nothing mike athla yau aall find it in jug where the whiskey vu TO there was vw an old toper of luzon who had a most elegant buzon seven quarts of champagne chun so bo upset hla his dam bragne that he got into bed with his buaton there thera was once a young b belle Is named nell 1111 who when skating on one d day ey lell fell pe 11 and those standing near were 0 astonished to hear her cry out in her anger 0 01 1 04 4 she you look badly this morning 1 nei 1 have bavo a cold or something in my head she its probably a cold 10 0 40 40 jimmy playing in the kitchen to do something new was atchin spied the baby and with chovin got her lodged within the oven jimmy thought shed ehod make slick biscuit jimmy good to risk it 40 0 oe not anlou visitor are you anxious for your term to expire colv convict no im in tor for life to 10 little mabels hair was curly little freddy woke up early while mabel slept fred just lor for tun fun pulled every hair out one by onel one he earnestly 1 I mea mean to kiss you rind and kiss you and kiss you she bhe that would be only three times |