Show T PARK A i RECO n ly PUBLISHED FRIDAYS THE PARK RECORD CO subscription per year teara publishers st se L editor E entered ante in inthe the park city pa posto sto itice is as second class matter IOU AV 14 america Is doome doomed and Thaes that vv licci great tragedies impend im pendy ethics ven even news newspaper n r ithica must be swept aside alie th e editorial column of t thia publication always nave seen been connner to the expression 0 of opinion leaving to our news columns the r recital a of events that have occurred and abid the announcement of events to come A continuation of this thia a accepted cceal led policy is now rendered IM lail possible for we must record without delay the impending disintegration of the land we love before we are too lato late the united states is doomed and when the kra grand i nd crash comes perhaps some time next neat week weak there wont be any body to write the story there wont be any newspapers to record the fact and if there werd f course there will not be any people to read about it IL for once therefore we must beat our news editor to his game the nation has gone disaster is atthe at the door the gaunt sir skeleton eleton of ruin is abroad in the lind land this is not an opinion not an expression of our tearfulness fearfulness it is the definite def rate announcement of the distinguished hebraic authority who abo settles all questions mr israel zangwill what more can bensaid be said 7 when mr zangwill his lips lipa let no dog bark worst of all sir mr zang zangwill vill has left us to our fate gone home thanking god ho has departed without having had to see our aror nt men oh loeis woe isa As for we are in the depths mr zangwill tells us we have bavo AO no kick not even in our bootleg cocktail that our immigration and reparations 1 liches are all wrong that our hotels have too many towels in the bedrooms that we are being attacked undermined and sapped by a score of ignorant prejudices which will surely ruin us if suitable steps are not taken our typewriter shivers under our touch as we record this hu ing arraignment our nerves were shattered when we read that the coffin trust of his time had put one over on old king fing tut by slipping him into a cracked sarcophagus but this latest exposure of our great incompetence just puts us entirely out of commission we f feel eel as the puppy dog barking against thunder when we realize the humiliating fact that after all our work we are headed for obliteration there is only one ray of hope mr zangwill announces in passing that at one time he had considered b becoming ecoling a citizen of the united states he found of course that he be could not become our president whether this influenced his deci decision sidn not to save us no man can tell but it might be well for us to change the law while there is yet time and roll up a mighty petition insisting that mr zangwill head the nation and lead us into the promised land we must forget partisanship coolidge mcadoo watson underwood reed walsh yes even william jennings bryan lat ra t cafe the 1 pla plank self elf pre preservation ruck ery atlo ana demands e av avi if i zangwill tile the mas masier mastermind er armind mind must rule and liars s that at not even yet has a sensible income tax schedule been arranged arran ped what the people want is a tax arrangement that will make the oiher fellow pay double and leave us free to enjoy ourselves without burden the new woman member niema r of the british house of commons common s alfr 0 o the parliamentarians iet us see she says if we cannot to hav very every cl A i in eirl E fl ind nd alt nt un tho 3 i e floi a as the chur chidi jl f oar car princess vaulting ambition anere will it end 1 |