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Show j NSW YORK CITY.-I used to write a good deal about what I read I in the papers. But you know I been i read In a lot of these other Writer of Sundays, Sun-days, and they write mostly about themselves them-selves and they seem to be doing mighty well too. It seems that away back in Caesars or Hef-11ns Hef-11ns or some-bodys some-bodys early days there wag some I old Writer called Pepy, and all he ' did was just write what he did. J Well he dldent do much, (but write) f' for there wasent much to do in those days. Oh yes, drink. Well he had some kind of peculiar ways of saying things and his spelling was bad. (I ctuit personally stand any-, any-, , body with bad spelling, I am eff anybody that cant spell.) But this old fellow could make ' nothing sound good the way be laid it on the line. He had two expres sions, and if he just hadent happened hap-pened to use them, why none of our mgdern Writers could have copied hlra, for that all they can copy him in, they just use these two lines over again and again and think they are doing a Pepys. One was "Laye late," and the other was "Woke betimes." be-times." Well I am going to do some of that "Lay lating" and "Woke betimes." be-times." ' ' , I will start on my trip east from California a couple of weeks ago. The night before I started 1 "Lay Late." No I dldent it was two nights before I started that I Lay - late. The morning that I started i dldent lay so late. In fact 1 dldent lay hardly at all. I bad to catch an Aeroplane that was leaving away over in Burbank, Cal. (Tbats not , Burbanks home, Its Jim Jeffries) and 1 was away out at my little ranch at Santa Monica. It was leaving leav-ing around Five o'clock and you cant do much "Laying late" and make that kind of a getaway. Burbank and 01 en dale look mighty sparkling like from the early : dawn, then out over Los Angeles. Then nothing to see till we hit phoenix, orear Phoenix where the Irrigation lads start in. Those thousands thou-sands of flat squares are beautiful 1 from the air. At Phoenix was ms: by a band of Citizens that wanted me to stay over or come back to a big affair 1 where they were going to have 17 rail road Presidents at the Fruit Shippers Convention, and they was going to have a Golf Game, between the seventeen and seventeen Vice Presidents were to Caddy for tkem. Ijat would be nothing new, they have been carrying the Bag for em all the time. Tbfen on down over Tombstone, Ariz., and the next as stop was Tuscon. Another Dell- gatlon bad some kind of a "Racket" they wanted me to stop over and enter into. No ICwas Douglas where this bunch was. It was on the Mexl- can line. I wouldent have minded Stopping there. Then on to El ; Paso, bad Lunch, changed Pilots, fgot there about 1:30 P. M. about three 8ays ride on the train, then t started across Texas. Now you have started something. Oh Yes I am leaving out some of these "Woke Betimes." At each I stop I "Woke Betimes" for I slept , all the rest of the way. Well I "Lay j late" at Big Springs and like to not I "Woke Betimes" to see another Dellgatlon, that wanted to draw my attention to a 15 story brick hotel that I would pass over as we passed over the town on leaving. Assocl- Iated Press man there, and be got everything wrong but the name of the Town and misspelled It Then to Ablllne, (Sweet Ablline, My Ablline, in all my dreams). I liavent sung that old song since 1920. There I woke betimes and Amon G. Carter ' Ilmd a special Plane to meet me to take me to rj Ft. Worth. For f he dident want ; me to have to ' see Dallas. Had a nice night there, woke be- limes, met a lot tit nice folks that was going to handle my little lit-tle CharRy tour tnrough the State, then new np to TuUa. Lay late. No not there, awoke hetlmes, then caught the plane for St. Louis, was going to Chicago, but tt as both planes was pulling out Xtibed the one for Columbus, Ohio, and New York. Comedians never know what they are doing. Got to Indianapolis, was met by some Newspaper friends and Coworkers Co-workers of the Indianapolis News. Talked about Kin Hubbard, the late Humorist "Abe Martin." They told me my junk had took his old place on the back page, (which It .had occupied for 25 years) Imagine me trying to replace him. That would be like Clara Bow re Placing Mrs. Chapman Catt S) Jing, I am going to Lay late. (3 I9J1, McN'uifht Syndicate, Inc.) |