Show T Something Hy By BERT BOYACK DId you know that exercise will kIll germs Problem Is how howare are we going to get the germs to exercise Phil Foster t You Knew It All The While Where Is little lUtle Salt Lake There are two A. A large on In Iron County and a smaller one In Millard r The inventor finally finished his electronic brain Now he says to himself I am going to find the secret of youth Quick tell me my oWn invention in- in what Is the answer to this old age question Answer Respect He Should be so Smart Most of us have trouble learning learning learn learn- ing one foreign language But there was one man for whom it was really easy He was Cardinal Cardinal Cardi- Cardi nal who lived from 1774 to 1849 He could translate languages and 72 dIalects Ite u- u more than any other man manin manin in history TInS THIS IS HOW IT HAPPENED Little Miss Buffet sat on a tuffet eating her curds and whey A big black spider sat down beside her and frightened Miss l Muffet so that she ran home and told her mother that thata a man had tried to pIck her up but turned up his nose at her appearance and that was why she simply had to have that new cashmere sweater WITTY TIDBITS Old actresses actresses ac- ac tresses dont don't fade away or die they just try again The manicurIst who gets tired of holding hands day alter after day should be glad she's not a chirOpodist chiropodist chi chi- Secretary to manager And dont don't give me that promote office good will line because now Im I'm a grown woman Las Vegas is certainly more fun than a barrel barrel bar bar- rel of monkeys and it would be I even more delightful if fC you didn't wind up wearIng the barre bar bar- re If you are afraid of life and unmarried fall In love it will make you brave Some women try to hide nothing Others Simply their age Small town a place so small they cannot agree on a favorite son Dont make fun of a large nose It Is a sign of intelligence In- In and like one ma man Ja has said One good nose lasts me for for a We k C never run down Bye Birdie Birdle is a familiar the song President says thIs each morning as he kIsses his wife goodbye One man before draft had a aheart heart Mummer his heart Mummer kept saying Dont go dont don't go One erudite professor of English states that he has read the dictionary several several sev- sev eral times But he doesn't think it has much of ofa a plot Most accidents at home happen In the bathtub so lC you drink dont don't bathe A A bull fighter In Spain after a bull fight cut up the bull and ate it it He opened his mouth They shot him Moral Mor- Mor al Dont Don't open your mouth when youre you're full of bull A certain young gallant named Robbie Rode his steed back and forth in inthe the lobby When they told hIm hImIn In dorrs Is not a place for a horse He replied Well Vell you see its it's my hobby Jill you look like a million dollars Jack you never saw a million dollars Jill That's what I you mean look like somethIng I never saW before Examiner What makes you think youre you're qualified for a position In our diplomatic corps Applicant Yell Well Ive I've been married 20 years ears and my wife still thinks I have a sIck SMART SUE The Th hardest job In all the world that beats the one of shIrking is when a fellow tries to live without a abit bit bitof of working One of 01 the oldest boy and girl storIes took place several thousand thousand thou thou- sand years ago when a Greek man about town dreamed he had hada a love affair alfair with a famous and andI beautiful playgirl After Arter he regaled re- re I led his friends about his enjoyment enJoyment en- en she sued him for her herI I regular lee fee of 1000 per night and the jUdge delivered a classic decision His ruling was the only equity wOuld be for her to dream she had been paid LAsT WORD FOR THIS WEEK When you are blue and down In Inthe inthe I the dumps bring me a just wrecked one oner |