| Show the basement basemen t philosopher by KENNETT HARRIS I 1 I 1 1911 1913 by W 0 cahpman Cb pinn with a dragging footstep and a general air of lassitude the janitor en aured tho the boiler room and seated himself in tho the dilapidated rocker near the furnace first ejecting his scandinavian assistant who had been dozing doling in that particular seat ila ho wd this by tilting the chair abruptly forward and sliding tho the stupefied underling on to the cement floor door la Is that the way you watch the gauge you towheaded tow headed milky eyed inett tho the janitor demanded ile he rolled some cut plug tobacco between his horny palms palma and grimly surveyed tho the muttering northerner who was slowly gathering hla hie sprawled person into n upright position your iden idea of qualifying yourself for a first class engineers 13 la it you dumb dopey square qua re head cheadl whose alcohol lamp havo have you been getting to now id lelce to know cant urn roy my back for a pleasant evenings visit with my cifes wealthy relations without you curling your big ugly carcaba up in ray my chair and snoring like a drove of 0 hogs can I 1 let ilet mo catch you at it again and ill take that slice bar and make jaako you see bee your native ing boring alice aleco Every things all right Is in it lucky for you it Is or id not lot let you sit in the wheelbarrow row the janitor crammed his tobacco into le g bowl oi of hla his pipe lit it and emit emitte tJ a smoky sigh 1 I feel a little better now ho said with with an abatement ot la truculent tone my harsh words nels my friend but bt I 1 b I 1 pure have awe n ago I 1 waa wearing i a clean c co collar 0 al and using stiff starched and nd hand polished conversation to a leath leathery exy elderly lady that aint got no more use for me than a pig has for a pink parasol ashes got an idea that my wife might have done con aid tlde rable erable letter better than what she did when she married me I 1 dont say 0 o 0 7 J IF MY AUNT WAS IN HOOVIA OR SHANGHAI ID BE A HAPPY MAN the tha old lady aint right either but how bow was I 1 going a to help it once my old woman nes up her mind to do a thing there aint no use arguing with her about it IL I 1 seen that at the tha time I 1 didat know ber as aa well as I 1 do now but I 1 was viso to that all right nels my friend continued tho janitor after a few reflective puffs at his bis pipe im going to give you some good advice I 1 take back what ivo ive been saying about them frugal habits of yours go right on nourishing yourself with cold water and cabbage soup stick to that red vest and bottle green coat of your granddad grand dad dys and save money then you go and take a trip back to the old country and give the girls there a chance at you youve youva got to a marrying age now and some female or another is going to cop you out eure bure so ao you might as well take the curse cursa off as aa far as you can by going where your wife can leave her relations rela tlona tiona a matter of two or three thousand miles behind her it if my cifes aunt was in hoovia or shanghai id be a happy carefree man this minute but having her as close as aa indianapolis and knowing that any time a year she may hop on the train and come to see us ua Is quinine in my whiskey and dairin hair in my pipe its a thought to chill hot victuals and make my feather pillow feel like a gunny sack full of half bricks it puts on an ache in my bones and a lover fever in my brain makes the cold sweat stand out on my forehead and fills my mouth with dust and ashes its fierce ercel fl 1 the janitor shook his bis head bead mournfully you havo have thought it was dust and ashes in my mouth this evening though he went on have supposed it was butter that was due to stay there until I 1 swallowed it whole hole or spat it out there she ehe sits alts looking like a philippine curio in a missionary museum with her old gimlet eye boring into my depraved cepl aved and degraded soul and me feeling as it I 1 was the biggest mistake in a small size that ever happened me with my forty two inch chest and my noble and commanding pres presence encel me ate reduced the arrogant est tenant to humbleness ble 1 me mike limp as a lunch counter dishrag dl picking and sorting out my words and smiling till my cheeks la is stiff while ashes asking my wife if I 1 drink as much as evor 1 11 I hate hata a tool fool says saya she bufe eure poor company tor for an intelligent jp taron n maam says L im glad to see sea you realize it she bho says but I 1 doubt it if ever improve much for nil all that that jar you its well im a reason reasonable ablo man or id come out hero her and bust in that bono bone head of yours youra to get oven and two days moro more of it to enjoy 1 it II it was just juat her talking just herl berl who Is it I 1 wonder at you now an aa little sense as aa I 1 know youve got do you suppose any human hundred and ten pound vinegar tongued harridan hand band TOO me out a salol like that and got get away with it not on your picture postcard poet card its money talking nels my friend money la in tho the bank drawing tour four per cent interest and when money talks youve got to scoop your hand behind your ear and listen with respectful attention no nels it aint just lay cifes aunt insulting me its her bar savings account and a municipal bond and a farm mortgage and a house housa and lot and ill take a good deal of bawling out from them sort of things if ive a chanco chance of 0 getting ray my on lom era la in due course of time dut them two days daya Is the limit said the janitor kno knocking ching the hushea out of his bis pipe it she was tho wealth of the indies nod aad aho united batea treasury vaults id havo have her trunk in the wagon aho ho day alter of tor tomorrow she s ko got forty six hours twenty s soven oven hundred and sixty golden minutes to id tako take mo by the ears earn and rub my face in tha U mud pud and then tho the stuffs off en im i a patient mai man ahelf ive got to be but theros theres a point when I 1 rise up on my hind logo lega and show em am what it if ive got to smash every dl sa on the table and wake up tho folks in the next block seven twenty five flye wednesday morn mom ing and tho the place to is clear of her unless added adde 4 tho the janitor after r a moments pdro pause diess the concludes conclude a to stay a few days longor longer |
