Show the basement philosopher dy by KENNETT HARRIS tw 1911 by bf W 0 chipmin no nola ny my friend said bald tho the jani to tor r to his hie sorrowful scandinavian assistant si no nola nels I 1 would not make a complaint to tho the police ile ho shook his head bond slowly and solemnly no I 1 would riot not ho he repeated not that I 1 grudge the police tiny any harmless amusement a hard life of it them boys what with investigating committees grand juries and tho the like thoro aint nono none too many rays of suni shine on their thair paths but im considering si it from your standpoint and as a matter of principle first of all what good Is it to do you now as I 1 understand it the guy that sold you tho abo ring was a mod medium lum sized guy with a sandy mustache if you look close cloeo and careful at me soo see that im medium sized and while I 1 want no one to call tny mustache mue tacho sandy candy to my face I 1 aint got no doubt but what sandy Is tho the word a stranger would use describing of it and I 1 aint the only one theres medium sized sandy mustached guys on the police force ovon even it they was waa to throw out the drag and bring in all the sandy runts runta in chicago business would be at a standstill and the cars would stop running you want that would you sure you in the next place nola nels continued the janitor this here guy give you no w written ritten guarantee that it was waa a genuine ine lne six carat diamond that he sold you for two seventy civo alvo ile he may have give you the impression that it was when he picked it up off the sidewalk but impressions dont cut no ice ile he might have thought it was genuine ine lna himself and been ral mistaken staken the same as aa you was lla ila ble to make a mistake what you ought to have done was waa to have took it to a good jeweler and had it certified before you paid out any money on it you was careless all there Is ie about it the other reason why I 1 advise you to set bet the machinery of the law in motion about this here business Is the principle I 1 was telling you about you take this for your motto never make a holler not under no circumstances it if you got get stung hide the swelling the best you can and keep your mouth shut until you get off some place by yourself where nobody aint to hear you then it if you want to relieve yourself by a few remarks go ahead and make lern em and got get it off your chest liable tobo to be a sucker some time nobody cant cadt be wise to all the plants there Is but believe me the biggest boob in the bunch Is the yahoo with tho the yawp who wants everybody to know how bow shameful hes bola been imposed on you take it from me nels my friend the follow looking tor for sympathy all the time never gets it what mat he gets is the fishy eye or the merry marry ha ha but sympathy nix not it if he puts up a holler if any son of agun a gun gets the beat of me in a deal I 1 make up ray my alad im just as much to blame tor for it as aa he in IB all ive got Is to me it if I 1 can throw a rope on his bis goat any time without advertising myself as an easy snark mark ill do it it if I 1 cant charge it up to experience you see im a man that likes to have tho the good opinion of my friends declared the tha janitor ive got the reputation of being a pretty flossy proposition at leant what my friends tell me and ill stand for a pretty hard bard poke poka of the gaff before ill contradict em if theres any rumors to the contrary floating around they dont como from me it I 1 pick a winner any time I 1 aint going to make no dark secret of 14 it but it if I 1 drop a weeks wages on a bum tip I 1 even tell my wife this here world la Is full of brace games nels my friend and we all go against lem em more or less leas the vise boys and tho the cap heads both but there aint no evidence against the tha wise ones they dont write no ltd ignant letters to the papers see eee lem em cor corle cocie le out of the side show with a happy satisfied smile on their tc and they dont go back to tell tho the ticket seller that hes short changed lem em most moot of the trouble we have in the way of getting skinned Is when we w try to got get something for nothing without understanding the game ive fra watched I 1 things pretty close cloo for or a man tot got hta his work to look after but I 1 niver leen a guy make his living by giving y valuably Talu abla property most moat goner ally if a follows fol lowa got sur something nothing gootel to sell ho wants somewhere near what itlo ita worth it if I 1 found a six carat diamond ring I 1 sell bell it to no DO for two seventy ilva when I 1 could hock it most anywhere for ten dollars same way if I 1 a gold mine that the finest experts claimed would produce a million a day I 1 peddle the stock at five cents a share chare to got get rooney to do celop it and keep it out of the hands of the combine id develop it with my fingernails finger nails first I 1 dont want my bargains too big im leary of lem em when they get over a certain size I 1 may lose money that way vay but ill bet bea ive saved lots ot of it too still it I 1 did happen to buy a gold brick that some sandy mustached ached guy had swiped from the sub treasury and found out afterwards that it what it had been cracked up to be I 1 bialo no complaint to the government no dont you never holler some borne of theme these days you may buy an orange grove in florida and be sort eort of disappointed with it but stand a better chance of trading it off for west side unimproved if you been too noisy about it to your circle of acquaintances ever know a sue suc politician to squeal when ho was thrown down not on your lifo lie lets letb bygones be bygones and keeps his little up for future use you may not go into politics but its a cinch get married and theres another game where youre liable to get the worst of it I 1 guess most moist every married man thinks he be has at times and the women aro are dead sure of it but why bellyache here ive been married now close on to twenty years and no nels my friend it do no good to holler every holler to la a knock and it the other fellow youre knocking though you may think it Is and if had a five dollar bill in your kick hick instead of the small email change havo have been two and a lot d TAKE IT FROM ME NELS THE FELLOW ALWAYS LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY NEVER GETS IT quarter worse off than what you are think of that and be ba haddy 11 |