Show v r Something for Everybody Dy By BERT DOY BOYACK ACK Harold Wood who teaches in Wichita Kan High Ugh School thought he would give his students some understanding of ot country life lite by posing a problem involving cows and milk production If U a cow gave so many quarts of ot milk a day weighing so many pounds and av averaging averaging av av- X per cent of ot butterfat how many pounds of ot butterfat would she produce in a week There were some correct answers and some Incorrect ones but Wood was puzzled about seven papers offering the identical wrong wrong answer There could have been no op opportunity opportunity op op- for tor the kids to filch figures from one another and Wood spent part of ot an evening eve eve- evening ning trying to dope out how they had come up with the same wrong answer Finally he figured figured fig fig- it out Those city kids had given the cows a five A young couple with five live children took out r educational insurance policies for tor all Later they not only couldn't pay the premiums as they came due but had to take their young I children children out of ot kindergarten I of l I ll c c y T 1 r. r We have read how so few tew people voted Inthe in inthe inthe the last city election and and this one comes to mind Chief Magistrate Well you you won King What was the total vote vote Chief Magistrate One Onel l t King And Just think at first I wasn't going to vote r Our r Lunar project Is pit to toa a good start start we are going to be the first tp the moon It will wUl be our state Then well we'll send our I first lunatic to Congress Congress' 3 4 I They name hurricane after acter women because ber be- be r r cause they drive 60 miles an hour knock knockdown down telephone poles and give no directions I And then there was the politician that got gotI I caught In a hurricane aid ald he said Ive got caught In one of ot Senator Dirksen's filibusters ers i One astronaut to another How do you I like this undertaking Second astronaut to first Please do not noti i f use that word undertaking I If f. f CHILDRENS CHILDREN'S CORNER Polly the I t I parrot marry a duck Polly wanted a J How flow do you milk a porcupine Very carefully What Is the correct I I word Mary Is ate eight years old Bod wrapped rapped on the door Jim rapped rapped- iJ w w w v wrapped the top In brown paper Grandma had dad ad not been sick for tor years years she she went up to fix the chimney and came down with the flu Figure this one out Write down your house number Double it it Add five live Multiply by 50 and add your age Add the number of ot days there are in a year Subtract CIS In the resulting number you will find your house number at the left and your age at the right How about this one The father tather of ot this person Mr Smith said as he pointed to a photograph is my fathers father's son yet I 1 have no brothers and no sons Answer Mr Smith Is the father tather of the person in the photograph n his daughter Definitions with different meanings Exchequer Exchequer Exchequer Ex Ex- chequer is a retired supermarket employee Rely is a repeat of ot a fib lib Denial a river In Egypt Egypt Limerick There was a young man from Dice Who remarked Two vo may be a bore Id I'd prefer a few more For the plural of spouse is spice w Wait t to become a Z Join a coi comedian co- co 1 i median school you put five marbles in your mouth mouth after after each joke you spit out a marble when all the marbles are gone you gone you have lost your marbles Then you are a comedian I ian Man in barroom to sheriff We killed your brother Pete Another We killed brother your Joey The other We killed your brother Mack She Sheriff rUt I didn't know you killed Mack Mackl I IOne One man Oh Ohl Come on let bygones be bygones and have a drink Sheriff No sir I l will not drink with men that have been rude to my relatives 1 Philosopher Pete says you says you cant can't abolish sin but you can try to keep it in check I An timer old is one who remembers when the three Rs R's didn't mean robbin noun and reefers There was the dear old lady who sent her pastor a box of ot assorted goodies with this note Dear Pastor Knowing that you do not eat sweets Im I'm sending candy to your wife and nuts to you iiii i THE TilE LAST WORD FOR THIS The Country Sage says Many great Ideas have been lost because the folks who had them couldn't stand to be laughed at at tW tWit it W iJ J J JJ J V |