Show af at UNLUCKY MAN fitte rate against illin him or the luck hint met lot ireuben 1 I reuben fullaway Pul laway away was the editor of the echo city blazer for nearly two tivo score years tears the latchstring of his office had always been out and ha he bad had molded opinion until he be graw grew moldy ho ile bad had referred to every man in town as a 0 perfect gentleman and to every ladym lady a queen q of society and arid as he VW 14 he longed for a chance to tut 3 somebody 1 oh 01 11 he would exclaim in t the he silent eventide while the tears coarsen down his its furrowed far rowed cheeks oh for an opportunity to turn locae and crucify some somebody bodyl I 1 I 1 am filled with adjectives which would look magnificent in print but I 1 dare not if I 1 were to attack any one he would stop 3 paper and perhaps take out his advertisement so reuben fullaway Pul laway wrote flatter flattering lug paragraphs about people and gre grew W sullen an and taciturn and his choss seemed greater than he could bear IL 11 I 4 i Inen Il euben beu said the editors wife one it morning orning 1 as a he be looked sadly at an b breakfast reak fast and reached tor for his bat hat why not lot roast some imaginary individual turn loose the vials of your wrath upon horatio Elder groove tor for instance nobody can van possibly be offended since there Is no such a in man an and have just as much fun torturing him as though he lived the editor folded his wife to his bosom weeping but oh gentle reader his teare team were tears of joy joyl I 1 augusta Soph sophronia roula he lie cried it is an inspiration oh how I 1 will paralyze horn tio Elder groove the beautiful glow of dawn was vas in the th heart beart of reuben fullaway Pul laway III the leading editorial in the blazer that week was a corker this city it suid gald has been visited by an unprincipled scour scoundrel of the name of horatio Elder groove b he e has green whiskers and only one eye which Is in the middle of his forehead he lie has a trunk like an elephant and tusks n foot long he ile is a reproach to mankind a hyens who lives on the bones of dead men a ghoul a varn vampire pire a serpent he would play checkers on the coffin of his mother and rob a wil ghost t of its shroud 11 there wafe a column and add a half of this hort of literature and when it was written t the he editor felt refreshed and young once more inore all the accumulated bile of years and years had flown into the article the beauty of it Is said the editor to the e foreman that since there is no such a man as horatio Elder groove with his its grinn whiskers and single eye nobody onn poa ably be offended true eno enough 11 responded the foreman W with ith a IV in the quiet dreamt dusk of 0 a everi evening ing a stranger journ Journy yeS ca into echo city be he had bad green whiskers abid but one eye ey wh which it was wag int intha in t tha cent erot illic his forehead ho he b had ad ft a trunk like ike an elephant and tusks a foot long ilia his first act was to purchase a it copy of the blazer and his wrath may be better imagined than described when he read leading editorial he ile immediately went to th the blazer lazer office and sat on reuben Pulla fullaway Pul laway and made ilm alm reuben eat a three pound can of green ink and a barrel of glue and a towel and then he lie poured coal oil on reubens hair and set fire to it and he fed reuben into a stop cylinder press with a folder attached so that when the unfortunate man emerged he lie was fo folded aided ready or mailing then the stranger went down town and addressed a meeting of citizens v on the following day lay all the merchants of echo city called at the blazer office and ordered their ads out and canceled their orders for job work you should be ashamed of yourself haid the mayor mr horatio Elder groove whom you BO so violently abused in your acu arilous paper Is an eastern capitalist who came hero here to establish seven packing houses employing men he ile has now gono gone away in disgust 11 and BO so Us lis name was really ir horatio EIder Elder groove groaned the heartbroken editor and ho be had bad green whiskers and one eye and a trunk and tusks a foot long well it was just my luck THE TIIE END fremont 1 I neb tribune |