Show ARIZONA KICKER LIVELY TIMES TIME S REPORTED BY THE EDITOR AND MAYOR the private graveyard 1 steve 5 taylor show the white whit feather reathe ro juit just 04 the editor said stunning down dow colonel skinner copyright by charle charles B D lewis A rm point POIN r the editor of KICKER who la Is has a private graveyard containing a quarter of an acre of ground UP to the present dato date there are ten amounda in tup the inclosure Inc lomire each representing a person who died very suddenly within a fe few w feet of us As we have been to the expense of over for funeral I 1 outfits and at least more in the ground and planting sh shrubs tubs and flowers we think we can be pardoned for any little display of egotism on our part our plot Is one of the sights of the town and Is generally the first thing a stranger inquires after we are now expending fifty dollars to improve the highway connecting the town and the plot and travel will soon be made more convenient con eilent the point lately raised by ome some of the boys Is tah ilia honor the mayor who la Is Is handy with the gun and will probably shoot some one within a short time antho in the line of duty in rn case ho he does should his victim go in as no 11 in TUB tim kicken graveyard or w would ou id be he be privileged dostart to start a new one on his his own hook book the matter is being generally discussed and has aroused great interest and wo ire shall submit it to an attorney this week for a legal opinion STEVES MISTAKE when steve taylor was appointed town marshal THE tim kickin a advanced the opinion that he be was weak in the back and would crawl it if he got into a tight place steve and his friends were down on us for the announcement and we believe it was steve himself who fired a bullet into this office one night a few weeks ago and shot the pendulum off our eight day clock the erfft affair r of sunday night proved the correctness of our opinion regarding steves sand A had bad man from zuni broke loose all of a sudden and began firing right and left steve happened to be within twenty feet of him but the ping of bullets started him off down the street like an antelope ills ilia honor the mayor who is was in church and heard the firing ile ran straight for the crowd sized up tip the situation at fit a glance and next moment he lie had the bad man by the neck the fellow was quickly dl disarmed and within live fire minutes of his first firs t shot he was lying ou on the floor of the and wondering which side of the united states had tipped up on him monday morning he be was so anxious to get out of town that ho be was willing to go without his guns which will be sold at auction for the benefit of the street improvement fund steve taylor has handed in his resignation and begged our pardon he ile thought he bid sand but it was a mistake lie ile will open a carpenter shop on cactus street and his advertisement will appear in our next issue no LIBEL SUIT A few weeks ago we felt it our duty as a conscientious editor to refer to colonel dan skinner who runs the whisky ranch on the other bank of plum creek as a man whose absence from this locality would be of great benefit we time to look back through our A J t 1 I I 1 i la 1 J J I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 i t T f i J I 1 I 1 I 1 1 4 b I 1 i 1 Z WE HAD A TALK TALE 1 flies files but we probably added that he be was an villain whose case had som somebody eboNy been overlooked the colonel saw the item and buckled on his gun to pay ray USA us a call the nearer he got to us the stronger grew his feelings that ho he was about to monkey with a landslide two miles ion long and ho he finally stopped and turned back and sent for lawyer hamilton we were informed yesterday morning that we were about to be sued for damages and wo we mounted our mule and rodo rode overto over to the ranch the colonel saw raw us coming and got away on his big burro but we run him down at the end of a mile ratio and had bad a talk with him he ile not only assured us in the most emphatic language that he be had never entertained the idea of a libel suit but that he be was an admirer of our straight from abe shoulder style and desired to subscribe for five copies of TIIE THE ricken we then returned to town to look for lawyer hamilton someone somo one bad had lent him a mule and be he was headed beaded for clinch valley but at our second shot he pulled up and waited for us to overtake him he lie also denied the reported libel suit and likewise expressed his undying admiration tor for the great family newspaper of the tile glorious west he ile wanted to subscribe for 91 six 11 copies of tur KICKER ricken but as our terms are invariably cash in advance and as he lie could only raise 1 four dollars wo vo let him off on two copies should any of our friends hear bear of anymore any more intended damage suits against us they will vill confer a favor by reporting at this office 1 13 BROTHER ROTHER GARDNER ON SIGNS sudden collapse of the ghost sign bod and breaw Hu huskiness siness when the regular business of the saturday night meeting of the fAme limekiln kiln club had been concluded B brother rother gardner arose and looked down the aisles as if in search of certain members and finally begun it has lately come to my knowledge dat sartin members of dis it s club am firm believers bel levera in sign signs an war fur instance I 1 am told dat bradder standoff jackson heard a clock strike thirteen ume Unie di jle IL 1 I li t a an watz fowl dat tat ce coul I 1 rn believed it was A sign of a sudden d death t h in his camly I 1 am told dat bradder olvea dam jones saw de new moon over his left shoulder one night last week an he done felt so poky ober it dat he had bad to soak bis his feet an go to bed I 1 parn dat crudder Be beesaw three white hosa clus aclus together do odder day on de do street an he run home to see if f de baby was dead 1 only last night I 1 was informed dat 1 kurnel I urnel kyann johnson Job second vico vice president of 0 ills dis club sot up nil all night de do odder night bekasi de do camly teakettle sounded a barnin soon arter supper it seems to me from what I 1 bey he heard boorin de laet last to fol weeks dat nine tenths of do members mein bere of dia djs club am nightly pectin to see ghosts walkin about deir bedrooms I 1 ealah to call atten shun to bylaw no which yo hev perhaps du dun n forgot it reads dat any member of dis club who ft ho believes in ghosts may be fined as high as or expelled from de club dese de secretary or will now call de roll all yo dat believe in ghosts will stand up as ho he hits names the secretary called the roll but not a member stood up de do ghost bieness seems to hev bey played out all of a sud luddeni deril observed the president dentas us the list was finished perhaps hofweber ho weber we w e hov bey some somo members who believe in signs an war de do secretary will call de roll agin an de believers will standup stand up bafo doln so I 1 should like to call atten shun to bylaw no 67 which reads dat any believer in signs nn an war maybe may bo fined ashegh as high as or suspended from de club fur one yar 11 J 1 ti 41 1 I 1 ill irr I 1 ra I 1 I 1 ir if i 6 a its I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 k I 1 I 1 I 1 4 7 Ri HOME the roll was called again gain but every member seemed to hot hold da himself down lu his chair doan seem to bo be nobody cupl a said aid brother gardner as ho lie looked around the room we will now see how many members believe in dreams by law no MI reads dat any member who professes his belief in dreams or who shall argufy to another member dat dreams am sent by de do angels in heaven dowarn to warn us of what am to come maybe may lie fined as high as 0 or r suspended fur six months all yo d dat a t believe in dreams di earns stand up as names am called for the third time the roll was called without ft a member moving a foot As the secretary sat down it profound silence fell upon the men the president finally broke in on it by rising and observe observing 1 g no ghosts no signs an 1 us no seems like I 1 was dun mistaken about abou tit it bradder jackson how about dat clock thirteen tim tl inbe cst reckon I 1 counted one too many tah sah Br udder jones how about dat new ear moon f 1 I doan believe in no new moons sah sab an bradder bebee bosaw yo SAW three white bosses an specked spec ted de baby to die dle did yo bosah no sah I 1 jest went back home to git my hammer dat id dan dun argot 11 oh I 1 seel lC kurnell johnson how about dat ten WL kettle dat was all in fun sah it was eh eli f well ize powerful I 1 glad to har war dat dis club am all right on oil signs sign warning ghosts an art sich an I 1 hope it will stay all right izo ize an olo man wan an in my time izo met tip wid heaps bolch stuff it nr arl my candid belief based on sixty ol 01 walkin round on top dis dat de do man who runs bieness cordin to dreams an signs was bon fur a aulo an aist missed it by I 1 faint gwine to bo be so arbitrary as to say dat culla folks cant see abot ts IQ in de do cane seat cheer at midnight wid deir eyes a rollin an deir beef a clashin or dat dey ley shant har war death ticks in de do wall an strange whispers floasin in de air I 1 simply bay say dat members of dis club who see ai har war sich things will git down stairs a ll 11 out onto dis wid such sudden rapidness dat race bosses cant ketch emi m I 1 wo we will now bust up de do luettin an go 90 home netting getting toned 1 up there was a fakir with nn an electrical machine machino on wheels in tho the public square at chattanooga any one wanting his system toned up had bad only to hand him a nickel and graap tho the handles attached to the battery Dusi business was a little slack when an old darky couple man and wife camo along and paused to aeo andrear and bear after three or four minutes the husband turned and said alluda azo dwino ter eit alt my etsten toned up tip shoo now doan yo dun go boolin around bout als 1 te all right ize frelin powerful bad jess now linda reckon it might tako take dat beelin 0 away aw ay a tellin yol yo not to fool wid dat nr AT dasheen mas ma lieen sheen moscal eho elie vigorously replied debbe its good fur de do an debbo dun knock you frew de middle of next week too ole to tako take chances moses keep quiet honey reckon I 1 know fur de do best hold dis wash bod bold while I 1 git toned up I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 1 4 3 I 1 I 1 I 1 1 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 1 I 1 I 1 k til jj I 1 GETTING TONED VP UP I 1 lie passed over his fits nickel and seized the I 1 hu apes it was wn on one fit 21 tj p w t bang oufa rf i lian n unfit t ebe entrant fa off and the lo 10 S it it hangs angs the str stronger the current be am es the old man had got about en enough 0 arll und an big 1 back was arched up and I 1 hh i f i feet 9 read apart when two dogs began fighting ahting fl a IV yards 3 away tho the crowd made in ade a rush a nd id the old ma man n a at t the hand was forgotten un o 0 til tj I 1 he be began yelling at th v top of lilg fits As soon ae as the current wa was turned off he dropped in a heap we carvien him to the walk and laid him on his back and ahr threw ew water in fit his face and rind after three or f four our minutes lie opened his eyes and gasped out dat yo linda yes data dats 11 II she sternly replied an what edun ladun got do battali wid met me do fattah wid yo moses de do battah wid yo why yo godun qun saw a brass barl on wheels an yo pad paid five cents to git toned up by hold of do handles yoe yos got do tonel mout is la all draped around on shoulder dat left eye Is all cocked up nn an boat knees am bobblin liken like a rabbit in a bresh fence git up ole man git getup up an cum along abongan an bring dat tone wid yol yo and bo be dun glad yo halat an ole fool no mol yoe bin toned au an yoa yos jess like a white gem lan bowl now I 1 chubb chubbs autobiography I 1 eaid said to my mother I 1 will become a messenger boy and support this family la ft luxury and so I 1 went to tho the man who bosses the office on broadway and stated my ambition lie ile said to me are you a rapid boy and I 1 told him I 1 was the rap boy in new york ho ile eaid sald very well ivell and he gave me what my kny ambition had bad craved I 1 am there yet I 1 am no 14 to in the office and when I 1 am rin sent out I 1 am chain lightning I 1 carried a message to russell sago sage one day and be he looked at me and eaid said why this rapidity of promptness and I 1 said it Is my way honored sir and I 1 cannot hesitate to linger ho ile said you have started in right and you will some day be blown up with a bomb and have richness of wealth after that I 1 was more rapid than before I 1 met a editor on a sixth avenue train lie ile watched me closely for a long time and when he was assured ot of my untiring vigilance he said to me that I 1 should write up my life and adventures for the public to read it would lead other 1 boys boym to be rapid and generous he ile took a dime out of his pocket and teemed seemed about to hand it to me as a a reward for my unwearied zeal but his mind changed over and ho he restored it to his receptacle I 1 was not quite so rapid after that one day when I 1 met a telegraph boy in exchange place lie said to me you are a fool for your quick rapidity I 1 have been promoted three times and yet I 1 linger to saunter when carrying a telegram I 1 said it was my ambition to be the chained lightn ingest messenger in new york and ho he said you are a noble liar then we fiti licked when he had been bously vanquished I 1 said sald to him you can now see the value of my rapid suddenness and I 1 hope you will reform and become an eminent citizen I 1 was sent in answer to a call from front a spacious mansion on fifth avenue I 1 was there with such incalculable rapidity that the lady of the house says bo boy y I 1 have seen see n much rapid swiftness in my time but nothing to equal this how ilow do you manage it and I 1 said it was the fires of ambition blazing in my youthful breast I 1 should be proud to call you my son she said and she gave me an extra nickel to assist me in my determined efforts to attain wealth I 1 met a policeman as I 1 was passing up fourth avenue with my inconceivable sud and denness lie ile halted me and said boy why this unseemly haste to overtake your den destination ti ton and I 1 said because I 1 am borki working 9 in fix the interests of my employers honored of officer licer and I 1 hope by the exercise of un paralleled energy to merit promotion anil and thus to fill the measure of my overpower ing ambition this la is all at present UL QUAD |