Show COLUMBUS A short sketch of tho life of the great discoverer I 1 have thought that the history of some of the worlds great men has never been properly written up and now for certain considerations erat ions between the party of the first part and the party of the second part I 1 have concluded to bend my faber to this herculean task christopher columbus was a great and good man in fact I 1 am inclined to believe her was a better man than an average utah federal judge but perhaps this point is open to question if I 1 remember correctly columbus was born at genoa in 1437 and his mother was a female 1 I make this latter statement for fear there might be some misconception in regard to the matter I 1 cannot find that Columbus parents ever had any connection with a newspaper yet it is stated that they were very poor As columbus advanced in years he was in turn a soldier a sailor and a roan of science he was very very fond of geography and eggs and finally concluded that he would like to bean emigrant the great oceanic steamship lines were not running in those days and it was as much an impossibility for a poor man to obtain steerage accommodations as it was for a rich hidalgo to secure a cabin berth with piano champagne spring chicken and cigars thrown in this however did not deter columbus from skipping out at the first opportunity well the long looked for day came at last and columbus in charge of three vessels embarked from palos on august ard 3rd 1892 ho turned the bows of his fleet toward the betting sun and finally sighted a small por land of the free and the home of the brave through some oversight there was no brass band on the beach to welcome the illustrious adventurer by playing hail columbia this is a which every other historian has overlooked but in the magnanimity of my soul I 1 hare concluded not to make extra charge for the information this regrettable absence of the crooked horn manipulators however was fully made up for by the adventurers who sang the te deum while columbus was landing thus we have another instance of necessity becoming the mother of invention at this early date it was not required of an immigrant to colum bias shores desirous to become a citizen to go before the judge and be questioned as to whether he in tended to obey all the laws of this glorious country and as to his family relations consequently columbus was five dollars in pocket and his equable temperament was unruffled matters upon which the writer can truly congratulate him the natives who resided on the island where columbus first landed it appears were not very hungry for they made no attempt to eat him but ho was allowed to return to his homo in europe safe and sound he after wards returned to america accompanied by a great number of people who settled most ot them in the southern part of the new continent I 1 have searched the records very carefully but can find no ins formation as to whether columbus did or did not live within the law but I 1 think it ia very probable he did for at that time people had not thought of leaving the plow for the purpose of administering injustice in federal courts nor did legal luminaries have an opportunity of giving the edmunds law a kaleidoscopic construction they knew a trick worth two like that in the days of columbus the great navigator made several later trips to the new continent and would very often have his boat fixed and take trip over arriving before breakfast some morning a few months after like every other notable person he died at last and doubtless his conscience was clear because he never took advantage power and position to abuse a poor polygamist because ho would not promise to obey the law and become one of us BOLIVAR BRETT |