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Show llht one of your 'bost clears; he'll he more likely to believe nie then. Flle-gende Flle-gende Blaetter. Wrono. "I trust," continued the maternal parent, "that when it came to the extra ex-tra helpings you had manners enough to say 'No?'" "es, ma." whispered Tommny. "Mrs. Stout kept uskln' rac If I'd had enough!" The Valuation. Seymour What do you think of Saddler's horse? ' Ashley Well. If I were Saddler and the horse were stolen, I'd lock the stable doors, so It could never get back again." Chicago News. An Unjuat Charge. "You were trying to evade the law by operating an uutomobllo without being qualified." "Trying to evade the law. nothing! Didn't I run right into an officer?" Kansas City Journal. or and half a hundred femalo relatives rela-tives putting you in shape for coin-mencemt coin-mencemt nt. Puck. Plausible. John One of your creditors wishes to speak to y.u."sh Master Well, say I'm away from home. John All right, sir, and I'll just JUST FOR FUN Warning the Colonel. A raw recruit from a remote corner of the Greeu l6le was engaged for the first time In a Held maneuver, on out-lost out-lost dut . The sergeant Instructed him to look out carefully for the colonel coming to inspect the post After an hour ho returned and tusked the soldier: ' Has tho colouei been here?" Receiving an answer In the negative, nega-tive, he wient away, returning later with the same inquiry. A while later tho colonel appeared. The recruit did nt salute properly, which Incensed the colonel, who, as a hint, asked him; "Don you kDOW who I am?" "Faith and I do not," answered tho recruit ' am the colonel." 'Begorra, von will catch It then," said the soldier. "The sergeant has ihcen asking twice for yez already!" TitDita. Happy Thought. "Your story is gond," said the publisher pub-lisher to the autlnr, who had called to learn his fate, "but thcry H ono thing I can't understand." ' "What's that?" queried the author. "You have the climax in the middle chapter instead of the last," said the publisher. "'Why is that.'" "Oh," answered the author, "that 13 a llttl? scheme of mine to keep women wom-en from knowing how the story is going go-ing to return out by reading the last chapter first." Chicago News. Wise Tramp. Sho brought him out a wedge of pumpkin pic ami a cup of coffee. "And you only visit I his section of the country during golden rod time?" idic interrogated, innocently. "How poetical!" "Well, you see, mum. It isn't exactly exact-ly poetical." replied Dusty Dan. with a smile lut when, le golden rod blooms It Is too late to cut grass an' to. early to shovel snow." Chicago Even Break. Madge But I3llly, the idea of three, coaches to each man to put him In condition for the big game! Why, it's abBurd! Hilly Not any moro so than throo dressmakers, two lualds, a hair dr's- |
