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Show It's something that makes you wear silk gloves when you prefer kid. ' Smart Set. , A Defective Parrot., "The late Richard Watson Gilder," Bald a New York poet, "always oi opFed the reading of light literature. A poet, ho said, could not read such literature without corrupting his literary liter-ary style. "Ho once told me that the poet. In this respect, was llko nrown's parrot. "Brown bought n parrot for $20 from a pot jtock dealer, and a week or two later returned to the shop and Insisted In-sisted that the bird be taken hark. "'What's the matter with it?' the dealer asked. " 'W-w-why,' said Brown, 'the c-c-rlt-ter &t utters.' " Washington Star. , His Losses. "Well. Geonre." exclaimed the far- JUST FOR FUN Lost and Found. A certain sergeant was drilling a dozen recrujts, and after a tew days' drilling and teaching he found that he had not made any Impression on them whatever. He decided to tell them .i tale, which ran as follows: "When I was a biy my mother bought me a dozen wood soldiers, which 1 drilled and tried to Instruct, but. without any result, tf courso. 'I hen I lost them one by one. and no.v I have found you again, you wooden dU'fvrs!" Tit-lilts. Give It Time. Old I-ady I want you to take back that parrot you sold mc. I llnd that it swears very badly. Bird Dealer Well, madam, it's a very young bird It'll learn to swear better when it's a bit older. Hutnan Life. Couldn't Say. IS 11 What's the height of your am-bhlon? am-bhlon? 1'jHi Well. 1 don't know exactly; but she Jut comes up to my shoulder, i Harvard Lampoon. j Explained. i "She talks twice as much as the j other girls 1 know." i "Ye she has a double chin.' Cleveland Leader. I His Conciliatory Vay. Mr. and Mr3. Tickaway. although leally toud of each other, had frequent, quarrels, owing, no doubt, to lnflrml lies of temper on the part of both. Mr. Pickaway was telling his troubles to bis elderly maiden aunt. pier as he greeted one of his laborers on New Year's daj, "and 'ow did 'ee get on last year?'' "Ay, maister," was the reply, "It wnr a bad year for I. I did lose my mNsus, . I did lose my canary, and 1 did lose mv dog And It wur a good dog, too." Loudon Dally News. A Highbrow, t "They say Mln has went and married mar-ried a highbrow." "Yes. he's one of them guys that always waits till they're through eatln' befoie be drinks his coffee, and then dont put any milk in it" Chicago I Record-Herald. Pig Pen. "You have a fine house and piece of giound here." "Yep. Made it all with my pen." I "Writing?" "Nope; pig" Judge's Library". "I try to be as good a nusDana to Bertha as I know how lo be," he said, "but we don't seem to get along, it fakes so little to Irritate her, and when th? starts to scolding she never know when to stop She takes offense, too, at such little things." "Then dm't say those Utile thing, Joshua," said his aunt. "WIicti she Is j cioss you mul try to be conciliatory " . "I am conciliatory. Aunt Bertha," he answered. "I often say to her, Bertha, I know the utter usolessness of try lng to reasou with you, but will you listeu to. me Just a minute?" and she f-ts mad oven at that." Youth's Companion. Com-panion. In the Barber Shop. "That Is a nice looking little shaver bins, as he seated himself In tho bar- ' bor'B chair and pointed to a fp.'Sh : laced little lad sitting by the door. "He Is not a nhaver." said the bar- I l.cr; "he Iss a bootblack." Harper's Weekly. Easy. Friend Could you explain the tariff to a man l you were allowed U can- vats for votes i Miss Suffragette Of course I could |