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Show up from the tvedj you buy." Washington Wash-ington Star. Outdistanced. "Then you like these inovlng-plc-ture plays?" "I confess that I do. Th action develops de-velops too fast for the man who has en the performance and wants to tell me about It." Kansas City Journal. Jour-nal. A Sa Change. Fuddy So Rlx has given up his floor-walking Job and become a purser pur-ser on a steamer. Duddy Yes; from seeing the sales he's turned to sailing about the seas. Boston Transcript. Toleration. "John Henry, do you mean to tell me I talk twice as much as you do?" "Yes, dear, but I don't blame you. It'a your undoubted right. You have a double chin." Chicago Tribune. Right You Are. "When a woman marries and then divorce her husband Insldo of a week, what would you call It?" "Tal Ing his namo In vain." Prince-ton Prince-ton Tiger. JUST FOR FUN Random Not. The chiropodist gets ahead by work-lag work-lag away at tho foot. When a ruau Is in a stew his language lan-guage generally becomes unsavory. Hush money frequently makes more noise than any other kind. An engagement U a fragile thing; It can't bo dropped without breaking break-ing It. A cranky notion Is all right If you can turn It to pood advantage. Some occupations Induce optimum. You can't persuade a cutler that every ev-ery man has an ax to grind. A rather damaging lact against faith cures Is that they are by their very nature trust cooct-rns. Boston Transcript. Deceiving. "My poor man." said the good housewife as she handed out the wedge of rhubarb pie, "why do you wear such a scowl on your face?" On account of lyln' door mat. mum." respondjd Gritty George. "You mean 'lying dormant,' don't you?" "No'm. lyln dcor mat. Der wa a door mat In de vestibule of de lat house wld 'Welcome' la big red letters. let-ters. When 1 crotsed dat mat (Se man of de house clubbed me. de woman scolded me an" de dog bit me. Chicago Chi-cago News. One More thing to Try. The dlfcouraged mother sighed as she confessed wearily: "V, have whipped our Uttlo Jim, coaxed him. shut him up. bribed him. made Llm go without hi meals la fact we have done everythlug could think of to break his will: but so far we haven't been eoocesshiL" "If you waat his will broken." was tho bitter ucreetlcn cf a friend, who had lately been disappointed In not receiving an expected legacy, "you'd better take him to a lawyer." Lippl,i-cott's Lippl,i-cott's Magazine. Heroic Treatment. Little Willie wore his stocking Inside out a habit 6ht.vking; To correct his naughty whim. Mother turned the hone on him. Woman's Homo Companion. Willie didn't seem to care; Smeared some roof paint on his hair. Father, though his right hand tingled. Merely had the lad's balr shingled. Chicago Tribune. The Mystery. Gunner I have read some of Pen-ner's Pen-ner's "myt-tery" novels, and must ay that for pure punk they deserve the I lemon. Guyer That's my opinion. But how j can you refer to them as "mystery" novels? j Gunner The mystery Is how he ; sells them. Chicago New s. j A Useful Science. i "What Is geography?" asked the father, who was testing his son's progress in study. "Geography." replied HtMe Jimmy Jlgs. "Is what you put Inside your trousers when vou think you are going to get a whipping." Washington tSar. As Glory Goes 'Round. Oh. fame s a barber's chair. You wait your turn with patience exed. And scarce gtt j.lace.j In comfort there Ere It's your move Fate hollers "Xext!" Washington Star. A Leaning to Art. "Which do vou prefer art or na- j ture?" "Art," replied Mr. Croslots. "Th Pictures In the gardening magazines aJwayt look better than what comes |