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Show and 1 wish to apologize for my rudeness. rude-ness. With your permission, I will withdraw it as an order and renew it as a suggestion. Chicago Tribune. Good Reason for It. He Joined the church a week ago; 'twas with repentant face; Today his heart is filled with woe; today ho fell from grace. Ho fell from grace, alas.l for bit-tor bit-tor is tho cup He fell from grace while trying hard to put the stovepipe up! Los Angeles Express. A Suggestion. "If a woman has a right to accumulate accum-ulate property," said tho suffragette, "she also has a right to go into politics." poli-tics." "Perhaps," answered Senator Sor- i gum. "But have you observed how hard it is for the average person In politics to accumulate property? If I were you I'd hold on to the property.." prop-erty.." Washington Star. JUST FOR FUN Roland Took Precautions. Roland is a little boy who learns things quickly. Not hng ago ho heard some one swear and he immediately imme-diately appropriated tho word for his own use. Tho next time he got mad at his nurse he used the word which begins with D in addressing her. She told his grandfather. .Tho grand-lather grand-lather wrote Roland a letter, In which he said It was terribly bad to uso the word. He also stated that a little bird had told him that Roland had used it. Tho letter, when road Jo the boy. made a deep Impression on him. A few days later he aud his nurse were out In tho yard when Roland became provoked at her. "Say, nurse" he said, "is they any little birds around hero?" "No," replied tho nurse, "not just now." "Well, then," said Roland, "you'ro a fooL" Douver Post, To Stay With the Old Man. "Come indoors immediately!" called a nurne to a small boy whose father was going out. "You won't go to lioavtn if you'ro so naughty." "I don't want to go to heaven," was tho aggrievod reply; ,:I want to go with father!" Philadelphia lu-qulrer. lu-qulrer. Provocation. Mrs. Bangs Do you know, I'm afraid af-raid my husband ia given to Eavliig things behind mv back. Miss Bright Wfll. dear, perhaps the poor fellow cannot get the hooka and eyes to match properly. Boston Transcript. A Sign. When a man In referred to as being "a diamond in the rounh" it is generally gene-rally a sign that ho wouldn't be tolerated tol-erated In decent poclety if ho didn't have a lot of mono) . Chicago Record Herald. Justice. "Two weeks ago Bunker, who was accused of having tried to bribe a member of the legislature, way complaining com-plaining that the public wouldn't givo hlrn Justice. "What's he doing now?" "Trjing to discover a technicality through which he may escape the Justice Jus-tice that the publio wishes to hand him." Chicago Record Herald., A Sure Hit at Llveri. "I hear, doctor, that my friond Brown, whom you have been treating ko long for liver trouble, has died of stomach trouble," said one of tho physician's phy-sician's patients. "Don't you believe all your hear," replied the doctor. "When I treat a man for liver trouble, he dies of liver trouble." Everybody's. If Too Presumptuous. Head waiter' tdlgnltled and pompous) pomp-ous) Have you ordered, sir? Despairing Patron Yes; I ordered a porterhouso steak half an hour ago. (. |