Show 7 1 7 W 7 tv ma I 1 7 i i t THE MELON MARAUDER A seasonable sketch of the tile hoodlums slimmer lire life forbidden fruit it is said tastes exceedingly sweet ever since the days when eve tasted the apple and adam participated in the prohibited performance dieci especially is this ahn case with melons there seems to be for the bem fem festive aeve hoodlum an irresistible attraction an un over come able allurement which magnetizes magnetizer magne him into the patch among the vines until ho be has glutted his appetite and ruined his health fences barbed wire rock walls arc are unable to withstand the intruders importunity bulldogs barking or biting are ire equally unavailable shotguns threaten in in vain broomsticks flourish f for or bothin nothing 91 and eatn the sarr star of the officer twinkles only dimly but danzl dazzles es not the melon ina marauder ho he is bent on eating the green death and hell have it at the tile imminent risk of limb and life and ho he is fastidious with his pocketknife which is perhaps yet red with the blood of the innocent fowl he be slaughtered in a neighboring or i lien coop or blunted from his if efforts m arts to get the cork out of a stolen beer bottle or whisky flask he lie plugs the unconscious ground fruit to ascertain its quality the color of its insi the saccharine amount of the luscious pulp if dissatisfied with the anatomical investigation investigation vesti gation tiou ho lie gives the spoiled melon a vigorous and vicious kick of disappointment he ile puts the tile iron heel beel of his disgust u upon pon the object of his contempt and alil flings ics acs it among the tile ad adjoining i billing sagebrush I 1 or into the empty water beet sect but if licis successful iuliis if his blade blad 0 strikes a iceman foeman worthy of his steel woo to the white striped green oval the savagery ofa of a hun hurt or the cruelty of a cannibal will pae by the side of the merciless branner irai ncr in which the melon fiend will massacre the doomed verdant victim of his voracity little he lie cares for the laws of health little che be troubles his head over the latest cholera reports re orts from egypt little lie reeks about about the law of f physics that a cubic foot of matter requires a cubic foot of space ho gets a gallon g a of melon pulp into a stomach holding only two pints diaphragm mucous membrane and other abato mical in ical portions of his system arc are not considered down goes tile melon chunk hunk upon chunk until his abdomen is a whole calamity calain ity shop but the height of epicurean enjoyment ll 11 is reached by the melon marauder when lie can sit down not under his own vine but under a neigh neighbors bore gorging his system with the fragrant frn grant fruit and tauntingly t defying the presence cf of the unfortunate fortunate ani female proprietor of the premises where is is the lady the woman even evell tile virago yea the termagant magant er who could expel a youth jent bent and bending bendin S on melons from tom the pursuit of his happiness with tho imperturbable stolidity of an anchorite he lie sits its amidst the melons some disdainfully crushed crus lied haying having been weighed and found wanting others plugged into the crimson co core re others sla slashed shed and sliced and others awaiting the fate of disemboweling disembowel ing what to him are the tile requests reque As to leave the behesta behests to git out the threats to send for the alecce pl ecce the bran dished broomstick fiercely flashing female optic hell have his fill of melon As much breath as he be can call spare between tho the successive chunks of melon liell hell expend in emphatically expressing his supreme contempt to the tile owner of the lot defying her to get got him 11 im 01 out laughing 9 ather at her tb threats aud and artfully artfully dodging the inexperienced flourishes flour flourishes isles of th the 0 wo womans homans malla wooden weapon ve apon not until lie has replenished the receptacle of his avidity will he lie move and then being heavily loaded ho lie will depart with the the slow dignity dign ily of coriolan u 8 going into exile h lie e goes but with a portentous promise ho lie will come again acain |